Been dealing with serious monkey mind. Practiced yoga the other day and that helped, but I need to get out of the house in order to write. There are too many distractions here at home. It does not help that I’m trying to simplify the house and so my eyes are constantly surveying things around the house that need to be picked up, organized or disposed of.

In the end, what does it matter? What does any of this matter?

Perhaps I need to stop reading the news. It’s getting me down.

I’m fortunate to have a beautiful family. Willey and I are both employed. We have a home. We have a great dog. Things are wonderful.

So we have JiMin, who is a wonderful taste of Korea right in our home. We have conversations regarding Korean customs and her family and the stresses of academic life. We explain things on a daily basis of “The American Way,” and I’m realizing something disconcerting: I want to go to Korea. It’s been 10 years. It’s a real challenge now what with the hubby, jobs, and children. But I really want to go as a family and for a period of time, like 6 months. I’m writing a novel and although it’s wonderful to have JiMin here to ask questions as I conduct research, I need to be there, to smell things, to hear the noises and the language, to sit in on high school classes and drink it all in. How can this happen?

That’s the word count I have on my novel. I am THRILLED when I write 300 words in one day. I’m very happy with the ideas I have on paper so far. It’s amazing how a story develops as you write. The writing process will always satisfy me.

We had a minor tragedy this evening. I told Josie and Ava to clean Ava’s room (they both made the mess) before dinner. Ava emerges 10 minutes later and says, “mom, will you please help me clean my room? Josie isn’t helping me.” I looked around for Josie. Our bathroom door was locked. Willey and Josie were in there, having a serious conversation. I told them that Josie better come out and help her sister clean up! Willey replied, “yes, Caroline, she will. Just give her a minute.” So I did. Then he comes out and tells me that we have a slight tragedy of sorts….Josie has cut her own hair and is extremely upset for two reasons: one, she doesn’t like it. Two, she’s very fearful of my reaction. “So, please, don’t yell at her. She cried a large puddle already.”  I was curious about the new ‘do.

JiMin asked “what’s wrong with Josephine?” I told her what I knew. Ava said, “I saw her. Her hair looks like this”:  she fanned her fingers above her forehead.

Josie ran to her room crying hysterically. I went in and calmed her down. “I don’t want to be punished!” she yelled. “OK, I’m not going to punish you, but you need to have a consequence. Ava cleaned her room all by herself. And I had to help a little bit. You were supposed to help her clean it.”  Josie readily agreed.

“So, I’m giving Ava a magnet.”

“And taking one of mine away?”

“No, you just don’t get one. But you can earn one tomorrow. You’ll have to do something extra to help.”

Josie liked this idea. We then had our curry and read books and did some math (adding three different digits).

Now, I write this blog, my eyes burning from fatigue. It’s not even 9pm yet. I still have to write up my summer school course descriptions for the catalog and email it tonight. Luckily, I wrote my 300 words already.

It’s something you can lose or forget you have, like that 5 spot in the pocket of your jeans. Weeks might go by without it and when you find it, you’re elated. I laughed tonight reading a friend’s blog. She’s talented and hilarious and I know she must have had some serious hardship and heartbreak in order to earn her humor. I miss her.

I’m procrastinating at the moment. My former Kicking Muse writing cohort from San Francisco asked me to read her manuscript. It’s 492 pages long. It’ll be a nice, easy read…but still, 492 pages long!  It also remind me that I only have a measly 1,200 WORDS in my novel. Pfffffffft! Here goes!

Willey has a bad cold. Our Valentine’s kisses are limited to quick pecks of the lips. Of course, that’s temporary – he always says “what the heck” and so do I. We share EVERYTHING! The girls are full of energy and are displaced for a few minutes as the heating maintenance man is here, checking the vents. JiMin just woke up. It’s early for her 9am! Being a teenager has some benefits…

My goal is to get a very good idea of my characters today and to write (even if crappy) 300 words. That is LaMott’s prescription. I only have a couple index cards written out.

My Valentine’s present this year was a delicious margarita – Willey makes the best ones. This morning, he made me a cup of coffee.