Before I do – just so you know – most of my students got this answer correct (yes, I’m deflecting responsibility for this student’s response). The correct answer: Pilgrims, Separatists. I can only surmise this student did not study and was probably doodling or talking to a neighbor instead of listening.
Painting this in my kitchen was a delicious experience.
I love tiramisu. I love painting, drawing and writing. But I don’t do it as often as I like because I’m so “busy.” I know this is a cop out. I have plenty of time to write, draw, paint, play with my daughters, and eat tiramisu. So why don’t I do it more often?
Because I’m supposed to be working. Because there is a house to clean, people to feed, bills to pay and tiramisu has too many calories.
But….all of that is delicious! Playing Uno with my daughters is highly pleasing, writing this blog gives me joy, and eating tiramisu, well…it’s divine! Why do we (especially mothers) deprive ourselves of joy? Why do we allow other people and things to come before our own desires? We’re afraid of being called “selfish.” But I believe that if we are happy people, we will be all the better as mothers, wives, friends, teachers, nurses, lawyers, daughters, writers and whoever else we are.
So paint, do your yoga, change your job, say “no,” and eat dessert.
This is your life.
Screen time is commonly known as time spent on any electronic: TV, computers, tablets, hand held video games and even cell phones.
Josie, (aka Instagram Queen), was on my iPad scrolling and commenting on various pictures. Scroll, comment, scroll, comment. Ava was on her laptop watching YouTube videos of past and present winners of The Voice. They hardly looked up as I put my things away, changed my clothes and started dinner. I asked them how their day was, what happened in school…and they responded with grunts and monosyllabic answers: “Good, fine….” I noticed that I had to nudge and then nag them to practice violin, something they used to do more willingly.
So I made a decision. With husband’s agreement (it won’t work if only one parent is enforcing it), I decided to confiscate and hide all electronics until violin practice and homework had been completed. Do you know how hard it is to hide an 84″ flat screen TV? It worked. Ava completed her homework and violin practice and then played catch with Opal in the street. Josie completed all of her work and then picked up dog poo from the backyard! They conversed with me and I learned that Ava is very fond of her new friends Lucy and Caroline at school and Josie is frustrated that her math went from an A to a B.
Ahhhhhh! I had my family back! It felt mean and terrible to do, but I’m their mother, not their friend. I cannot allow them to become Screen Time Zombies in lieu of communicative students and daughters. I encourage you to try this, at the very least, put pass codes on your devices (I did!) and don’t allow them screen time until the work is done.
I couldn’t believe it. Where is the humanity? The abuse and absolute horrific treatment of North Korean civilians by their government is well-known so why would South Koreans greet them with anything but open arms? It’s clear that education and empathy are absent.
Enter an amazing South Korean TV program called, “Now On My Way to Meet You.” It’s an example of using media as a powerful medium for positive social change. The program first aired December of 2011 and, despite the tagline which alludes to “North Korean Beauties,” it does anything but objectify these escapees. You can read more about it and watch a clip here: Cari’s Blog. Basically, these women play games, laugh and recount their stories of life in North Korea for an enormous South Korean audience. The result? An empathetic reaction where South Koreans are understanding and seeing these women as people. The culture is slowly evolving into a supportive, loving one towards their sisters and brothers.
I have numerous cousins, aunts and uncles who live in South Korea and I have visited the country three times. In 1999, I was there for two months on an NSF research grant and I fell in love with the land and people. As news of the ferry disaster unfolded, there was a collective sigh of exasperation, shock, and anger all around me. How could this happen? The students were told to stay put? Why?!
If my father had not decided to immigrate to the United States, I could have been born and raised in South Korea. In fact, if that had happened, I would likely have been married with children a bit earlier (and who knows?) I could have had a high school student on the ill-fated Sewol ferry and be mourning his/her death right now. These connections and possibilities only make me ponder our roles in life. I’m a teacher and I’m proud of it because I can actually impact 32 young people per year. But… can I do more? The producer of “On My Way to Meet You” has created such a critical solution to an enormous problem. What if we all stopped asking why and started asking how? HOW can I help this situation? I think it’s a powerful question.
When I heard her stir, I’d come into the room and sing, “Good morning, my beautiful child!” I’d make up my own lyrics and melody, and she stood there, hands on the rails, lips pouting, curly hair flip flopped about her head. Then she’d lisp, “No thinging! No thinging!” I’d stop singing and carry her out of the crib. She had the Terrible Twos something bad. She threw temper tantrums daily and her jealousy of her newborn sister was immense. Finally, after a week of this, I decided I couldn’t be bossed around by my own toddler. I sang my song and she demanded I stop. This time, I answered, “Josie, it’s morning. I love you and I’m the mommy and you’re the baby and I’m going to sing if I want to and you’re not going to tell me no.” So I resumed singing. She stared at me incredulously. “NO! NO THINGING! NO THINGING!” She started to jump up and down, hands still on the rails. As she came down, her chin hit the rail and she bit her tongue. She cried her little lungs out. “Uh, I will come back later.” I told her. I felt the Mom Guilt all the time. Poor Josie was left to her own devices while I changed Ava’s diaper, 
fed Ava, took naps. I’d have to hand Josie off to her father a lot.
To this day, we rarely spend one on one time together. But today, I offered to go shoe shopping with the girls and Ava wanted to stay home while Josie wanted to go with me. So off we went. She found a red pair of Keds with wide ribbons. We joked around a lot. We laughed and ate chocolate. We bought a gift for friends who are expecting a baby, a baby carrier that can be worn in the front or as a backpack. I held my babies that same way frequently, enjoying their little bodies laying against mine, while I dusted furniture.
Josie wanted to hold my hand as we walked through the mall, this twelve year old who is now a half inch taller than me. I reveled in it, for I wondered, “At what age will she find it embarrassing to hold my hand?” She wanted nothing more than to just be with me. I’m a lucky mom.
Sitting at a student’s soccer game
family in tow
a three year old comes to pet Opal
Ofal?
No honey, Opal
I like Ofal – she’s black
Actually, she’s black and white
Ofal is black and wipe
Black and white
I like Ofal! She’s black and wipe!
1 [boo
l-ee] Show IPA noun, plural bul·lies.
1. a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates
smaller or weaker people.
2. Archaic. a man hired to do violence.
*www.dictionary.com
the action(s). We (society) are more apt to think of ways to prevent bullying or solve the problem if we understand the cause and include it in the definition.
I was relieved, but wondered, “Is she really OK?” I had been asking her all week if there was something wrong, she hadn’t talked about her friends in a couple weeks. She said everything was fine. This is not like her, to hide such things from me. With the Internet, smart phones and tablets, it’s all too easy to carry on several conversations at once, even destructive ones. We must remain diligent in our efforts to fight bullying, but it has to start with the bullies. Parents need to be crystal clear in what is acceptable and what is not. One student has apologized, but her did not communicate anything to us or our daughter. She simply allowed her daughter to say, “I’m sorry.” As I told Ava, “Actions speak louder than words.” We shall see how things go.
Ira Glass says the key to success is plain old hard work. Keep working, don’t think too much about it. FINISH! And I’ve always wanted to be able to draw or paint and I know I’m not good at it – YET. So I sat down despite all the “work” I have to do (lesson plans, consulting work, a short story I want to finish) and I made art. It barely looks like opal. When I showed it to Josie, she said, “Um, I like the colors.” Ava hugged me because the criticism stung so badly.
But I shall persevere.
We traveled to meet up with my brother, his lovely wife and my adorable niece. This was an auspicious visit as I had my mother in tow! She was looking forward to spending a few days with three of her five grandchildren. The first day was spent at SeaWorld. No, I haven’t seen the Killer Whale documentary, but I’m grateful so many people did and decided to boycott the place. We didn’t have to wait in any lines!
It was pleasantly s p a c i o u s.
Next day, we went to the Air and Space Museum where Willey thoroughly enjoyed himself. Josie and Ava were at first bummed about being there, but quickly realized the hands on kids’ activities and we all experienced our first ever 4-D movie theater film! A series of four 5 minute roller coaster type animations were played and our chairs moved in tandem to the action. Literally, we felt we were on a roller coaster! Hungry, we made our way to downtown San Diego and thanks to Yelp, I found a Korean/Chinese/Japanese fusion restaurant. My mom had endured 48 hours of no rice at this point and she was melting. East Asian Diner was not so bad, we ate the hot pot rice dishes: beef and tofu. The kimchi was good and my mother was able to exhale at last.
Finally, we went to the beach down the street from our hotel. We love the great 
expanse of sand, ocean air and sun. The girls jumped right in, went as far as the surfers were, and tried to ride the waves, without boards. Willey and I took a walk, my mother watched on, worried and then walked the beach too.
If only I could bottle the experience, “eau de vacation.” It would smell like the ocean, kimchi and SeaWorld pizza. Ahhhh!
Kismet 