You gain a follower. You are so happy! And then you lose one. Or two.
You play in a tennis tournament and make several unforced errors that cost you the match.
You stutter and stammer during the most important business meeting of the year. You’re sure you didn’t clinch this deal.
The feeling of disappointment is hard for you to shake.
Recently, a couple was found guilty of stealing from Amazon.com: $1.2 million! Was Jeff Bezos was up late at night, worrying about it? Was he fixated on this one event, wondering why? No. He’s got the holiday shopping season, Whole Foods and new centers to build and maintain. He’s got “people” (lawyers) to handle the problems. He stays on-task.
This pertains to work and relationships: focus on progress (which leads to the ultimate goal). The subscriber count, the meeting and the competition are just one metric in each sphere of work.
Truth —-> Self-Awareness —> Integrity —> Self-Contentment —> Peace
Which would you prefer: to be happy or to reach xyz goal?
When I find myself starting to worry or getting wrapped up in achieving xyz…The question, Isn’t it important to be happy? realigns my focus. The truth is, it’s not what I do that’s important, it’s HOW I do what I do.
When I was a teenager, my sister, brother and I studied Tae Kwon Do with the late, great Chung Kim. It was one of the most challenging endeavors I’ve ever done because the studio was very “old school.” Classes were not designed to entice kids to join and have a “good time.” It was all about self-discipline and focus. We had to do knuckle pushups if we made a mistake. We free sparred grown men. We practiced, breathed, and lived according to the tenets of CIPSI:
Indomitable (unconquerable) Spirit
I remember the physical pain of knuckle push-ups, sparring, and sit-ups. I remember silently crying because I failed a belt test or failed at something else. It was more painful than not. It was more frustrating and frightening than not. But in the end, my siblings and I earned our 1st degree black belts.
There was a hearing impaired couple – man and wife – who were practicing in the studio. I watched them, mesmerized. It was already so hard! How did they do it? People are amazing. If person set goals and believe 100% in themselves, they will accomplish their goal. I saw this first hand in the dojang and I see it every day in my students.
Every important lesson I’ve learned in life bloomed in that stinky studio. Focus on what you’re doing. Control your mind and your body. Visualize your goals. Work hard. Never quit.
Master Kim, thank you for leaving such a valuable legacy.
We receive holiday cards, mostly from friends and family but also the occasional acquaintance.
We received a card with one of “those” letters in them. You know what I mean, the ones that review the entire year for every family member in 8 very full paragraphs in 8pt font. Everything that happened was fantastic. Each family member is on his/her way to great success.
This card/letter came from a family with whom we don’t have a personal connection. We never speak on the phone, we never meet up. We are not even Facebook friends. They happen to be real estate agents in the community.
2016 is almost over. I’d like to see some authenticity happen in 2017.
Communications (email, phone, social media, etc.) are time-consuming, both for the sender and the recipient. Wouldn’t it be nice if every attempt at reaching out was genuine? Do you really care to forge a relationship with us? Then be real. Invite us for a meet up. Call. Even an email invitation is acceptable these days.
But please, don’t send a generic “personalized” letter and assume we care. Why should we?
I was in a workshop for educational leadership. We broke out into groups and were asked to list cultural values we would uphold as leaders. One group mentioned “transparency.”
“What does that mean?” Our instructor asked.
“You know…you get what you see,” one group member answered. She sounded feeble.
“Transparency. No secrets! You share everything…that includes your conversations about other people. When you talk about someone who isn’t there, you should only say what you’d say if they WERE there.”
This is when I realized I have worked in a lot of dysfunctional work environments. How would this affect your professional life? That is, if you stopped engaging in gossip? How about your personal life?