The 1,400 Mile Journey

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“Most sea turtles undergo long migrations, some as far as 1400 miles, between their feeding grounds and the beaches where they nest.”*

I thought of animals like the sea turtle who complete Herculean tasks as a part of just living. Since I started Nanowrimo and set a daily word count goal for myself, I’ve realized how it’s so important to stick to your daily goals in order to reach your End Goal. If I skip one day, not too big a deal, but if I fail to meet my goals two, three or more days, I’ve now got quite the task in front of me and it only adds to my anxiety.

Your good great health is built on a long string of days doing the right thing: eating well and exercising. If you skip too many days, you’re no longer healthy or fit and it’s just that much more difficult to reach your goal.

If you give 50% effort during several days of work per week (or month), the quality of your work (in general) suffers. You no longer have the respect of your peers, your boss(es) or your clients. Most importantly, you no longer have self-respect.

An off day is OK. But be sure to jump up and start your long journey right again the next day and catch up!

Each day is precious.

*http://www.defenders.org/sea-turtles/basic-facts

Wayfaring Writer

I’m still writing, just haven’t blogged about it. Thought I’d share the progress (and I want to hear from you, too!)

I am an entire day behind on Nanowrimo. As I wrote last night, I have been busy planning and executing my husband’s 50th birthday and it was WELL WORTH IT!

My children’s book is also progressing nicely, my teacher/friend is halfway through the Spanish translation. Yippeee! Somehow, it looks more real when I see progress that someone else has added to it.

When I realized I am not on pace with my Nanowrimo schedule (approximately 900 words/day), I started to feel a bit bad/sad/panicky. And then I was reading The Book of Joy and Desmond Tutu said something that gave me pause: sometimes, our ambition wrecks our happiness.

All the spiritual leaders I know have spoken about this. It’s FINE and GREAT to have ambition, as long as it doesn’t stress you out and cause you negative feelings. I don’t want to give up my goals, but I also don’t want to feel bad when I don’t reach my goals. I’ve always used stress to motivate myself (so my husband tells me). What to do?

Work towards them and remain flexible for a bend in the road. Continue working happily. Continue working through obstacles happily. Work around them and just remain equanimous.

journey

The Magnificence of Margins (Or, Superb Space)

pablo-garcia_mexico — *Pablo Garcia, Mexico – Unsplash.com*

On a document, we have margins or space to define boundaries between text and the edges of the paper. It’s aesthetically pleasing. It the words went to the edges of the paper, we’d find it a bit distracting and perhaps difficult to read.

Space devoid of things or noise or thoughts can bring joy, calm and purpose.

When you complain to me, if I take the space of time to process it before I respond, I’ll probably come up with something more equanimous than if I reacted immediately.

A room cluttered with things might bring a sense of anxiety or disgust.

hoarding

If you clean it up and there is physical space to sit, lie down, and walk, it will be a more welcoming room.

When I meditate, I am focusing my attention on my breath. This allows me to not think any thoughts. The more I practice this, the easier it is for me to enter this state of space and calm. This is good. When something bad happens, I do not need to react. Also, when a good thing happens, there is no need to go crazy. “This, too, shall pass” means life is a rollercoaster and the secret to happiness is to not react to the crazy.

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Subscriptions

When I was sixteen, I subscribed to “Cosmopolitan” Magazine. I was young and dumb. I spent good money to receive a thick magazine full of ads and editorials, telling me the definition of beauty was to be rail thin. It advertised things that were well out of my reach money-wise. It did very little for me.

Since then, I’ve gotten wiser. I subscribe to “Sunset Magazine” which touts itself as the premier home and living magazine of the West. I learn about great shops and restaurants, home decor ideas, ideal plants for my yard, and time-saving (yet delicious) recipes. Most of the information provides timeless value.

Subscriptions should provide benefits. It should feel like a gift. When you subscribe to blogs, newsletters, magazines, wine of the month clubs, etc. where you pay ahead of time (if at all) and receive something on a regular basis, it ought to leave you happy and grateful, like a present.

gifts

As the year comes to a close, perhaps it’s time to reevaluate your subscriptions. What’s automatically coming to your door or inbox? Does it provide value and joy? Does it fulfill someone else’s purpose or yours?

Wake Up!

dog-sleeping

Sometimes, I feel like people are asleep. I mean, sleeping is nice, right? So why not be awake and be asleep? Just close your eyes to that which you do not find pleasant. We really do not wield much power in reality anyway, right?

My daughter came home extremely upset today. A boy in her class drew the swastika on his arm. This is not the first time. It’s the third time he’s done this. She told him (for the third time) that this is absolutely unacceptable, that it’s a symbol of unspeakable atrocities against mankind. Um, Holocaust, anyone?

He laughed and said he was just “joking around.” And then he told her to “lighten up.” [Does this kind of rhetoric sound familiar?]

Crying, she said, “Mom, I’m just terribly sad and AFRAID.”

Our current political climate, our literal climate, our rising gun violence rates, and our collective unconsciousness are not instilling confidence in our children. Do the right thing. If your school tells you your child is drawing swastikas on his arm and books, then give him an education and a serious consequence. Teach him that it’s wrong.

Don’t “Boys will be boys” it.

I’m going to call that boy’s parents and I will let you know if they are “asleep” or not.

Your Purpose Relies on Community

busybees

Because I work with children all day (super busy bees!) and have two children of my own, daydreaming about solitude occurs from time to time. To be alone! Ahhhhh! To stand in silence. I dream.

quiet

But it is within community that we find meaning in our lives and our work. You might work alone, but your work inevitably touches people. If it doesn’t, it’s not of value.

It’s Na-No-Wri-Mo Time!

ljizlzhgq7wpsh5kvtcb_typewriter — by Florian Klauer

National Novel Writing Month

I’m not quite finished with my children’s book, Esther, Mia and the Stars, but I’m close. I am short just a few illustrations and I have someone translating it into Spanish. I’m going to have my mother translate it into Korean over Thanksgiving. I will ship it! It WILL happen!

I thought I should finish that before I started another project, but… it’s Na-No-Wri-Mo right now. I’ve been doing research in October in anticipation of this. Tomorrow, I commit to the writing. I’ve written several fiction stories, but I’m especially excited about this one.

A fellow teacher/writer asked me three weeks ago, “Why don’t you do Na-no-wri-mo?” My first thought, Yeah, right. A novel in one month. I’m working full-time, I have kids and a husband. There is no time.

And then another voice:

“You MAKE time.”

Yes, you make time. Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Marie Curie…all had the same 24 hours we have.

So, what’s it about? I can’t say.

Advice I’ve always remembered: Do not share or reveal too soon. It invites naysayers and judges at the most critical time. Focus on the content. Focus on the work. Reveal it later.

So, what do you say? Want to join me? I’d love to share our ups and downs!

Click on this link to get started now!

When Helping Hinders

When I was in fourth grade, I went rollerskating every Friday night. Every Friday night. My mom dropped my sister, brother and me to the rink and left for a couple hours and then picked us up. Sometimes, she stayed and waited, hand bag slung over her arm, watching with worry. (Thanks, mom!) After awhile, my sister and brother didn’t want to go, so I’d be dropped off alone. When I first started, I fell. A lot. I held onto the walls and fell and got back up. Pretty quickly, I gained my balance and before you know it, I was the fastest skater out there. I couldn’t get enough of it. Overhead, we had the disco ball, the strobe lights, the BeeGees! It doesn’t get much better than that, people!

rollerrink

I still go rollerskating now, four decades later. My daughters won’t go. They don’t enjoy it. Neither does my husband. So, once again, I skate alone. I go hard for an hour and then I go home.

I went today and many kids were using this, in record numbers:

One boy using a skatemate fell and his dad ran out on the rink (with shoes on) and picked his son up. He ran behind him, pushed him gently to give him a bit of acceleration and then he left the floor. Not much later, his son would fall again. Out came dad, running to pick his son up. Mind you, his son was about 9, probably a fourth grader. I was impressed by the father’s sprint, his unwavering attention to his son and his intention. Clearly, he cared. But maybe he cared too much about the wrong thing.

I’m pretty sure his son is going to take a long time to learn how to rollerskate. I mean, what with the physical crutch of the skatemate and then the mental crutch of being constantly rescued, he doesn’t get to practice much.

Learning often necessitates frustration, time and yes, pain. But the rewards are well worth it.

I’ve Been Asking the Wrong Question

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As a recovering Tiger Mom, I’m working really hard to unlearn some bad practices. I don’t expect my kids to get straight A’s. I just want to ensure they always do their best. HOWEVER, I’m aware that I often use grades as a default metric. It’s so easy to buy into the hype: competitive college scholarships, high tuition, “name brand” universities, etc.

In my heart, I know it’s wrong. It’s the wrong place to stress priorities with my kids.

A blogger on Huffington Post ~~bragged~~ wrote about how he and his wife ask their daughters 3 questions each night:

How were you brave tonight?
How were you kind today?
How did you fail today?

Aren’t these more important concerns? Won’t these values take them further than a perfect GPA? Their third question, “How did you fail today?” opens the discussion about effort and not achieving the goal. The parents wanted to stress lessons learned from this taboo subject and, to in fact, celebrate failing! The word “fail” is leaden with negativity in our culture, but it’s really the only way we get stronger. It’s how we get resilient.

I’ve been asking my daughters a question each day, too. I thought I was being positive. I shared my experience on FB with my friends:

What is school for?

According to Seth Godin, school’s purpose should be to:

teach kids to lead; and
teach kids to try things and to FAIL.

He says, “Fine, getting an A is good. But it’s not the most important thing.”

Personally, I’ve known many “successful” (read: high income) folks who burned the midnight oil to get the excellent grades, get into the perfect college and then obtain the perfect, high-paying job. They’re still not happy.

Don’t we want our kids to lead happy, productive, creative lives?

If you want the right answers, you need to ask the right questions. Perhaps the right question is not, “How can my kid get into an Ivy League School?” but “How can I raise my child to be a compassionate, productive, happy citizen?”

What do we need to do to be happy? Thoughts?

*photo from unsplash.com

What’s Transparency?

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I was in a workshop for educational leadership. We broke out into groups and were asked to list cultural values we would uphold as leaders. One group mentioned “transparency.”

“What does that mean?” Our instructor asked.

“You know…you get what you see,” one group member answered. She sounded feeble.

“Transparency. No secrets! You share everything…that includes your conversations about other people. When you talk about someone who isn’t there, you should only say what you’d say if they WERE there.”

This is when I realized I have worked in a lot of dysfunctional work environments. How would this affect your professional life? That is, if you stopped engaging in gossip? How about your personal life?

Kismet

Daily Practice

Personal Success