I just saw a documentary called “Twinsters” on Netflix (Thanks Erin)! It’s about a 27-year-old Korean adoptee who finds out via social media that she has an identical twin who grew up in France. Their ultimate meeting and journey to South Korea is fascinating.
It’s a feel good testament to love, which might be just what you need to see right now.
In yesterday’s post about First World Suicides, I mentioned that South Korea is #1 for suicide rates among the developed countries and they have held this position for the past eight years.
In a country where the pressures of ambition, achievement and success are omnipresent, students feel frustrated, anxious and ultimately, dejected. Up to 40 people commit suicide each day.
What is South Korea doing about this problem?
This:
Students are enrolling in “death experience” schools where they go undergo their own funerals. The hope and expectation is that students completing the program will learn to appreciate life again. Indeed, some of the graduates emerge with a sense of “cleansing” and “enlightenment.”
Young students are not the only clients. Others enrolling in these schools includes middle-aged people anxious about finances and the elderly who are afraid of being burdens on their families.
The program is designed to provide an opportunity for reflection. Suicidal clients are directed to reflect on the “collateral damage” their deaths might cause and they are reminded that a critical part of life is to have problems and to handle them.
One factor fueling the stress of success is South Korea’s rapid progress as a super power. In just a few decades, “South Korea has rocketed from one of the poorest countries in the world to the 12th biggest global economic power” (Daily Mail).¹
I’d like to hear your thoughts on this. Answer below!
Citations
¹http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3284587/Learn-dead-day-Suicidal-people-locked-coffins-bizarre-death-experience-schools-South-Korea-40-people-kill-day.html
If you haven’t read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, you need to put it on your reading list as soon as possible.
In nine chapters, he illustrates and analyzes the factors for quirky successes as well as a few quirky disasters. One of the strong influences for some very interesting anomolies is the culture factor. For example, in the chapter “The Ethnic Theory of Plane Crashes,” he states: “Planes are safer when the least experienced pilot is flying because it means the second pilot isn’t going to be afraid to speak up.” One particularly frightening example Gladwell uses is that of Korean Airlines between 1988 and 1998. Their plane crash rate was 17 times higher than the U.S. In Korean culture, a subordinate (in this case, the first officer) plays a very passive role. This is not ideal in cases of inclement weather, mechanical failure or pilot fatigue. Only after a major revamping of their work culture, did KAL improve their safety status.
Continuing this analysis, I believe there is also a socioeconomic culture that keeps some people “down.” High SES kids are taught early to “speak up” and even question authority if they see fit. Low SES students generally do not question “experts” and do not feel they can ask questions in the classroom or the doctor’s office. Assertiveness is a skill that needs to be modeled and taught because a lack of it leads to apathy in health and wealth.
citation
Gladwell, Malcolm. Outliers: The Story of Success.
1st ed. New York: Little, Brown and Company, 2008.
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I couldn’t believe it. Where is the humanity? The abuse and absolute horrific treatment of North Korean civilians by their government is well-known so why would South Koreans greet them with anything but open arms? It’s clear that education and empathy are absent.
Enter an amazing South Korean TV program called, “Now On My Way to Meet You.” It’s an example of using media as a powerful medium for positive social change. The program first aired December of 2011 and, despite the tagline which alludes to “North Korean Beauties,” it does anything but objectify these escapees. You can read more about it and watch a clip here: Cari’s Blog. Basically, these women play games, laugh and recount their stories of life in North Korea for an enormous South Korean audience. The result? An empathetic reaction where South Koreans are understanding and seeing these women as people. The culture is slowly evolving into a supportive, loving one towards their sisters and brothers.
I have numerous cousins, aunts and uncles who live in South Korea and I have visited the country three times. In 1999, I was there for two months on an NSF research grant and I fell in love with the land and people. As news of the ferry disaster unfolded, there was a collective sigh of exasperation, shock, and anger all around me. How could this happen? The students were told to stay put? Why?!
If my father had not decided to immigrate to the United States, I could have been born and raised in South Korea. In fact, if that had happened, I would likely have been married with children a bit earlier (and who knows?) I could have had a high school student on the ill-fated Sewol ferry and be mourning his/her death right now. These connections and possibilities only make me ponder our roles in life. I’m a teacher and I’m proud of it because I can actually impact 32 young people per year. But… can I do more? The producer of “On My Way to Meet You” has created such a critical solution to an enormous problem. What if we all stopped asking why and started asking how? HOW can I help this situation? I think it’s a powerful question.
Some occasions in life seem designed to test you. I believe they are there to see if you do the right thing, w
hich is simply to say nothing. If an idiot offends you with an impulsive, derogatory remark, you are the better person for ignoring it. I’ve been taught that and I impart this bit of wisdom to my daughters and students. Growing up in Iowa in the late sixties, early seventies, I was called “chink” quite a bit. I learned to turn my head and ignore it. At a roller skating party, a boy of about fifteen, skated up to me and sang loudly with the music, “Like a refugee!” I was eleven and had no idea what he was talking about, but from the laughter and looks his friends gave me, I knew it wasn’t a compliment. There was also that song, “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting” which the boys really wanted me to know, but I digress. I tell my daughters to do the same thing when “boys” or “people” bother them. I don’t recall arguing with my parents the way my kids do, but whatever….that’s not what I’m writing about, either.
My lovely mother is here to help me out. Because I am not allowed to drive for three to four weeks post-surgery and Willey has to work, my mother is THE driver. I will not alarm you, dear reader, by sharing her driving record with you. Let us just say she’s greatly improved in the last two decades. Let’s just say at about the same time boys were serenading me with the Kung-Fu Fighting and Refugee songs, my mother would feign any knowledge of English when she’d be pulled over by an officer for things like speeding or going through stop lights. She suddenly lost “all her English” and was usually let go with a warning. I distinctly remember her saying “In Korea, no lights! I confused,” and the officer let her go!
When she arrived here at my house last month, I painfully detailed the importance of yielding at the roundabouts. We have two in a row we must drive through to get anywhere (Safeway, Peter Piper Pizza, the hair salon, etc.). “Caroline! You think I can’t drive? How long I’ve been driving now? I drive in Chicago! Mesa is so easy, no traffic.” I imagine the countless number of drivers who must honk at her (and give her other gestures) as she makes her away around, and I think her loss of hearing is a blessing in this case.
Like many of her 66 year old comrades, her hearing is all but gone. My sister purchased top-of-the-line hearing aids for her. Even with these, her hearing capacity can be 60%, depending on the condition of her batteries. She copes with her inability to hear with the catch phrase she’s learned from co-workers in an Alzheimer’s home where she works as an aide. She says, “Gotcha” and nods her head “yes” at the same time. Most people just say, “Yeah” and smile. My mom says, “Gotcha.” If you know my mother, this woman who immigrated from South Korea 43 years ago and speaks with a thick Korean accent, you would appreciate the utter charm of it. “Gotcha” and a nod of her permed head.
Yesterday, after dropping my daughters off to summer school, we headed to Phoenix to meet my oncologist.
“Mom, you’re going to go straight, just as if we’re seeing Dr. Parson, but Dr. Isaacs is in Phoenix, which is five exits past Dr. Parson’s office.”
With both hands gripped tightly around the wheel, she gives me a shake of the head and a “Gotcha.”
She drives.
“OK, mom, make a left at Shea and go straight for awhile. I’ll tell you when to turn right.”
“You forgot to shave? That’s OK. Why you have to shave?”
“Oh.My.Gosh. You forgot your hearing aids?!” I ask in disbelief. Suddenly, I realize I could probably drive. I feel fine and have gotten a lot stronger since my surgery two weeks ago. My chest is throbbing, I’m anxious about what the oncologist will say and now I have to address this. I choose to remain silent.
Another shake of the head, her eyes squint into the light (no sunglasses either). “Sometimes, hearing aid is bother. Really bother you. I don’t like them.”
We head into the office and meet a wonderful doctor. Long story short, he reads my six page pathology report and tells me that with the double mastectomy and the very small sizes of my cancers, he recommends no further treatment. No chemo! No radiation! Not even Tamoxifen! I am elated, ready for some Kung-fu fighting.
I’m having a great day of writing! I swore off Facebook, CNN.com and even Oprah to write all afternoon. 7,292 words on the novel thus far and there is no stopping me. I’m feeling good about the content too. I just have to keep writing every day, keep up this progress.
I’m learning so much through this exercise. For example, did you know that corporal punishment in South Korean schools was REINSTATED in 1999? I’m also able to write about common themes which seem taboo: lack of paternal affection for sons, climbing the corporate ladder, cultural clashes. More to come…
Kismet 