I was listening to the Rich Roll podcast with Susan David, a medical doctor and researcher out of Harvard. They were talking about emotional agility, which is handling our emotions in a positive and flexible way, without shame and permanence. Apparently, this resonates with a lot of people as her TedTalks have been watched millions of times!
One example she cited about “social contagion” leaped out at me:
Let’s say you have decided to go on a health kick and you want to avoid junk food. You get on a plane and sit next to a stranger. He buys a candy bar. There is a 70% chance that you, too, will purchase a sugary sweet. 70%! That is social contagion.
I’ve been listening to podcasts. Many podcasts. My favorites are Tony Robbins and Optimal Living Daily. Recently, I heard Esther Perel on Tony Robbins and it was mind-blowing! I learned so much. I’m in a healthy marriage, but I know a lot of people are not. I thought I’d share some interesting tidbits here. Perel, by the way, is a relationship expert. She’s been studying relationships for 35 years. Esther is the daughter of Holocaust survivors. She’s amazing and you can read more about her here.
The following information is from Tony’s podcast with Esther, Part II:
It’s our differences that create passion.
Triggers for affairs – Two main reasons:
feeling neglected, loneliness, sexual frustration, a deadness inside (bad marriages)
to feel “alive” – the absence of obligation and burden (good marriages). Not for sex, but for desire and aliveness.
People having affairs are not looking for another partner, but a new “self”
How to recover from an affair:
acknowledge the pain you created with the affair (remorse);
prove how much you want to stay – give back the value of your partner;
help your partner understand why you did it (a list of hotels is NOT the answer);
I hardly remembered what I read, but I recently listened to a podcast (Optimal Living Daily) where the podcaster reviewed this book. The big takeaway (among many) is that people spend an awful lot of time trying to blaze their own trails to success when they can simply follow someone who has already achieved what they want.
The reasoning, Justin (podcast host) believes, is because it feels good to try to create our own means and methods. But if you really want to achieve your goal(s), the most efficient way is to simply follow what someone already did.
This makes sense! Why reinvent the wheel?
We feel good and effective as we blaze our own trail, because we feel so busy.
But do not confuse “busy” with “productive.”
Check the podcast out, he covers many great writers and entrepreneurs. Justin’s voice is very even and mellow. It was easy to listen to as I walked my dog.