Personal Success

One New Habit: A New You

We’re still 87 days to New Year’s (but who’s counting)?

Maybe you get excited about setting resolutions. Maybe you are thinking of how you are FINALLY going to change…lose weight, make/save more money, get a new job/spouse/partner.

Or maybe not. Maybe you’ve tried and failed so many times, you’ve given up.

If you are serious about reaching your goals, then you need to develop healthy habits. It’s the things you do on a daily basis that ultimately lead to the actualization of your dreams. Crash diets don’t lead to long-term weight loss. Superficial makeovers don’t lead to marriage and a lottery ticket won’t make you rich (your chances: 1 in 14 million).

It’s going to take change on a daily basis. But it doesn’t have to be painful.

Charles Duhigg of The Power of Habit discusses the surprising power of developing a small habit. He found that people who formed a small, healthy habit usually developed other strong, healthy habits.

For example, I know someone who decided to see if drinking 64 oz of water every day would get rid of her under eye circles. She drank at least 64 oz of water every day for six weeks. She didn’t notice a difference with the dark circles (dang it!), but she did notice that she was eating healthier foods and exercising more regularly which led her to sleeping better.

Duhigg was right!

What small, healthy habit can you begin today?

 

Motivation (Daniel Pink) Tip #1

Tip #1 of 9 for Awakening Your Motivation: Give Yourself a Flow Test

In flow, people live “so deeply in the moment, and feel so utterly in control, that their sense of time, place, and even self melt away.”

If you haven’t identified what kind of activities engage you in this way, Pink suggests you set a timer for several random times throughout the day. When it goes off, record what you’re doing and how you’re feeling. You’ll soon find your “flow.”

This exercise can help you determine your optimal time of work and the “true source of your intrinsic motivation”!

Motivation: Daniel Pink

My co-workers and I discuss motivation of our students on a daily basis. So-and-So is simply unmotivated…if only he would find his motivation, he’s smart enough to pass, etc. We

teachers agree that we cannot give our students motivation. We can only inspire. But that’s often not enough.

 

Everyone has experienced the lack of motivation to create or pursue a dream. What is it that creates the “click”? The decision to act and work toward a goal?

Daniel Pink of Drive asserts that our businesses are operating under an outdated and unproductive system of carrots and sticks. Bonuses simply do not work long-term. What works, then? His research shows that there are 3 essential elements for enhancing motivation:

  1. Autonomy – “the desire to direct our own lives”
  2. Mastery – “the urge to make progress and get better at something that matters” and
  3. Purpose – “the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves.”

Essentially, extrinsic motivators do not work. Treats or rewards for good grades, reading books, practicing piano…they can actually undermine intrinsic desires.

Tomorrow, I will cover the first of nine strategies Daniel Pink identifies to awaken your motivation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Self-Publishing “Esther, Mia and the Stars”

 

I’m a newbie to self-publishing. I wrote about my children’s book a couple nights ago and I’m going to share my learning process with you in this blog. My hopes are two-fold:

  1. This will hold me accountable and make me DO IT; and
  2. You will follow along with me and get your book published too!

Coincidentally, (and doesn’t the universe provide when you with what you need when you express your desires out loud?), I was reading Choose Yourself by James Altucher and he has a chapter on self-publishing! He recommends using CreateSpace.com. I know there are a kajillion other sites and ways to do this. I’m going to try this first. They have a step-by-step process built in for you and you can then sell through Amazon.com.

Tonight, I signed up. Each night, I will do something to get closer to publishing and share it here. But for now, I have to make lesson plans for the week. I spent most of today cleaning and taking my daughters to the mall. One had Girls Day Out (she had a fantastic time with three friends) and the other needed to pick out a Homecoming dress. Done!

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My Beautiful Fresh(wo)man

I also made progress in re-typing a short story I wrote over 13 years ago (I lost the Word doc, but had a hard copy).

As long as I make consistent progress in these areas, I’m happy. As a wise woman once said:

You can have it all, just not at once.

Oprah Winfrey

When the High Bar Becomes the Low Bar

Scarcity creates hunger. It’s good to be hungry. You’ll work hard if you need to eat.

Extreme pain can prove to be an effective deterrent, ask anyone who has survived a war or depression. They’ll do anything – anything – to avoid experiencing that again.

Tough competition pushes you to your limits.

But the very best competitor and source of inspiration is yourself.

Stand up comedians always save their best line for last. Louis C.K. played the same act for years, with mild success.  But he changed when he heard  George Carlin suggest that after performing a successful set, comedians should scrap it all and start over. Louis C.K. then started his act with what was his last (and best line), effectively pushing himself to reach even higher bars. He’s now worth $8 to 10 million and is lauded by many to be one of the best comedians of all time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tear It Down In Order to Build It Up

 

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“Swollen Heart” by Josie Wipff, age 14 (6/18/16)

In order to build your dream house, you might have to destroy the dilapidated building that stands on the property first. You have to clear the area. And then you build. You have to spend money, hire people to help, do some problem-solving, tear some hair out…but in the end, it’s built.  And your dream comes true.

When you want to increase muscle in your body, you have to lift heavy weights. This hurts. I guess that’s why so many people don’t do it. But when you tear those muscles, your body works to build them up again – stronger. And you can lift things you couldn’t lift before. And you feel good and you look good and your lover/spouse can’t keep his/her hands off of you. Hm, might be worth the pain?

There are people who are working hard at a relationship that brings more tears than laughter. “Well, I’ll forgive so-and-so again, he/she didn’t mean to hurt me, etc.” They spend their precious time trying to make the other person into someone he/she isn’t. They invest their energies only to be disappointed time and time again. They hope he/she won’t yell/hit/stay out late/do drugs/get drunk anymore. But their partner isn’t changing. Some major tearing down and clearing is necessary in order for something special and amazing to be built.

What do you need to destroy and clear out before beginning again?