The Compost in My Garden

compost [kom-pohst]

1.a mixture of various decaying organic substances, as dead leaves or manure, used for fertilizing soil.*

Every green thumb gardener knows that her garden needs rich soil in order to grow bright, brilliant plants. Compost enriches soil but it is stinky and takes time to degrade and cultivate. The compost of my life’s garden (thus far) consists of (but is not limited to):

Kids taunting me with “chink” when I walked home from school
Every grade I ever received other than an “A”
my first heartbreak
the deaths of my grandparents, sister-in-law and friends
breast cancer and the six surgeries that followed
every awful job and boss I ever had
every workout that pushed me to the brink of insanity
the police officer at my high school football game who hatefully asked me if I speak English
scooter/car accident right before my wedding (I had to wear a leg brace under my wedding dress)
my mentor’s suicide

Let us not dwell on our past, but let us celebrate our survival. It is pain and loss that molds us into the strong people we are.

Resources:

*Dictionary.com

unsplash.com

Terms and Conditions

When you buy a new cell phone with service or sign up with WordPress, you have to sign a contract called “Terms and Conditions” regarding use. Basically, you agree to a set of rules and guidelines in order to use the app/website/service. What they don’t say is that they want to make clear the limits of your use. If you go over certain minutes, a fee is charged. If you call across state lines, another fee. If you don’t pay on time…you get the picture.

As you live your life, you have your own set of Terms and Conditions. There are things you won’t do (most of us won’t risk prison in order to steal groceries). And there are things you will do (work a steady 9 to 5 for a paycheck instead of pursuing your dream of entrepreneurship). You have set limits in how you live your life. Some are important, but others may require re-thinking.

Your life, as it is now, is what you’ve chosen.

It’s an amalgam of your life circumstances and your choices, certainly. But your decisions have been the forks of your life which led you here.

You might argue. You may deny.

But it’s true. And the first step in making things better is to take responsibility for your actions. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

Secondly, be grateful. You are fortunate. If you’re reading this, you have access to the Internet. When you live in a state of gratitude, you’re more likely to attract positivity.

Thirdly, be aware that YOU set the Terms and Conditions of your life.

Don’t like your job? Leave. But, I have to pay the bills….I didn’t get a college degree.

Excuses.

Your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is abusive? Leave. But I’m afraid…I don’t want to be alone.

Get over it. (And really, you’d rather be with someone who calls you names than be alone?)

What are the Terms and Conditions of your life? Are any of them limiting you?

You

You are not your body.

You are not your thoughts.

You are the presence of these things.

Go ahead with your ambition, but be easy with it. Be calm and unattached. If the world seems too noisy, too loud and obnoxious, then get quiet. Be still.

Allow fear to dissipate before you take action.

You Be You

It’s cliche – “Just be yourself.”

Most of us don’t really know what that means, or we believe that “being ourselves” isn’t good enough for xyz.

But if you focus on just being the best you that you can be, you’ll find that you naturally are more innovative, creative, original. Because you’re not expending any energy to fit a mold or be like someone else.

So, think outside the box. But look within.

First Things First

Life happens. Your best laid plans can go awry. And that’s OK.

Make sure you schedule the most important thing for the first thing – so you increase the chances of getting it done.

It’s winter, so it’s dark and cold in the morning. But I force myself out of bed, don my workout clothes, and exercise before I face my students. Working out gets my endorphins going and I feel calm the rest of the day. Just about anything can happen and I’ll feel capable of handling it.

“First things first,” is what Stephen Covey always espoused. It’s all about priorities.

What’s the most important thing for you to do tomorrow? How can you ensure that it happens?

How to Control Your Motivation

When I was in 6th grade, I learned about the push and pull factors for migration. People who migrated because their country was in a war, for example, migrated for “push” reasons. They were pushed out: Food, jobs, and security were scarce.

Most people who came to America during the Gold Rush came for “pull” factors: the opportunity for wealth, better living conditions and greater security.

When it comes to your personal motivation, are you being driven from something or toward something? Being driven to eat better and exercise because you had a heart attack (push) is mighty powerful, but so is choosing a better lifestyle because you want more energy and you want to live longer.

If you want to be motivated to make a change, consider the possible push and pull factors. Make a list – make it specific – and exhaust the possibilities.

The Paradox of People

Gun sales have dropped since we elected a President who supports gun rights.

When you’re always available to talk to your crush, he doesn’t really want to talk to you.

Telling people what to do often results in rebellion.

Trying hard to fit in will get you kicked out.

Not getting the results you want with people? Maybe you just need to relax.

Life is…

What do you think life is? Your answer will tell alot about you and how you live your life.

Is life a game? Are there winners and losers? Are you trying to win? This philosophy always reminds me of the quote:

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you‘re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin

I consider life to be an adventure. You simply can’t predict what will happen, but you can go forth with an attitude of openness and wonder. Embrace what comes to you and know that everything (“good” or “bad”) is temporary.

Brick by Brick

Let’s say your life is a small house made of brick. Each day is one brick. Is any day really more important than another? How would you feel if you realized, at the end of construction, that most of those bricks were spent worry, hurrying, or wishing for the one Vacation Day brick…or the Promotion Day brick? Pretty silly, eh?

Conversely, what kind of house – life – would you have if each day (brick) was spent in full presence? What if you placed each brick carefully, lovingly and enjoyed the process?

Each brick is important, but the most important one is the one you’re laying down right now.

Just Try

You can do it if you believe you can.

Do you believe you can? Yes. Great!

Go for it!

What could possibly happen?

Kismet

Daily Practice

Personal Success