I’m grocery shopping on a Saturday morning.
It’s crowded and I’m behind two elderly ladies who are walking slowly. I want to go faster. I feel anxious. But I keep frustration at bay. When the lane clears, I will get past them. Besides, someday, I, too, will have white hair, age spots and arthritis. They are cute. Are they sisters?
Suddenly, someone sighs heavily behind me. His cart dashes passed me and then passed the ladies, to our left. He is a very fit and tan man in his thirties. Swiftly, he parks his cart in front of the glass doors, reaches for yogurt and throws it into his cart. He scurries out of sight.
How dare he! He could hurt someone! What a menace…
My indignation softens. I actually feel sorry for him. He’s in some kind of pain which manifests itself this way. If he was happy, he wouldn’t act that way.
Choosing to see him in this light, my anger dissolves.
It’s not what you do, but how you do what you do.
She reluctantly volunteered to host the party. And then she complained and stressed about it for months. At last, the day arrived. She greeted the guests with a weary smile and they didn’t feel welcome at all. In fact, a good number of them wanted to leave right right away. Her mood colored the evening a dirty gray.
As the party ended, she uttered aloud, “Thank goodness it’s over!”
The guests felt the same way.
All that time, energy, and money wasted.
If you don’t want to do it. Don’t.
If you have to do it, then accept it. Accept the situation completely.
But if you can, enjoy doing it. Spread love, not regret.
We’ve lived here for 11 years now.
We putter around together in our backyard. William builds patios and walkways while I assemble a desert garden (herbs, cacti). Pretty soon, we’ll be swimming.
Maybe it just is. It’s not good or bad, it just is.
Taking a good picture with a manual camera requires forethought, patience and careful calibration. You choose what you take a picture of – that is, you choose what you focus on.
You also choose what you focus to think about. There is new scientific data that shows people who choose to meditate and/or think positively have increased plasticity of their brains. That is, they have strong external and internal networks in their brains. External networks light up when people think about external tasks and internal networks refer to matters that “involve themselves or emotions.”
Buddhist monks meditate and direct their minds to think compassionate thoughts and positive reflections. They purposely think this way.
Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist who ironically, suffered a brain hemorrhage. It (temporarily) disabled her ability for language and logic. With that, she was left with a dominant right hemisphere brain: creativity, intuition and imagination. She was happy. She was completely present and non-judgmental. All her thinking (and worrying) ceased. She had no negative thoughts! As her left brain recovered, she made up her mind (haha) to never go back. She chooses to think happy thoughts and to be blissful.
How do you do this?
Bolte Taylor says, “When you find yourself thinking negatively, it feels bad in your body. As soon as you feel it happening, think about something else!”
No longer mine – can’t carry you anymore,
you’ll stumble, fall and eventually – soar,
As your path widens and grows long,
I realize how I was so very wrong
You take your steps while I watch
Your self-determination can be dreadful
yet entirely convincing
It’s fast becoming apparent
that your flubs and whims aren’t errant
You don’t own reasons for my heart breakin’
for I never “owned” you, in that, I was mistaken
The journey takes up much more time than the destination. Shouldn’t you enjoy it?