No longer mine – can’t carry you anymore,
you’ll stumble, fall and eventually – soar,
As your path widens and grows long,
I realize how I was so very wrong
You take your steps while I watch
Your self-determination can be dreadful
yet entirely convincing
It’s fast becoming apparent
that your flubs and whims aren’t errant
You don’t own reasons for my heart breakin’
for I never “owned” you, in that, I was mistaken
When I am a woman of old,
I shall never do what I’m told.
I’ll walk in puddles of deep muck,
and never give a flying…care.
To the ice cream parlor I’ll shuffle,
and wolf down a chocolate truffle.
For hours and hours I’ll sit,
and never, ever give a…care.
With my sister, we will hang glide,
and bi-monthly, we’ll scuba dive.
I might be on a crime program,
but I really won’t give a…care.
I’ve walked this trail so many times,
in seasons of both joy and grief;
matters bloom which suspend belief,
now I’m mezzo from birth to death.
This term, I’ve come to realize,
the purpose of one’s life lodges
not in popular mirages,
but undulates upon each breath.
canning fact’ry, sister in tow
third shift hours drove us loco
summer work to save some money
storing corn at the Del Monte
fingers smashed in the fast belt line
lead to chain of annoying whine
working among grown men, we pine
for sleep and food and all things fine
at last the summer job has closed
mom serves us corn, sister opposed
her first crush – a man ! – undisclosed
and now, for us, hard work is prosed
Home was Tammy Wynette singing twangy about d-i-v-o-r-c-e,
and Lionel Richie on my small radio, under blankets at night.
Airmail from Sunchang and mom’s lonely tears on the kitchen floor,
the wailing of Korean soap operas mingled with Fonzie’s voice.
Home was sex, drugs and rock n roll knocking on the door,
while Lawrence Welk swayed elegantly in the living room.
Home was as long and drawn out as the Mississippi River,
as sweet and sad as my first kiss with Torin, a black boy
who whispered “pretty young thing” as we stood on the porch.
My brother asked, “I saw you kiss him, did he use his tongue?”