Although we called our kids several times, it was a wonderful opportunity to splurge on ourselves and talk and laugh uninterrupted. We didn’t cook or clean. We did not run errands. We simply enjoyed each other’s company and relaxed.
…because what you focus on GROWS!
It’s easy to complain and not realize it. Some believe that venting is healthy. It can even become a bonding experience: sharing complaints with your co-workers can provide a false sense of camaraderie. The problem is, it can become a habit and then become a part of your personality.
You don’t want to be that person!
Be firm and let people know your boundaries, but…
Focus, instead, on what you DO want. And get going!
If you make “friends” with your fears and “problems,” then everything will be peaceful and you’ll be truly happy. This is easier than you think: You just need to have an open mind and try.
When I was five and my sister was four, our babysitter watched us coloring in our coloring books. Where my sister stayed within the lines, I colored slightly (OK, maybe not so slightly) outside the lines. “JoAnne colors nicely and Caroline needs to work on that a little bit.” Her sarcasm was not lost on me, even then.
This bit of criticism colored my world (pardon the pun!) “I am not a good artist.” This was just something I accepted for many years. But I’ve always longed to draw and paint. For someone with no formal art education, I think I am pretty OK. I think I can improve and I very much want to improve.
Thanks to Carol Dweck, we can all sigh optimistically now.
For eons, people believed in the “Fixed Mindset” – that talents are innate and readily apparent; Believers assert that one should avoid mistakes and failures. In fact, if you find yourself failing at something, people who adopt the “fixed mindset” philosophy say you ought to just quit, because clearly, it’s not for you.
But Dweck, one of the leading researchers of motivation, discovered the truth about achievement and learning: The Growth Mindset. She says you learn from mistakes. You grow! Intelligence and talent are developed and in order to be successful, you must make mistakes. Clearly, this is true. The Wright brothers did not discover how to create a plane on the first attempt and Edison did not discover the light bulb on his first try, either. One needs to make mistakes to learn, grow and achieve.
Growth Mindset believers say “yet” is the magic word. I can’t draw well yet, but with consistent practice and quality education, I will!
Check out her website: mindsetonline.com. It includes a test to determine where you are on the mindset continuum and ways to change it.
I’m going to start drawing lessons (free) on skillshare.com. Go Growth Mindset!
Photo by Milos Tonchevski
I have a desert garden in my backyard. A beloved neighbor gave us all of her potted plants when she moved out of state and the plants have thrived. This year, some new wildflowers grew next to the pots. They’re not related to any of the potted plants and they are not being irrigated. Yet, they continue to grow beautifully on the little rain they get.
People can be like wildflowers. They are transplanted from some other place and they just grow. They take advantage of the resources available. They don’t ask permission. They don’t shrink because the other plants were there first.
They are beautiful in their uniqueness, their peculiarity, and their originality.
We can all be like wildflowers: wild, courageous, strong and proud.
Be like a wildflower. Don’t look for approval or acceptance. Hold your head up high.
Photo by Stephen Di Donato
Approximately 50% of the population makes New Year’s resolutions. Of them, only 10% realize their goals (Psychology Today).
To make major changes in your life, you need to make some bold moves. But “bold” does not mean drastic and sudden. I like to think of being bold as “being courageous” and embracing a level of discomfort in order to grow.
Waking up a half hour earlier than usual and walking for 30 minutes might be uncomfortable, but doing so on a consistent basis for six months or more will undoubtedly result in favorable change.
One of the main reasons people don’t reach their goals is because they set unrealistic objectives. They plan on making radical changes through extreme acts. In reality, all it takes is a bit of courage to expand one’s comfort zone and to do it consistently…kind of like erosion: slow and steady.
One of my goals with this blog is to write frequently in order to hone my writing skills. In doing so, I vowed to write original work and to avoid merely re-posting the work of others.
However, I love THIS WEBSITE so much, I need to share it with you:
Reading or watching the news lately has left me feeling a bit anxious. An instant spirit lift is this website. It’s news, but it’s all GREAT news. They cover individuals who are making a difference in their communities: city, county, country and the world. I recommend subscribing to this gem so that you get a bit of non-fiction inspiration daily.
Have a great Make it a great day!