The dandelion* is a wondrous flower. Many claim it has medicinal and nutritional value. I don’t know about that. Maybe it’s true. I just find them wildly beautiful. Please watch this time lapse video of a dandelion over one month (Neil Bromhall):
*dandelion literally means “tooth of a lion” in French
I used to “meditate” incorrectly. I closed my eyes and focused on being aware of my surroundings and my thoughts. I noticed my thoughts and tried to “let them go.” But my thoughts were either judgments or I was judging my thoughts (!) I assumed I was meditating correctly, because I was quite aware of everything…however, I was placing opinion on all of it.
Being present (meditating) means being aware of everything in the present time without judgment.
If you’re like me, you’d be shocked at how much you judge yourself and others. With practice, you can minimize placing personal value on yourself and others. I catch myself doing it and am able to correct it.
Criticizing is the opposite of kindness and impedes inner peace.
“Mind your own business.” This phrase could be perceived as rude (context and tone would give a clue), but not necessarily. It comes down to facts. I have my business, you have yours. Conflicts can arise when we cross boundaries.
Sometimes, people make other people’s business their own. Why? Because they are judgmental, unhappy, uninformed, or just fearful of change.
Case(s) in point:
This year, I have decided to pursue learning how to draw and paint. I was not expecting comments like, “Why are you taking a class? Just draw! You don’t need a class, that’s silly.”
I also decided to stop doing a lot of extra volunteer duties at work. Response: “But you’ve alwaysdone (fill-in-the-blank).”
These responses are generally directed toward women, by the way. I rarely never see men at the receiving end of such remarks.
How to react? Just smile and ignore it. Listen to your gut and do what works best for you. As Eric Barker says, the first step to pursuing what makes you happy is to define it for yourself!
Speaking of grains (sort of)….
Did you know Doritos is making “lady friendly chips“? (Washington Post) Read the article, Maura Judkis is hilarious.
What do I like about chips? Hmm, I guess I like how they are small and petite, like me! I like how the bags are shiny and have bright colors. Though I know that chips are not technically meant for Ladies like me because their bags are never pink. If only there were chips that came in a pink bag, so I would know that gentle Ladies like myself could consume them with dignity!
As I mentioned before, Eric Barker’s book, Barking Up the Wrong Tree is definitely worth reading. Most of the book consists of interesting case studies to prove points (importance of networking, believing in yourself, risk-taking, being kind vs. ruthless, perseverance and the company you keep). However, his final chapter does a nice job of wrapping things up tightly.
In a nutshell, here is what he (and tons of research) find:
You must define success for yourself.
There are four quadrants to everlasting happiness:
Barker recommends creating an actual grid and listing action items for each category. Also, he believes there is value in tracking what you are actually doing against this grid (Netflix marathon would not qualify for “enjoying” – rather, being in the flow of work is true enjoyment).
Lastly, Barker says scheduling your to dos is much more effective than a list!