simplicity

Wishes

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When I was very young (maybe five years old),  my mother made rings out of dandelions. She’d pluck the weed and create a knot with the stem and, smiling, put the ring on my finger. I felt special and lucky. Within hours, the dandelion wilted, the yellow flowers tinged with brown. It was my first lesson of impermanence.

We were poor and a part of me knew it, but mostly, I was blissfully ignorant. I reveled in the smell of burning wood in the Iowa autumn. I loved the dandelion rings my mother made and I loved watching “The Muppets” on TV. All of this was (relatively) free. I thought everyone had a father who came home exhausted and discouraged. I thought everyone shared one bathroom in their family. I thought everyone fought over money.

I’m a lot older now and I have learned this: wishing for “stuff” always leads to disappointment. Nothing you can buy will deliver anywhere near the satisfaction of smelling burning wood on a Midwest autumn evening, or watching the “Muppets” on a chilly Halloween night or wearing a dandelion ring your mother makes just for you.

Nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Magnificence of Margins (Or, Superb Space)

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Pablo Garcia, Mexico – Unsplash.com

On a document, we have margins or space to define boundaries between text and the edges of the paper. It’s aesthetically pleasing. It the words went to the edges of the paper, we’d find it a bit distracting and perhaps difficult to read.

Space devoid of things or noise or thoughts can bring joy, calm and purpose.

When you complain to me, if I take the space of time to process it before I respond, I’ll probably come up with something more equanimous than if I reacted immediately.

A room cluttered with things might bring a sense of anxiety or disgust.

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If you clean it up and there is physical space to sit, lie down, and walk, it will be a more welcoming room.

When I meditate, I am focusing my attention on my breath. This allows me to not think any thoughts. The more I practice this, the easier it is for me to enter this state of space and calm. This is good. When something bad happens, I do not need to react. Also, when a good thing happens, there is no need to go crazy. “This, too, shall pass” means life is a rollercoaster and the secret to happiness is to not react to the crazy.

 

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Subscriptions

When I was sixteen, I subscribed to “Cosmopolitan” Magazine. I was young and dumb. I spent good money to receive a thick magazine full of ads and editorials, telling me the definition of beauty was to be rail thin. It advertised things that were well out of my reach money-wise. It did very little for me.

Since then, I’ve gotten wiser. I subscribe to “Sunset Magazine” which touts itself as the premier home and living magazine of the West. I learn about great shops and restaurants, home decor ideas, ideal plants for my yard, and time-saving (yet delicious) recipes. Most of the information provides timeless value.

Subscriptions should provide benefits. It should feel like a gift. When you subscribe to blogs, newsletters, magazines, wine of the month clubs, etc. where you pay ahead of time (if at all) and receive something on a regular basis, it ought to leave you happy and grateful, like a present.

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As the year comes to a close, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate your subscriptions. What’s automatically coming to your door or inbox? Does it provide value and joy? Does it fulfill someone else’s purpose or yours?

 

 

 

 

Something Like That

funnyBeen in need of levity and I got it. Purchased nice gifts for JiMin’s farewell party and had an impulse buy of red, wax lips. These are awesome! JiMin took great pictures of herself and the girls. They laughed hysterically before the camera. We shall miss JiMin much. She’s been great with the girls, even if she can’t clean to save her life, much less cook!

I’m busy, busy, busy with several projects. I’m preparing for the educational aspect of my career the balance of May and all of June. I’m excited about teaching creative writing and even math (in a non-conventional way) to the little ones. July will be all about the writing. I love my story and am getting great ideas every day. JiMin has played a large role in that. All sorts of issues come out when you share living quarters with a foreign exchange student!

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How do you like this face? She’s been doing it all day. Very Margaret Cho!

The important thing is that you live each day as if it could be your last. Josie and Ava are hilarious. Truly.  I love having summers to spend with them and watch them grow and become big people. There was a program on TV about adoption. I asked Ava, “do you know what adoption is?” She replied confidently, “yes, it’s when you give your child away to some people who don’t know how to have babies…or….they look in the tummy to see if it’s there and it’s not, there’s no baby. Or something like that.”  Something like that indeed!  She started so self-assuredly and knew by the end that  maybe it wasn’t all correct. But shrugged her shoulders as if to say, “I’m smart and I know I have the gist of it.” Children have such a simplistic way of looking at things. I love it. As adults, we tend to look at things so seriously, with such finality and solemn sobriety. Puh-lease! And I say this mostly from personal experience…we’re too damn serious! Just play and work and hopefully, your work IS play. We’re paying people to work on our yard. We’ve never paid anyone to do anything in our yard or in our home and you know what? It’s nice.  It’s OK to not do everything yourself.  I’m finally learning that at 40.

I have many things on my “to do” list and they are all important. Yet, they are all unimportant too. Something like that.