



Today is my birthday.
I’m 51. 51 is the new 31. Look who else is 51: Will Smith, Hugh Jackman, Julia Roberts, Jimmy Kimmel, David Guetta, Kylie Minogue, and Vanilla Ice, people! I’m in good company. Jennifer Aniston is almost there and so is J. Lo.
I’ve decided to be proud of my age. It is what it is. How are we to be a society that embraces the elderly if we have shame just for living a long time? I’ve made it. I’ve had a couple close calls: a scooter accident in San Francisco….a blood clot post-labor 17 years ago…breast cancer…yet here I am. I’ve lost some loved ones this year (and in past years) and you know what? Life goes by fast. Live in a way so you won’t regret anything.
And I’m fit. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been mentally and physically. In my twenties, I thought it was most important to be thin. Now I see it’s most important to be strong.
I’m glad I’ve learned the lessons I’ve learned: Be present. Be open. Allow your children to be who they are. Love your job. Live well each day. Don’t take yourself – or anything -seriously.
Because your father and the Korean War
treated you mercilessly
you swallowed the hate, anger and resentment
with tiny grains of rice and near-clear broth
You read books and taught yourself
math – the universal language
you patched holes in your shoes and clothes
sewed extra material to your pant legs
With marriage and children, hunger multiplied
your craving for recognition and love
were bottomless pits of self-doubt
and utter darkness
You lashed out and your fears
masqueraded as control and power
launched your family away
but your heart cried
come back

Just emulating or channeling Roald Dahl’s illustrator, Sir Quentin Saxby Blake. I love his style and identify with it a lot.

This man. He is a dream come true. He flew with me from Arizona to Georgia. Packed up my mom’s belongings and loaded them on to the U-Haul. He drove for four days until we got home and get this: There was no cruise control in the truck!
And then he unloaded the truck and put the boxes in our garage. He returned it.
He’s nice to mom. He jokes with her, makes her feel welcome, and cheers her up when she’s sad about dad’s passing in July.
Today, he vacuumed and washed her car.
He is a generous spirit – with all of his family and friends. They know he would do anything for them. He is love personified.

We were completing her FAFSA (college financial aid) together last night. The 17-year old had to create answers to 5 security questions. The final one: Who is your best friend?
I wondered, will she say Bailee or Erin?
Her answer surprised me: “Ava.” Her sister.


“What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it? Orange juice. Why? Because that is what is inside. When you get squeezed – that is, when someone applies pressure on you – what comes out? Stress? Anger? Hatred? Fear? Frustration? Is it because of your boss? Never. Is it because of your mother? Your children? What comes out of you is always what is inside. It has nothing to do with the rest of the world. How does it get there? Only as you think.”

We stopped at a Starbucks in Memphis as we made our way home to Arizona. They had cut up cards into guitar picks. I was inspired to make a multimedia page in my journal.

“Doing what is right is rarely the same as doing what is safe.”
Dr. Edith Eva Eger, Holocaust Survivor, Psychologist, and Author of The Choice