“There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself.”
Hannah Gadsby
Gadsby’s stand up is pure genius. Check it out on Netflix. Here’s the trailer.
Warning: Her one hour stand up is not for the timid.
Broken
Tag: humor
Peddling
The History of Snake Oil
When Chinese railroad workers came to California, they brought with them a magical elixir made from water snake fat. The fat from these snakes was high in Omega-3 fatty acids which we know today really does work for reducing inflammation, blood pressure and more. Non-Chinese went crazy for the stuff.
Non-Chinese started to make their own snake oil, but either watered it down, or used fat from other animals that were not nearly as high in Omega-3. Peddlers sold this inferior “snake oil” and then it got a bad reputation. (Very Well Health)
And here is one example of modern day “snake oil”:
Wait, you can INFUSE YOUR SKIN with youth? Why, then, is it on clearance?
Freebie for You
Now that I have nearly mastered painting (as evidenced in my drunken kangaroo and Chiweenie (aka “the Rat Dog”), I am sure you are wondering what goes on in the mind of an artistic genius.
You’re in luck.
I’ve decided to share this with you – and completely free of charge:
First, I sit with a pencil, a glass of water, my assortment of paint brushes, my gouache paints and the paper. The magic commences…
Oh God, I can’t…I just can’t draw this monkey/llama/dog/cat/kangaroo…I wish someone would draw it for me and I could just paint it. Like a coloring book, but with paint, not crayons.
Oh no…I cannot mix paints. I wish these colors all just came in the tubes – ready to go. I’m no good at mixing colors. They never come out the way I want. Wah…wah…wah!
Ugh, I have to paint that fine line? How? How does anyone paint such straight/smooth/exact lines? Its. Too. Hard.
Surprised? Yes, I knew you would be. Even great artists can be wracked with self-doubt. But we just go on and do it.
It is called “courage,” grasshopper.
Ice Breakers Part Deux
It’s summer school, 8:45am and the second graders are doing ice breakers (see yesterday’s post)
Adam*: “I have a little dog, a big dog and a cat…that cat is not so nice.”
Me: “I see. Does the cat bite?”
Adam: “Sometimes. If you came to my house and tried to pet it, then yes.”
Me: (laughing) “Well, I’ll try to remember that.”
“Oh! I also have…had…a hairless rat.”
“Had? Did he die?”
“Yes. He’s dead.”
“Dare I ask…did the not-so-nice cat…”
“No, no. The rat, he just died. You know, it’s the circle of life thing.”
* (not his real name)
Kids and Pets Part I
The Setting: Summer School with eleven 2nd graders, 8:45am.
We do an ice breaker: How many of you have pets? I ask.
Sam* raises his hand.
“I have a little dog, he’s part…”
“Poodle?!” Adam* interrupts.
“No, he’s part…”
“Beagle?”
“No, he’s part hot dog dog and…”
“Terrier?”
“NO! He’s part hot dog dog and chi…”
“He’s a chihuahua!”
“NO! I HAVE A CHIWEENIE!”
Go Fish…
I’m thinking about becoming a pescatarian…
Really? I thought you were a devout Catholic!
A Teacher’s Week
I started going out for runs at 5:30am this week. It’s a phenomenal way to start my day.
It was Teacher Appreciation Week and I received very touching notes from students (as well as their gifts).
It’s allergy season and it seems just about everyone exhibits some symptoms. My classes have gone through many boxes of tissues.
A word of advice: When a student sneezes and says, “Oh gosh!” Don’t look.
