art, Health, motivation, Personal Success, relationships

Maternal Meditation

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Day 20 of 31 Day Painting Challenge (Creativebug.com)

Motherhood To Dos:

change their diapers

anticipate their needs

hug and kiss through tears

teach them to be strong

 

allow them to feel pain

buy them clothes

(and school supplies and prom tickets and flowers for their first crush)

listen as they complain about school, frenemies and hormones

 

bite your tongue when they complain about you

And that’s why there’s an “Om” in “Mom”

 

 

art, Personal Success, poetry, relationships

Beholden

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orchid doodle

 

I am grateful for the early morning intention

To feed my daughters earth’s fruits

At lunch when I am absent

my love is omnipresent

I am grateful for the pesky wind

That musses “perfect” hair

And shouts sweet nothings in my ears

All are signs that I’m alive

I am grateful for the cuts on my fingers

They scream silently as I work

scabs, wrinkles, dry cuticles – 

My hands are marked with ravages of time and labor

 

Personal Success

Ladies’ Weekend


Recently, I spent a weekend with my sister and sister-in-law at a spa resort. I have never done such a thing before and I do recommend it! 

Although we called our kids several times, it was a wonderful opportunity to splurge on ourselves and talk and laugh uninterrupted. We didn’t cook or clean. We did not run errands. We simply enjoyed each other’s company and relaxed. 

Personal Success

Ease Up

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photo by Clem Onojeghuo

I’ve mentioned a tense relationship between my daughter and me on this blog. It has gotten pretty distressing at times and when I decided to push my ego aside, I realized I had to surrender. Pestering was not working. I had reflected on my intention. Was my primary motive to help her be “successful” in life? Was hounding her to do homework and practice her violin most important? No. But that was what I was practicing.

I set my priorities clearly. First of all, she must know I love her unconditionally. Secondly, this is her life. I trust her with it. She knows what to do and if she doesn’t do it, she will have to face the consequences. That’s how she will grow. Throughout it all, I will love her, absolutely.

What I DO owe her is a happy mother. Every time I start to resort to my habit of nagging, I redirect my energies to what I want to do: plant lantana in the backyard (even in 100 degree heat), exercise, write, cook and so on.

Since I’ve put this practice in place, a magnificent event has occurred. We’ve become closer than ever. She wanted to get into shape. I took her to a fitness club. We signed her up for a four week membership (realizing there will be NO time for the gym once school starts). The club gave me a 2 week free pass. Organically…naturally…completely unplanned…I’ve become her trainer. We work out together and laugh and (sometimes) partake in junk food afterwards. There is ease and love where angst and friction once were. And if I ask her to do something, she does it. Most of the time. And that’s OK.

The intention came first. Space (a lot of it) came next. And then complete awareness and unconditional love.  I’d say this works for all relationships.

Personal Success, relationships

Thanks, Nora!

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Have you ever read something that was just what you needed to read?

I finished reading Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck. There is an essay/chapter within it titled “Parenting in Three Stages.”

“Adolescence comes as a gigantic shock to the modern parent, in large part because it seems so much like the adolescence you yourself went through. Your adolescent is sullen. Your adolescent is angry. Your adolescent is mean. In fact, your adolescent is mean to you.”

Back when they looked like this,

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I could ask them to make their beds and they’d respond with sweet laughter (even if they didn’t make their beds).

But now, they look more like this:

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YouTube

and if I ask them to do the smallest thing, fire comes out of their ears. They whine. They sigh heavily. They’re angry.

Thank you, Nora, for letting me know their behavior is normal. I can laugh it off now. Kinda.