I’ve been listening to podcasts. Many podcasts. My favorites are Tony Robbins and Optimal Living Daily. Recently, I heard Esther Perel on Tony Robbins and it was mind-blowing! I learned so much. I’m in a healthy marriage, but I know a lot of people are not. I thought I’d share some interesting tidbits here. Perel, by the way, is a relationship expert. She’s been studying relationships for 35 years. Esther is the daughter of Holocaust survivors. She’s amazing and you can read more about her here.
The following information is from Tony’s podcast with Esther, Part II:
- It’s our differences that create passion.
- Triggers for affairs – Two main reasons:
- feeling neglected, loneliness, sexual frustration, a deadness inside (bad marriages)
- to feel “alive” – the absence of obligation and burden (good marriages). Not for sex, but for desire and aliveness.
- People having affairs are not looking for another partner, but a new “self”
- How to recover from an affair:
- acknowledge the pain you created with the affair (remorse);
- prove how much you want to stay – give back the value of your partner;
- help your partner understand why you did it (a list of hotels is NOT the answer);
- there can be no shame in staying
…to be continued…
*Tony Robbins Podcast October 18, 2017