Frivolity

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We have a natural tendency to be preoccupied with things and competition (Mine is better than yours, I make more than you, I’m good at this, what are you good at?)

But there comes a time when this comes to a natural conclusion (perhaps a little after adulthood), and can be replaced by something deeper: Finding your essence identity (spiritual dimension).

The material and form identities still exist, but they should no longer give you a sense of who you are.

Lighten up. It’s just form. You never cease being you and there’s no need to get excited or stressed about the forms that happen in your life.

(Eckhart Tolle)

Sunday Suggestion

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I’ve been pushing myself lately to be as productive as possible at work and at home: teaching, preparing for National Board Certification, participating in a video coaching study, painting, working on two books and publishing this blog daily.  🙂  Exercising in the morning actually makes me feel more energetic so that is how I start the day. The days end with cooking dinner and cleaning up.

But I’ve been feeling…unsettled….a bit anxious, even. If I don’t get to all my tasks, I feel down on myself. I’ve been feeling like the proverbial hamster on her wheel: running and getting nowhere.

A few days ago, I was waylaid by the flu. I gave a talk Thursday night to parents for Curriculum Night and then collapsed when I got home.

Of course, I was majorly bummed and nearly distraught: I don’t have time to be sick!

Bedbound, I realized the grace in being forced to slow down. Obviously, my body is trying to tell me something. Unable to clean the house, paint (properly), write or workout is a good exercise in just being. Illness has forced me to get more sleep and in stillness, I’ve watched the monsoons each night in all their glory: thunder, lightning and rain.

So, today, my Sunday Suggestion is to slow down. Maybe whittle a task or two off your “To Do List”

Say “no” more often. Ask for help. Take a walk instead of checking email. Hang out with positive, quality people. Plan a day to do nothing but enjoy yourself.

It might diminish the anxiety. It might help you find your center. It’s already working for me.

 

 

 

Romantic Interlude

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“What’s wrong with dad? He looks like he lost his best friend.” Josie says.

I look at my husband sitting at the end of the pool. He does look forlorn.

 

“Are you OK? You look sad.”

“Yeah. I’m just considering the preseason injuries the 49ers sustained. It doesn’t look good.”

“Oh well, I’m sure sitting here worrying will help,” I chuckle.

“And we have the pool cover on wrong.”

“I’ll help you turn it over.”

“And I’m still fat*. I look in the mirror and I just don’t want to be this fat.”

“Why don’t you exercise? Make it fun?”

“No, it’s too hot for fun.”

“OK, Eeyore. Have it your way.”

 

We both laugh.

 

*see post about his weight loss. He’s lost over 15 lbs in the past two months!

Decency

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Volkman

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.

Eckhart Tolle

We might experience far fewer relationship conflicts if we look at those who lash out as those who are in pain…because they are. This is how we practice equanimity.

 

 

 

 

Afflicted

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Thought of this image as I drove home yesterday.

 

 

your restless thoughts

are trembling dis-eases

a burden you strapped to your back

examine the contents

and

let

them

go

 

 

 

 

 

Wanting

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“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”  Dalai Lama

Sometimes, we want something very badly: a new job, a promotion, a raise, or an award of some kind. It’s usually because obtaining it would give us meaning, value or respect in the eyes of others.

It’s good to strive for better. It’s good to push yourself. But it’s in the effort that the reward sits, not in the fruit.

Eckhart Tolle says, “How do you let go of attachments of things? Don’t even try. Effort creates attachment. Attachment to things drops away by itself when you no longer seek to find yourself in them.”

Byron Katie reminds us that (for example) when it comes to working hard to get a new job (crafting your resume and cover letter, preparing for the interview), that is YOUR business. But when it comes to deciding whether you get that job, that is THEIR business and all the rest is up to “god” (her definition of god is reality).

So stay in your business. Live each moment fully. And let everything else go.