Too often, we confuse “anger” with power. Anger is fear-based. It is never necessary.
Intelligent, creative action can only arise from calmness.
Whenever I give a knee-jerk reaction, I almost always regret it. Yet I’ve never regretted deleting theimpassioned email or biting my tongue until I can address the issue calmly.
Try this: Next time you are offended (which is just your perception of offensive behavior, by the way), do not react. Think about the action or words. Decide if they are true or not. And react calmly (e.g., “Interesting. No, I do not agree.” Or, “I think you might be right!“)
I am practicing something I’d like to share with you. It’s been so effective for me!
Eckhart Tolle advises that you do this in order to stop letting things and people bother you.
When faced with a comment, a gesture, or an event that upsets you, imagine yourself transparent and imagine this offending element going through you. It just goes through you. You don’t resist it, you don’t react, just let it go through you.
mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
“she accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity“
As I study “The Greats” of yoga and meditation, I run across this word a lot. It’s central to the philosophy of yoga. Deep breaths. Space. Equanimity.
For me, it’s connected to the Tao, the Middle Way. No extremes. Don’t over react to either end of the spectrum. This way, you can be happy no matter what.
Beware. Once you decide to be more equanamous, you will be challenged left and right. Just remember, nothing is that serious. Take a deep breath. Allow s-p-a-c-e between your reaction and whatever it is that is happening.
On a document, we have margins or space to define boundaries between text and the edges of the paper. It’s aesthetically pleasing. It the words went to the edges of the paper, we’d find it a bit distracting and perhaps difficult to read.
Space devoid of things or noise or thoughts can bring joy, calm and purpose.
When you complain to me, if I take the space of time to process it before I respond, I’ll probably come up with something more equanimous than if I reacted immediately.
A room cluttered with things might bring a sense of anxiety or disgust.
If you clean it up and there is physical space to sit, lie down, and walk, it will be a more welcoming room.
When I meditate, I am focusing my attention on my breath. This allows me to not think any thoughts. The more I practice this, the easier it is for me to enter this state of space and calm. This is good. When something bad happens, I do not need to react. Also, when a good thing happens, there is no need to go crazy. “This, too, shall pass” means life is a rollercoaster and the secret to happiness is to not react to the crazy.