My “Space” Experiment

We are all so busy with life: our work, family, and hobbies. My job is very noisy. I’m a teacher in an elementary/middle school and the hallways are filled with children yelling and laughing from very early morning until late afternoon. My students and I have lively discussions and then there are meetings after school. My fellow teacher (and friend!) and I are also sponsoring the school talent show – another boisterous endeavor.

When I get home, my husband and I discuss our day, my kids practice violin and tell us about their day. It’s all good, but…it’s challenging – to say the least – to get some quiet time. And I LOVE, love, love quiet time.

In addition to walking my dog after work and walking in middle of the day, I have started mini-meditations. In mini-meditation, I focus on my breathing. This might last 60 seconds or three minutes. I also meditate for 8 minutes in the morning right after waking.

Eckhart Tolle suggests the mini-meditations throughout the day in order to incorporate it as part of your “real” life and not as a compartmentalized portion of one’s life.

It makes sense.

I’ve noticed that since I’ve started this practice of incorporating space into my day, I am experiencing spontanenous moments of peace within chaos. Where I used to feel anxious or stressed, I feel calm and centered.

Aaaaah!

The journey takes up much more time than the destination. Shouldn’t you enjoy it?

The Non-Judgment Experiment

Animals and Zen masters are the most peaceful living creatures. They don’t judge.

I’ve noticed that I’m a lot more judgmental than I’d like to be. And this tendency is a formidable block to inner peace.

I’m on a self-imposed challenge: stop judging people. First, I must be aware of when I judge. It’s strongest when I’m driving. Wow! Do I have very negative thoughts! The good news is that it’s completely impersonal. I don’t know these people. But still…

Will you join me? Next time you’re in the company of one or more other people, notice your thoughts. Are you judging? Be aware. And then let it go. Don’t try to fight it. Just let it go. Just say to yourself, isn’t that interesting? My mind is judging.

As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.

Gandhi

When you change, your world will change.

Losing “Everything”

Ellen DeGeneres decided to come out of the closet in 1997. She was at the top of her game at the time, starring in her popular “The Ellen Show.”

Why did she take the risk? Because she felt it was important -and healthier – than living in fear or denial of who she really was. The “secret” made her feel as if she was wrong and she knew she was right.

So she came out as the real Ellen and then had her character come out on the show.

What happened?

She lost her show. No one would call her. She got no gigs.

Three years.

For three years, she was stripped of all the external factors of identity: no career or the benefits that come with it. Not only that, some of her previous fans berated her and judged her. Christian groups picketed her studio and mentioned God while acting very un-Christian. Studios wouldn’t touch her.

You realize who you really are when you don’t have anything. – Ellen

And then “Finding Dory” came along. Ellen also got her own new talk show. She’s immensely popular all over again. Only now, she has no secrets.

Does she regret coming out?

NOT AT ALL.

“It’s the best -because I’m free.

I’m completely able to be exactly who I am.”*

*http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2011/10/04/DeGeneres-doesnt-regret-coming-out-as-gay/74651317701340/

You

You are not your body.

You are not your thoughts.

You are the presence of these things.

Go ahead with your ambition, but be easy with it. Be calm and unattached. If the world seems too noisy, too loud and obnoxious, then get quiet. Be still.

Allow fear to dissipate before you take action.

First Things First

Life happens. Your best laid plans can go awry. And that’s OK.

Make sure you schedule the most important thing for the first thing – so you increase the chances of getting it done.

It’s winter, so it’s dark and cold in the morning. But I force myself out of bed, don my workout clothes, and exercise before I face my students. Working out gets my endorphins going and I feel calm the rest of the day. Just about anything can happen and I’ll feel capable of handling it.

“First things first,” is what Stephen Covey always espoused. It’s all about priorities.

What’s the most important thing for you to do tomorrow? How can you ensure that it happens?

Right Action

There is a lot of action being taken nowadays: marches, boycotts, and lawsuits. People are unhappy and want to take action. Action can be good. It sounds better than just sitting on your tush, complaining. Complaining is definitely not productive.

In your own life, you might be pondering an action to take: to breakup with a lover, to make a career change, or to move out of the country. You ask yourself, is it the right thing to do?

In Buddhism, there is a saying, “Make right action.” By “right,” it is meant ideal or wise. It is not meant to be taken as the opposite of the Western concept of “wrong.” It means your decision comes from a place of calm, peace and compassion. And by action, it is all action, not just major decisions.

When you make dinner, serve it lovingly. When you drive, do it compassionately. When you work, do it mindfully. This will add up to a good life for you.

A hint: your action does not have its roots in anger or sadness.

So. Think about your choices. Which action is right action?

Making Decisions

You’re going back and forth between two choices. Your head is swimming with thoughts, your heart is heavy with emotions. You don’t know what to do. How do you know what to do?

First, take a deep breath. Get in a quiet place and quiet your mind.

Think about Choice #1. Pretend you make it. How do you feel? Now do the same thing with Choice #2. Does either choice make you want to confer with friends? If so, that is not the right decision. You shouldn’t have to ask others. You know the answer.

When you make the “right” decision, you will feel at peace, because your decision sits with your life’s purpose*.

*Eckhart Tolle

The 24 Hours Test

My students do a timed-writing exercise every day. Most of the time, the prompt is student generated. One of the prompts they came up with:

“If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do?”

Every single student imagined a day full of fun; reckless abandonment of any homework, tests and responsibilities. I’m sure adults would come up with something similar. Each student had a different definition of fun: a day at the beach, a day at Grandpa’s, or even just staying at home with family and their pet.

Sometimes a sense of urgency brings things in focus. What would you do? Who would you spend it with? Are you taking anyone for granted? Is there something you’re yearning to do?

How can you bring some of that to your day/week/month?

Perhaps you go to bed each night, thoroughly satisfied with how you spent your day. That is the ultimate goal, isn’t it?

The Paradox of People

Gun sales have dropped since we elected a President who supports gun rights.

When you’re always available to talk to your crush, he doesn’t really want to talk to you.

Telling people what to do often results in rebellion.

Trying hard to fit in will get you kicked out.

Not getting the results you want with people? Maybe you just need to relax.

Kismet

Daily Practice

meditation