positive psychology

The Compost in My Garden

chloe-si-39644.jpg

compost [kom-pohst]

1.a mixture of various decaying organic substances, as dead leaves or manure, used for fertilizing soil.*

Every green thumb gardener knows that her garden needs rich soil in order to grow bright, brilliant plants. Compost enriches soil but it is stinky and takes time to degrade and cultivate. The compost of my life’s garden (thus far) consists of (but is not limited to):
  • Kids taunting me with “chink” when I walked home from school
  • Every grade I ever received other than an “A”
  • my first heartbreak
  • the deaths of my grandparents, sister-in-law and friends
  • breast cancer and the six surgeries that followed
  • every awful job and boss I ever had
  • every workout that pushed me to the brink of insanity
  • the police officer at my high school football game who hatefully asked me if I speak English
  • scooter/car accident right before my wedding (I had to wear a leg brace under my wedding dress)
  • my mentor’s suicide

 

Let us not dwell on our past, but let us celebrate our survival. It is pain and loss that molds us into the strong people we are.

 

 

Resources:

*Dictionary.com

unsplash.com

 

 

7 Benefits to Gratitude

 

photo-1474226004578-62743874270f

 

Practicing gratitude improves your life in a multitude of ways.  According to Amy Morin, a psychological business writer for Forbes.com, reflecting on all that you have to be grateful for benefits you in the following ways:

  1. Opens the door to more relationships.
  2. Improves your physical health (fewer aches and pains)!
  3. Improves your psychological health (reduces your emotional toxins)!
  4. Enhances empathy and reduces aggression.
  5. Helps you sleep better.
  6. Improves your self-esteem.
  7. Increases mental strength.

 

Reflecting on gratitude is a form of living in presence.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

 

 

 

 

Make Your Own Motivational Poster: Tip #9

 

The final tip Daniel Pink offers in his book Drive is to Create Your Own Motivational Poster. I know, it sounds lame, but I played around with it and it’s incredibly fun.

Try these sites:

http://diy.despair.com/

http://bighugelabs.com/motivator.php

wigflip.com/automotivator/

I made my Kismet poster using bighugelabs.com. It was very easy.

Try it!

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #8

Here is a smart and simple exercise for assessing whether you’re on the right road to autonomy, mastery and purpose in your life from Alan Webber, Fast Magazine cofounder.

Get a few index cards. On one card, write your response to this question:What gets you up in the morning? On the other side of that card, write “What keeps you up at night?”

Keep each answer to one sentence. Stop when each gives you a sense of “meaning and direction.” Now you have something to use as your personal compass. Check in to see if they remain true. If not, ask yourself what you’re going to do about it.

 

Pink, D. H. (2009). Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us. New York, NY: Riverhead Books.

 

 

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #7

Daniel Pink’s Drive shows that mastery requires “deliberate practice” which is not simply consistency of work, but “very purposeful, focused and…painful” work.

Five steps to mastery:

  1. Deliberate practice includes changing your performance and setting new goals, not simply doing the same thing over and over again (Pink, 158).
  2. Repetition matters. “Basketball greats don’t shoot ten free throws…they shoot five hundred.”
  3. Seek constant, critical feedback.
  4. Focus on your weaknesses and how you can get better.
  5. Prepare for an arduously exhausting mental and physical process. This is why so few succeed. Not too many people commit this strongly. Will you?

 

 

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #6

Tip #6 from Daniel Pink’s Drive cannot be overstated: Just say no. Pink informs us that management guru Tom Peters creates a “To Don’t” list. These items zap energy and time away from goals.

In today’s fast-paced, highly-distractable world, staying on point is an obstacle in and of itself.

“What you decide not to do is probably more important than what you decide to do.”

Tom Peters

Make a list of what detracts from your goals and work. Web-surfing? Netflix? Cleaning? Responding to emails? Don’t do it!

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #5 (Daniel Pink)

Pink suggests that you get unstuck by “going oblique.” In the 1970’s, Producer Brian Eno and artist Peter Schmidt created a deck of cards that contained strategies to overcome stress and being “stuck” creatively. They called it “Oblique Strategies.”

You can purchase this deck of cards for $500 or used ones for $65 or you can get some great examples for free, here.

I think the bottom line is to “jolt” you out of your rut.

Maybe a deck of cards containing oblique strategies doesn’t do much for you.

For me,  visiting an art gallery or going to a live music event will inspire me to “break the walls” to creativity. Perhaps reading the biography of someone you admire will do it for you, or maybe a weekend trip to a cabin with no technology.

It will be different for everyone. Just make sure it’s in your arsenal of tools for work.

 

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #3 (Daniel Pink)

After you ask the Big Question, you need to ask the small question:

“Was I better today than I was yesterday?”

Did you do more?

Did you do it well?

Monitoring day-by-day success ensures you will reach your goal long-term.

 

 

Source: Drive by Daniel Pink, pages 155-156