He’s texting and calls out, “spell upholstery please”
I answer, “u-p-h-o-l-s-t-e-r-y”
He asks for more –
Outside, the owls – a traveling pair – coo
I wonder if she has to spell for him, too
“What’s wrong with dad? He looks like he lost his best friend.” Josie says.
I look at my husband sitting at the end of the pool. He
does look forlorn.
“Are you OK? You look sad.”
“Yeah. I’m just considering the preseason injuries the 49ers sustained. It doesn’t look good.”
“Oh well, I’m sure sitting here worrying will help,” I chuckle.
“And we have the pool cover on wrong.”
“I’ll help you turn it over.”
“And I’m still fat*. I look in the mirror and I just don’t want to be this fat.”
“Why don’t you exercise? Make it fun?”
“No, it’s too hot for fun.”
“OK, Eeyore. Have it your way.”
We both laugh.
post about his weight loss. He’s lost over 15 lbs in the past two months!
Today is our 21st wedding anniversary.
The other night, my husband, my mother and I, were in our swimming pool under a full moon.
William pointed at shining orbs in the inky sky. “That’s Jupiter and look..that’s Venus.” Mom stared and said, “I didn’t know that!”
He takes the telescope out, located the planets and asks her to come out of the pool to look at them. With some adjustments, she sees them. The full moon, especially, astounds her.
I wonder if she’s ever looked through a telescope before.
They marvel at the planets.
I marvel at them.
I’m working in his office just for the balance of summer. It’s kinda nice…
Drawing Practice #55
Went for a run again last night with William. It was much colder than it has been, but we didn’t back down. We also ran during sunset and not in the dark. It was beautiful and I was (am!) grateful for this connection with my husband and nature.
As we approach the new year, I’m reflecting on this past year. It was pretty awesome. One thing I’d like to have more of is outdoor time as a family: more hiking and less technology. (Technology is great, don’t get me wrong, but using it most of one’s waking hours is not necessary).
Went running through the desert
I thought of the kangaroos I drew
with deep admiration of
their hefty legs
Our hearts beating
lungs exchanging energy
Photo by Paz Arando
More information from Tony Robbins’ podcast with Esther Perel on Infidelity:
Infidelity is #1 reason for divorce in France, but not just because of cheating, but because the cheated believes their partner “fell in love with someone else.”
Perel asks her cheating clients if they suffered a loss recently, such as the death of a loved one. Sometimes people try to fill that loss. It has nothing to do with their partner.
People often do what they are allowed to do.
That’s worth repeating: People often do what they are ALLOWED to do!
If you find messages between your spouse and his/her lover, do not read all the messages. You will not be able to get them out of your head.
Some questions to ask when you find out your partner cheated:
How did this happen? Were you being safe? Why did this happen? Is there another child? Do I know this person? Is this person likely to come after us?
Don’t ever make decisions based on the affair. Do not think your entire life is destroyed. You will need a good therapist who can help you contain the situation in the first month or two.
What should people DO in this situation?
Change your story, change your life.
Is there any good in staying and working it out?
You need to ask yourself if you’ve given what the other needs.
We are willing to work really hard in business, in our work, but we expect our marriage to be easy.
Show up. Do the right thing, even if it’s hard. No one who does the right thing ever regrets it.
Stop being a pleaser.
Ask for what you want.
What if the worst day of your life became the best day of your life? (This is a Tony-ism)
What can we learn from this? What did we neglect? What were we complacent about?
You can’t change your partner. You can only change yourself.
Ask questions that will reveal information about your partner. Don’t ask sordid questions.
If you made mistakes in this relationship and you choose to move on, you will repeat your mistakes.
Your partner never belongs to you. We all have the option to renew.
If you want to purchase Esther Perel’s book,
The State of Affairs, you can go here .