Author: chungwipff

Japanese Ritual Suicide – Power of Culture

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Bilocal Culture Crossing

 

“Seppuku” is a traditional, excruciatingly painful and public way to commit suicide in Japan. It has not been displayed since World War II,  but was widely observed and expected in Japanese culture up until then. Ingrained in Japanese culture is the concept of shame and the expectation of suicide in the face of that shame. In fact, it was not only men who committed suicide (sometimes through disembowelment), but their wives would commit suicide should their husbands have brought shame to their house.

You may have heard of honor killings in India and Pakistan. This, too, is part of their culture. With Internet and social media, some cultures are changing. Closed cultures are opening up due to their youth using social media. They no longer want to embrace these traditions.

Yet, it speaks to the power of culture. Disembowelment? Kill your sister? If your culture dictates that it is right, you will do it, no problem.

Leadership is so critical because leaders help create and maintain culture. An exceptional leader inspires employees and societies. Leaders help create strong, empathic cultures. Thus, it is critical to choose our leaders carefully.

 

The Fugitive

 

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Josie 7/20/16

 

Come! Impropriety reigns

Spouse and children have left

oh fleeting moment of depravity (!)

shall we imbibe spirits? Cuddle on the couch?

 

You invade my thoughts all day

incompartible, inutterable desire!

unattached companions are baffled

their tastes run contrary

 

Ah! You play hard-to-get!

Your presence is fleeting

 

My tall, dark and silent one

we bid adieu until the next occasion

hauls the rest of the motley crew away

and quietude – sweet serenity – alights

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Purpose Vs. Passion

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I just listened to a great podcast with Brian Johnson and Ryan Holiday (The Ego is the Enemy). One great take away (out of many) was the idea that using purpose as fuel for motivation is much more powerful and longer lasting than “passion.”

Often, you’ll hear that you need to find your passion. And that the passion will ensure that you reach your goals. But I’m sure you’ve had days where you didn’t feel that passion and then….you find yourself watching TV or Internet surfing or going out for drinks with friends instead of working on your “passion.”

If you focus on your purpose instead, your motivation goes deeper.

Let’s try an example. Let’s say you feel your passion is music. You practice your instrument and tell yourself that, at last, you’ve found your passion. At last! Now your life has meaning. You practice every single day, happy to be known as The Musician. You audition for a group and you don’t make it. What? But it’s your passion. How could this happen? You practice some more. Audition again. With each rejection, your resolve fades. Maybe this isn’t what you’re supposed to do…maybe you aren’t passionate enough.

But what if you tell yourself that your purpose is to play your best music and bring happiness to others through music? Yes, this is my purpose, you say. So you practice. You audition for parts and you do your very best. You don’t make it. That’s okay, you say. I’m going to keep playing and I’m going to play at the Alzheimer’s home each Saturday, because they always enjoy it. With each audition, you get better. At last, you make it. But you have felt joy all along, because you knew what your purpose was and it was detached from ego.

Purpose is more pure and more enduring than passion as a motivator (but there’s nothing wrong with having both)!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’ll Cure You of Disease”

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The girls (13 and 14) have had their eyes glued to their iPhones. Literally, they can be on Instagram and chat for hours at a time. I get it: It’s 110 degrees outside and you can only swim in our pool for so long. And they are practicing their violins for 60 to 90 minutes each day. If I ask, they fold laundry, take out the garbage and vacuum. That still leaves many hours in the day. They can sit for that long, watching videos, reading other people’s feeds and chatting with friends. Josie is just getting into Pokemon and asks for us to drive her around. I refuse. We tried it last night and I guess the server crashed (?) So No Pokemon Go. I consider this THE disease of their generation: apathy brought on by technology.

Fed up, I took their phones last night. They squawked. And then they went to bed. With the phones in my room, they knew better than to reach for them in the morning. Ava swam 30 laps straight away. Then they made themselves some breakfast. And then I asked them to peel, core and cut up 7 large apples for our apple crisp. They did a beautiful job.  I had Josie organize photos and papers for me while Ava completed making the crisp. “What else, mom?” Fold some laundry.

The girls are into 21 Pilots. We marvel at how distinctly different each of their songs are. We could hear a bit of Bob Marley, Red Hot Chili Peppers, maybe even some Bob Dylan.

“I love how they create so many different sounding songs.” Ava said.

“Yeah, I imagine they listen to a wide range of artists and then are influenced by them. They study what they like. You know, Ava, you play a lot of classical music, but that doesn’t mean you have to only play classical. You can let 21 Pilots influence you too.”

Ava agreed.

“I’m going to compose this song House of Gold and make the harmony for Josie, too.”

While Josie did my makeup (she insisted, I capitulated), Ava listened to the recording and replayed it on her violin. Then she got the computer and re-created the notes on a music software program, MuseScore.

Josie swam 30 laps.

They practiced violin.

We went to Target and came home. They got to be on phones for a bit.

Ava resumed working on the song.

It was a fantastic day. Tyler Joseph cured the disease!

Sunday Funnies #5 – Denied!

Suze Orman and the Elf School

I am a fan of Suze Orman. I take satisfaction in her uncensored and liberal judgment: “Denied!” Let’s face it, callers voluntarily provide her personal financial information and then ASK for her opinion. I love that she provides a quick (yet thorough enough) analysis and then passionately approves or denies the caller’s dream.

Watching Ms. Orman’s face as the caller describes the “elf” school she wants to attend (below) is priceless.

 

You’re welcome.

Songs in the Car

 

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Josie and I are in the car.  “Because of You ” by Kelly Clarkson comes on. I sing a long.

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afrai

“She’s so whiny,” Josie says.

“I love her voice,” I say.

 

And then Maroon 5’s  “Wake Up Call” comes on.

Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
Don’t you care about me anymore?
Don’t you care about me?
I don’t think so.

“He’s so  whiny!” I mock.

Six foot tall
Came without a warning, so I had to shoot him dead
He won’t come around here anymore
Come around here?
I don’t think so.

“He took action,” she says.

By the way, Kelly Clarkson wrote “Because of You” when she was 16. It’s about her father, who abandoned his family when she was six years old.

Teacher Pay and Conditions

 

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Seems pretty trivial these days, what with terrorism, gun violence and dirty politics in the news, but teacher pay in America is still dismal.

The world looks to Finland when it comes to education, yet their teacher pay is about average in the world. America pays teachers less than Finland does – less than the average. Not only that, teaching is prestigious in Finland, the teachers are well-respected by everyone. Observe a class in a public high school here and I doubt you would find a high level of respect coming from students to teacher.

This article, written by Dick Startz (Professor of Economics, UC Santa Barbara), outlines the issues with underpaying teachers. Yes, many teachers in the United States love their job. They teach very well, despite the low pay. But maybe there are other people out there – highly qualified, passionate educators – who do not pursue teaching because the of the low salary.

There is a lot of waste of money in education. Nearly 50% of all teachers in the United States quit within the first five years of teaching. It’s not simply a question of salary. Teachers – especially math teachers – feel a lack of classroom autonomy. Autonomy is essential for satisfaction in ANY job. But if you couple a low salary with lack of independence, it’s a career killer.

We have a lot of work to do. We need to demand equal rights for all, we need to have gun control and we need to fix broken systems. Give teachers more respect, equitable pay, and more autonomy in the classroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Finish Strong?

 

“Finish strong!”

If you’ve ever run a marathon (or half of one)….

or participated in a fitness class….

You hear this exclamation: Finish strong!

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Lifehacker.com (Josie is on vacation)

But why finish strong? Do people just say it so you don’t quit?

What’s wrong with 80 or 90% completion? Running 80% of a marathon is still running 20.96 miles. That’s a really long distance. Most people would commend you just for that. Most people would say you’re a super star. Most people don’t even give 50%.

But you would know you quit.

You would know that you didn’t quite finish.

And then you’ve created a bit of distrust in yourself.

When you create distrust (in yourself), you create self-doubt. And then you are less likely to take risks or complete tasks.

So, it’s important that you finish strong. A lot rides on it!