Reflection

 

Because your father and the Korean War

treated you mercilessly

you swallowed the hate, anger and resentment

with tiny grains of rice and near-clear broth

 

You read books and taught yourself

math – the universal language

you patched holes in your shoes and clothes

sewed extra material to your pant legs

 

With marriage and children, hunger multiplied

your craving for recognition and love

were bottomless pits of self-doubt

and utter darkness

 

You lashed out and your fears

masqueraded as control and power

launched your family away

but your heart cried

come back

 

 

Bank Your Account

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I’m a teacher with a limited income. (How’s that for redundant?)

I contribute to my retirement funds, pay my bills, pay for my daughters’ violins, symphony fees and lessons. After that, I don’t have much left. And I don’t feel like I can treat myself to a manicure or purse. I just put the little morsels in savings, paycheck after paycheck.

But I’ve been finding myself feeling a bit empty. Do you know how Stephen Covey says you need to be mindful of emotional bank accounts in your relationships? I believe this pertains to the relationship you have with yourself, as well.

I decided to invest in myself and I have not felt this good in a very long time. I’m taking a class. It’s not cheap. But I believe it will help me achieve a lot more than if I didn’t take it. I feel empowered. Invigorated. Optimistic.

It might take just a small visit to a cupcake shop. It might mean you check yourself into a local hotel for a night or two to have peace and quiet to work on your screenplay. Or maybe it’s time for you to pursue that degree you’ve always dreamed of. Only you know for sure what will make a deposit into your own emotional bank account. But do it. Do what it takes. It will not only raise your spirits, but it’ll raise the spirits of those you love and who love you.

Two days ago, a car was t-boned right in front of me. My daughter was with me, sitting in the front passenger seat. The car flipped and landed upside down just 8 feet from my car. When it was in the air, I thought it might land on us. It didn’t. I realized at that moment – life is really short and unpredictable. When you’re on your deathbed, will you have regrets? That would be the saddest thing of all. It’s up to you. What are you waiting for?