Kismet

Inspiring Insight

Posts tagged ‘acceptance’

The Laughing Experiment Featured

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Lettering doodle

I’ve studied spiritual masters for years now. One (of many) common threads of assertions is that it is our thoughts that make us miserable (in fact, this might be the most basic tenet). Life is life. “Problems” – as we see them – are never ending.

But because most of us see the same things as problems, we don’t see an alternative way to interpret these events.

Your child didn’t get into the college of her choice;

your son accidentally demolishes your garage door with your car;

your husband loses his job;

you get a cancer diagnosis;

and on and on…

It does look impossible to see these as anything but problems. But are they? It’s just life.

Crying, moaning and complaining about them do no good.

Just handle it and, if you can, laugh at the same time.

Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was fortunate: early stage I. But while I recovered from the first of six surgeries, my husband lost his job. His boss cried as he let him go, knowing what we were “going through.” Our two daughters were six and eight years old. We worried about money and their emotional states.

It did seem like the beginning of the end.

But it wasn’t.

I’m here, stronger than ever. Wiser. Fearless.

My husband eventually got his current job – the best one he’s ever had.

Everything happens for a reason. The fact that it is happening is proof.

Handle it. Address the situation without anger, without sadness and without stress, if you can.

The distress and depression come from fighting it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wanting Vs. Doing

 

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Creative Bug Class (Lisa Congdon) Day 18: Structured Doodle

If you want different, you have to do different.

 

This includes:

Putting more hours in;

Doing smarter research;

Visualizing it happening and then doing more work; or

Thinking about it differently and accepting it for what it is. This last possibility escapes most people. They don’t believe they can think or feel differently about something. And they don’t feel they can accept reality. But they can!

 

 

 

3 Ways to Happy

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Drawing Practice #54

“Happiness is a choice.”

-Shawn Anchor

Three ways to become a happier person:

  1. Practice gratitude on a daily basis. Write about three things/people you are grateful for every day – and don’t repeat journal entries.
  2. Accept what is – don’t fight it, don’t worry about what might happen. View reality as beautiful.
  3. “The final habit is the most powerful that we’ve seen so far. For two minutes each day, start work by writing a two-minute positive e-mail or text praising or thanking one person you know. And do it for a different person each day.” (Shawn Anchor, Washington Post)

Anchor strongly believes that you must take responsibility for your well-being and contentment in life. Of course, clinical depression is a real thing. You may need medication, but the medication should be a stepping stone to getting yourself in a state where you can actively work to be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s All Good

I am grateful for people – nice and mean

Fortunes – good and bad, I love

I appreciate the pleasures, they’re pleasing

But pain brings growth and is never ceasing

So accept it all!

Alphabiography

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Photo by Jaime Serrano

I recently assigned an alphabiography to my 6th grade students. For each letter of the alphabet, they had to write 4 sentences regarding a meaningful topic (could be a noun, adjective, verb) to that letter. After reading theirs, I was inspired to write my own.  My version is presenting itself in poem form:

A is for Acceptance

I am learning to accept what is

to see every “flaw, mistake, tragedy” as beautiful

I’m getting better at not asking “why?”

And replacing it with “why not?”

 

 

*My Alphabiography project

 

 

 

5 Magic Words

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It Is What It Is

I used to hate this saying. I often heard it after I complained about something. What kind of retort is that? It just made me angry. “It is what it is.

When I was a kid, my home was toilet papered and egged. They wrote  “chink” on the driveway. “This happens,” my father said as our family cleaned the mess up. The words stung, like alcohol on an open wound. How could he react in such a weak manner?

And yesterday, my daughter cried. A boy she considers to be a good friend made a racist joke about Asian eyes and dental floss. I was inflamed! But she sat – quiet and still and oh-so-wise, in the puddle of ignorance, stupidity and pain this boy caused. She said, “I want to talk to him and explain why it was hateful and hurtful. He will understand and never do it again. I know he’s a good kid.” As her mother, I could only see red. Someone broke my daughter’s heart and made her question this world (once more), just so he could get laughs. 

And I knew. I knew the anger I felt was a false sense of power.Being angry makes you feel energized and ready to mobilize. But anger is fear on steroids.

“It is what it is” is not a rallying cry to be passive. It means,”what you see before you, IS.” 

When I was undergoing surgery for breast cancer, these five words were embodied in the doctor’s confident hands, the nurses’ night time vigil and my family and friends’ constant support. This IS the situation and we’re taking care of it right now.

It’s about accepting that which you cannot change. If you can’t change it, your anger and defiance – your energy – are wasted. You continually generate negativity.

In fact, acceptance is the first step to proactivity. Once you accept reality (that which IS, that which you cannot change), you can use your energy and creativity to begin to make steps to exact change. A couple of wise friends of mine often say, “This, too, shall pass.” Everything is impermanent. Accept each season.

 

It’s OK

We all ought to be more like dogs, if we want to live joyful lives and be good people.

“I can’t walk you this morning, I’m running late.”

“It’s OK.”

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I’ll just do Down Dog, then.

“You will have to be all alone today, for 9 hours. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK.”

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I’ll take a nap.

 

“We ran out of your favorite treats, so no treats for you today.”

“It’s OK. I can still rub my back on the carpet and meditate.”

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I love this rug.