While pregnant with her, the most astounding thing happened! I would put food in my mouth and chew. She’d kick like mad before I even swallowed. This occurred every time. I was incredulous – what a baby!
When she was two, she had chocolate cake. She kicked her feet high in delight. The frosting was all over her face and her eyes shone with joy.
At four, she had pizza. How she held it in her tiny, pudgy hands!
She’s had many meals since then. With girlish abandon, she eats what she wants when she wants: warm bread with butter, garlic mashed potatoes, steak, ice cream sundaes and healthy food, too.
She. Loves. Food. She likes high quality food. She can discern whether ingredients are fresh and she doesn’t like gristle on her steak.
She also loves dance class. She loves to learn challenging moves and practice them over and over and get good at it. She’s made such progress! Her body is lithe, supple and strong.
She’s my baby. She’s 15, but she’s my baby and I want her to be happy and healthy. I want her to love eating, dancing, laughing and playing violin all the rest of her days. I want her to enjoy life!
But our culture wants to destroy her. American society wants her mind to be cloudy with insecurity and a bit of self-hatred. Air-brushed models are in magazines, surgically modified celebrities are on TV, the Internet and film.
Even family members make comments. Grandparents plant seeds of doubt when they caution against weight gain. They compare sisters to each other, silently massacring dreams and self-confidence. They undermine the strong sisterly bond that exists. Well, they try anyway. These girls have each other’s backs, thank goodness.
If she were my son, would you tell him to watch what he eats? Would you scare him and tell him he might get fat if he “puts that” in his mouth? Would you comment on his figure as he stands in front of the fridge?
Please…I implore you…stop it. Stop with the comments and the body shaming. Stop trying to exert control through fear.
Let her enjoy all that life has to offer.
Kismet 
Public portions and private hells. Even dance and violin can’t keep her safe from competition and the truly scary diseases that land on food because all Americans want and what they sell us that we are lacking is control. Self control, external control. Out of control lives end up, for some reason, at the dinner table, and food becomes the controllable enemy. Yeah, tell them all to leave her alone about food.
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I’ve had a similar, but opposite experience. In fact, the first name for the health/diet food memoir was “stop trying to kill my kids with your food”…
Food focus is skewed in the US…
We’re supposed to consume consume consume food, everything that generates money for businesses… even when people place those seeds of doubt? It’s got a dollar sign at the end… (gym membership, etc)
We do our best… and try to refocus the lens on Food nutrition and quality… same with self image…
Sounds like your daughter has the right idea tho! 😊
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“Extortion of another’s soul via their anxiety is cruelty personified…”
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Indeed! The madness must stop!
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