[This is an ad ghost-written by me, on behalf of my husband].

 

MWM Seeks General Practitioner

You:  Good-looking, fit doctor. Non-smoker. Willing to give tough love. Age between 30 and 49 (I don’t want you dying on me). Friendly, passionate, conversationalist (I like to talk), must be funny. Race unimportant. Favors advice of healthy eating and exercise over pill-popping, per my wife.

 

Me: Hilarious white male. 6′ tall, 200-something-lbs. (will discuss when we meet).  Nonsmoker. Honest. Good-looking. Hobbies include football (watching) and baseball (also watching).  Cookie-addict. Seeking painless weight-loss. Call me.