presence

Choose Humanity

 

“Just because I am homeless doesn’t mean I haven’t got a heart, or I’m not human still.”

Stephen Jones, Homeless man who helped victims of the Manchester Arena bombing (Ariana Grande’s concert).

Stephen Jones could have run for safety. Instead, he stayed put amid the chaos of the bombing and pulled nails out of the faces of and arms of children.

Choosing humanity over barbarism isn’t always so dramatic.  We can make this choice each day. We can give 100% focus to the person in front of us. We can speak with kindness and patience. We can take care of ourselves (diet, sleep, exercise) so that we are able to give more to our families. We can choose to do better when we know better.

We can begin now.

 

 

 

Shrink the Critic

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by Farrel Nobel

I was eating in a Phoenix cafe at an open window. A very good-looking family of five walked past the window: mother, father, three small children. The father, dressed in expensive athletic wear (his shoes alone must have cost at least $300), stopped and pointed at a man across the street.

He gestured at a homeless man who was walking and muttering to himself. The wife nodded in agreement to whatever her husband said to her and they laughed as they went on their way.

The young father was judging a man who was clearly struggling by society’s standards. Why? Because the father’s ego was projecting a defense mechanism. Somewhere along the way, this man suffered an emotional injury. He hasn’t worked to defuse his pain (and accompanying anger) and is now spewing his garbage onto his family.

According to Mindful.com, the cure for the critic is to sit and examine your judgmental thoughts. Be aware of your thoughts. Take responsibility for them. Get to the heart of the matter. Defuse your pain and focus on gratitude. You’ll be happier and your loved ones will, too.

 

 

Shopping with Others

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I’m grocery shopping on a Saturday morning.

It’s crowded and I’m behind two elderly ladies who are walking slowly. I want to go faster. I feel anxious. But I keep frustration at bay. When the lane clears, I will get past them. Besides, someday, I, too, will have white hair, age spots and arthritis. They are cute. Are they sisters?

Suddenly, someone sighs heavily behind me. His cart dashes passed me and then passed the ladies, to our left. He is a very fit and tan man in his thirties.  Swiftly, he parks his cart in front of the glass doors, reaches for yogurt and throws it into his cart. He scurries out of sight.

How dare he! He could hurt someone! What a menace…

My indignation softens.  I actually feel sorry for him.  He’s in some kind of pain which manifests itself this way. If he was happy, he wouldn’t act that way.

Choosing to see him in this light, my anger dissolves.

 

 

Classy

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by Danielle MacInnes

It’s not what you do, but how you do what you do.

She reluctantly volunteered to host the party. And then she complained and stressed about it for months. At last, the day arrived. She greeted the guests with a weary smile and they didn’t feel welcome at all. In fact, a good number of them wanted to leave right right away.  Her mood colored the evening a dirty gray.

As the party ended, she uttered aloud, “Thank goodness it’s over!”

The guests felt the same way.

All that time, energy, and money wasted.

If you don’t want to do it. Don’t.

If you have to do it, then accept it. Accept the situation completely.

But if you can, enjoy doing it. Spread love, not regret.

 

 

 

 

 

Focal Point

 

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Taking a good picture with a manual camera requires forethought, patience and careful calibration. You choose what you take a picture of  – that is, you choose what you focus on.

You also choose what you focus to think about.  There is new scientific data that shows people who choose to meditate and/or think positively have increased plasticity of their brains. That is, they have strong external and internal networks in their brains. External networks light up when people think about external tasks and internal networks refer to matters that “involve themselves or emotions.”

Buddhist monks meditate and direct their minds to think compassionate thoughts and positive reflections. They purposely think this way.

Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist who ironically, suffered a brain hemorrhage. It (temporarily) disabled her ability for language and logic. With that, she was left with a dominant right hemisphere brain: creativity, intuition and imagination. She was happy. She was completely present and non-judgmental. All her thinking (and worrying) ceased. She had no negative thoughts! As her left brain recovered, she made up her mind (haha) to never go back. She chooses to think happy thoughts and to be blissful.

How do you do this?

Bolte Taylor says, “When you find yourself thinking negatively, it feels bad in your body. As soon as you feel it happening, think about something else!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting Pain

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No longer mine – can’t carry you anymore,

you’ll stumble, fall and eventually – soar,

As your path widens and grows long,

I realize how I was so very wrong

 

 

You take your steps while I watch

sometimes wincing

Your self-determination can be dreadful

yet entirely convincing

It’s fast becoming apparent

that your flubs and whims aren’t errant

You don’t own reasons for my heart breakin’

for I never “owned” you, in that, I was mistaken

The Light in Your Eyes

Our guide informs us about American history and politics, sprinkling jokes and anecdotes as the bus rolls from one museum to another.

He’s always smiling with a light in his eyes.

On Day One, he asked me how to pronounce my name. Ever since then, he has called me by name (voice booming with cheer) when he addresses me. 

He loves his job, you might surmise.

He loves his life.

Undoubtedly,  you’ve met someone like him. Always smiling,  never complaining. Joyful. 
It’s an attitude that pervades his life and affects every person he meets. The common cold… the flu and attitudes are all contagious.  

What are you spreading?