presence

Losing “Everything”

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Ellen DeGeneres decided to come out of the closet in 1997. She was at the top of her game at the time, starring in her popular “The Ellen Show.”

Why did she take the risk? Because she felt it was important -and healthier – than living in fear or denial of who she really was. The “secret” made her feel as if she was wrong and she knew she was right.

So she came out as the real Ellen and then had her character come out on the show.

What happened?

She lost her show. No one would call her. She got no gigs.

Three years.

For three years, she was stripped of all the external factors of identity: no career or the benefits that come with it. Not only that, some of her previous fans berated her and judged her. Christian groups picketed her studio and mentioned God while acting very un-Christian. Studios wouldn’t touch her.

You realize who you really are when you don’t have anything. – Ellen

And then “Finding Dory” came along. Ellen also got her own new talk show. She’s immensely popular all over again. Only now, she has no secrets.

Does she regret coming out?

NOT AT ALL.

“It’s the best -because I’m free.

I’m completely able to be exactly who I am.”*

 

*http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2011/10/04/DeGeneres-doesnt-regret-coming-out-as-gay/74651317701340/

 

Making Decisions

 

 

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Kazuend

You’re going back and forth between two choices. Your head is swimming with thoughts, your heart is heavy with emotions. You don’t know what to do. How do you know what to do?

First, take a deep breath. Get in a quiet place and quiet your mind.

Think about Choice #1. Pretend you make it. How do you feel? Now do the same thing with Choice #2. Does either choice make you want to confer with friends? If so, that is not the right decision. You shouldn’t have to ask others. You know the answer.

When you make the “right” decision, you will feel at peace, because your decision sits with your life’s purpose*.

 

 

 

*Eckhart Tolle

The 24 Hours Test

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My students do a timed-writing exercise every day. Most of the time, the prompt is student generated. One of the prompts they came up with:

“If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do?”

Every single student imagined a day full of fun; reckless abandonment of any homework, tests and responsibilities. I’m sure adults would come up with something similar. Each student had a different definition of fun: a day at the beach, a day at Grandpa’s, or even just staying at home with family and their pet.

Sometimes a sense of urgency brings things in focus. What would you do? Who would you spend it with? Are you taking anyone for granted? Is there something you’re yearning to do?

How can you bring some of that to your day/week/month?

Perhaps you go to bed each night, thoroughly satisfied with how you spent your day. That is the ultimate goal, isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

The Paradox of People

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David Marcu

Gun sales have dropped since we elected a President who supports gun rights.

When you’re always available to talk to your crush, he doesn’t really want to talk to you.

Telling people what to do often results in rebellion.

Trying hard to fit in will get you kicked out.

 

Not getting the results you want with people? Maybe you just need to relax.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting

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You’re waiting in line at the (fill in the blank: post office, grocery store, gas station).

Do you grab your phone and surf the ‘net? Do you get on Facebook? Do you sigh and impatiently monitor the line, wishing you were somewhere else?

An alternative activity: sit with your eyes closed. Breathe in. Breathe out. Feel sensation in your hands, feet, stomach. Want a sample of nirvana? Ask yourself, “I wonder what my next thought will be?” And wait. The moment that follows, where you mind is completely blank, that is complete peace of mind.*

 

 

 

*Eckhart Tolle

 

 

How to Avoid Letting Ego Ruin Your Night

We are at the Ikeda Theater, waiting to watch Itzhak Perlman. We’re in the nosebleeds section, despite paying several hundred dollars. But this is Perlman. You can’t put a price on this.
Who comes to sit right next to us, but the girl and the mom who were so rude during summer symphony camp! I had set some gifts for the teachers and a sweater on my seat and came back after lunch to find them removed. “Mrs. S.” was sitting in our seats, her tripod and fancy camera all set up to capture her princess in her quartet group.  She had placed my possessions in “lost and found.”

I was fuming.

And here we are now. It’s funny how feelings can come to surface again.

Deep breath. This pain is ego. You cannot fight ego by resisting it.

This is called “practice” or meditation. Be mindful. Be aware. And let it go.

People are talking while Mr. Perlman is playing. Let it go.
It is not always easy.

I’m sitting with my husband and my daughters  who are dressed in their finest clothes. They did their hair in fancy dos and they feel special because we are taking them out to see Itzhak Perlman.

I choose to enjoy the  evening, moment by moment.

Let It Go Through You

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I am practicing something I’d like to share with you. It’s been so effective for me!

Eckhart Tolle advises that you do this in order to stop letting things and people bother you.

When faced with a comment, a gesture, or an event that upsets you, imagine yourself transparent and imagine this offending element going through you. It just goes through you. You don’t resist it, you don’t react, just let it go through you.

Let me know if this works for you.

 

Brick by Brick

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Let’s say your life is a small house made of brick. Each day is one brick. Is any day really more important than another? How would you feel if you realized, at the end of construction, that most of those bricks were spent worry, hurrying, or wishing for the one Vacation Day brick…or the Promotion Day brick? Pretty silly, eh?

Conversely, what kind of house – life – would you have if each day (brick) was spent in full presence? What if you placed each brick carefully, lovingly and enjoyed the process?

Each brick is important, but the most important one is the one you’re laying down right now.