You’re looking at f***ing determination and truth and creativity. You’re looking at loss and sorrow and the effort for a deeper perspective. You’re looking at satisfaction and happiness. You’re looking at a manifestation of a connection so deep and rooted that it’s more real than I am. You’re looking at my face.*
“Mind your own business.” This phrase could be perceived as rude (context and tone would give a clue), but not necessarily. It comes down to facts. I have my business, you have yours. Conflicts can arise when we cross boundaries.
Sometimes, people make other people’s business their own. Why? Because they are judgmental, unhappy, uninformed, or just fearful of change.
Case(s) in point:
This year, I have decided to pursue learning how to draw and paint. I was not expecting comments like, “Why are you taking a class? Just draw! You don’t need a class, that’s silly.”
I also decided to stop doing a lot of extra volunteer duties at work. Response: “But you’ve alwaysdone (fill-in-the-blank).”
These responses are generally directed toward women, by the way. I rarely never see men at the receiving end of such remarks.
How to react? Just smile and ignore it. Listen to your gut and do what works best for you. As Eric Barker says, the first step to pursuing what makes you happy is to define it for yourself!
Speaking of grains (sort of)….
Did you know Doritos is making “lady friendly chips“? (Washington Post) Read the article, Maura Judkis is hilarious.
What do I like about chips? Hmm, I guess I like how they are small and petite, like me! I like how the bags are shiny and have bright colors. Though I know that chips are not technically meant for Ladies like me because their bags are never pink. If only there were chips that came in a pink bag, so I would know that gentle Ladies like myself could consume them with dignity!
When I was a young teen, my father gathered my sister, brother and me and told us we were going to start taking Tae Kwon Do lessons. He didn’t ask what we thought about it or if we wanted to do it, he told us we were doing it. My father was an extremely strict father. Tiger Moms these days are mere kittens compared to my father back then. So we didn’t even groan or try to get out of it.
We began. The entire time, I kept wishing I was taking dance instead. But no, martial arts it was.
My sister and I were young teenage girls and we had to spar grown men and believe me, they didn’t “take it easy” on us. JoAnne and I learned to use our elbows to defend ourselves against their powerful kicks. It worked! Martial arts was big back then because of a guy named Bruce Lee.
We lived those tenets. All three of us earned 1st degree black belts.
There were no Asians in magazines back then. Or TV. Even “Kung Fu” starred a white man named David Carradine. It turns out Warner Bros. stole Bruce Lee’s concept and believed a full blooded Asian on TV wouldn’t work so they hired Mr. Carradine.
What did Bruce Lee do? He went to China and made “The Big Boss” which made him an international star.
This is what you must do when you face rejection. When you face sexism. Racism. Any kind of bigotry. Go out and be Bruce Lee. That is, embody his spirit.
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
Sometimes, I feel like people are asleep. I mean, sleeping is nice, right? So why not be awake andbe asleep? Just close your eyes to that which you do not find pleasant. We really do not wield much power in reality anyway, right?
My daughter came home extremely upset today. A boy in her class drew the swastika on his arm. This is not the first time. It’s the third time he’s done this. She told him (for the third time) that this is absolutely unacceptable, that it’s a symbol of unspeakable atrocities against mankind. Um, Holocaust, anyone?
He laughed and said he was just “joking around.” And then he told her to “lighten up.” [Does this kind of rhetoric sound familiar?]
Crying, she said, “Mom, I’m just terribly sad and AFRAID.”
Our current political climate, our literal climate, our rising gun violence rates, and our collective unconsciousness are not instilling confidence in our children. Do the right thing. If your school tells you your child is drawing swastikas on his arm and books, then give him an education and a serious consequence. Teach him that it’s wrong.
Don’t “Boys will be boys” it.
I’m going to call that boy’s parents and I will let you know if they are “asleep” or not.