But why finish strong? Do people just say it so you don’t quit?
What’s wrong with 80 or 90% completion? Running 80% of a marathon is still running 20.96 miles. That’s a really long distance. Most people would commend you just for that. Most people would say you’re a super star. Most people don’t even give 50%.
But you would know you quit.
You would know that you didn’t quite finish.
And then you’ve created a bit of distrust in yourself.
When you create distrust (in yourself), you create self-doubt. And then you are less likely to take risks or complete tasks.
So, it’s important that you finish strong. A lot rides on it!
These don’t work. There’s no way to reach lofty goals except to work hard. In fact, exceptional goals all require one factor: Grit.
Angela Duckworth coined the term when she distinguished the difference between her 7th grade public school math students who excelled those who didn’t. She also noticed this difference between her colleagues and herself – some of her co-workers had become experts over 20 years studying the same subject. Although she was always achievement-minded, Duckworth felt her work was much less focused on any one area. She defines this special characteristic “grit” – “a passionate commitment to a single mission and an unswerving dedication to achieve that mission.” (Paul Tough,How Children Succeed)
Duckworth created a 12 question grit survey. Answers to questions such as: “New ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones” were answered by a 1 to 5 point scale responses (1 = not like me at all to 5 = very much like me). Although the surveys were self-administered, they found the results to be quite accurate and indicative of future success. In fact, they administered it to 1200 military cadets at West Point. Out of several other tests used to predict graduation rates, Duckworth’s 12 question survey was the most predictive.
Why does this matter? Perhaps because so much has always weighed on IQ or “intelligence.” If one can harness the power of grit, one can achieve anything.
Natalie Goldberg suggests you hook up with a fellow (local) writer. Tell her/him that you’ll meet ’em at the local coffee shop at 3pm. When they say they can’t meet, stop them and say, “No, no. I don’t want to know whether you’ll be there or not. I will go and write whether you’re there or not.” You continue this way: email, text, call your friend and make a writing date and keep it no matter what.
You could also blog or publish your work every day and tell everyone you know that you’ll be publishing daily. Believe me, there’s nothing like being held publicly accountable!
Seth Godin has excellent tips on doing this. In fact, I started writing my blog again (following a long absence) after reading about his philosophy. Godin encourages you to write every day – even badly – because it will get your brain working to think crisply, analytically, every day. You notice things more. He’s right!
And if that monkey mind starts to chatter (“This isn’t good… people won’t like this, etc.”) tell that monkey that it is far easier to criticize than to create!
In order to build your dream house, you might have to destroy the dilapidated building that stands on the property first. You have to clear the area. And then you build. You have to spend money, hire people to help, do some problem-solving, tear some hair out…but in the end, it’s built. And your dream comes true.
When you want to increase muscle in your body, you have to lift heavy weights. This hurts. I guess that’s why so many people don’t do it. But when you tear those muscles, your body works to build them up again – stronger. And you can lift things you couldn’t lift before. And you feel good and you look good and your lover/spouse can’t keep his/her hands off of you. Hm, might be worth the pain?
There are people who are working hard at a relationship that brings more tears than laughter. “Well, I’ll forgive so-and-so again, he/she didn’t mean to hurt me, etc.” They spend their precious time trying to make the other person into someone he/she isn’t. They invest their energies only to be disappointed time and time again. They hope he/she won’t yell/hit/stay out late/do drugs/get drunk anymore. But their partner isn’t changing. Some major tearing down and clearing is necessary in order for something special and amazing to be built.
What do you need to destroy and clear out before beginning again?
A few years ago, Josie and Ava were watching a Disney program. At 8 and 9, they were excited about a young, rising star named Christina Grimmie. Her love and talent of music fueled their desire to be musicians.
When Ms. Grimmie was shot to death, my daughters were devastated and in shock. Why? Why her? She was such a good person.
There is no answer to this question. We keep asking this question and there is no satisfactory answer.
On the heels of this tragedy, another one occurred: 50 people killed in Orlando. Innocent young lives were taken by an armed and mentally deranged person.My girls were very quiet. “I’m so….sad,” Ava said before she fell asleep.
Two weeks ago, our neighbor across the street murdered his wife with a gun. To my children, it seems like guns are everywhere. We live in Arizona…America…so they are. Guns are everywhere.
I don’t want my children to grow up fearful and angry.
I don’t want my children to be victims of terror or violence.
I don’t want my children to be disgusted with their world.
Ava had decided months ago that every Monday during summer vacation, she would play her violin for the Alzheimer residents at a nearby facility. As I drove her and Josie to the center today, I told them that every person can only control how they act in this world. “You two are influencing your world for the better. You are spreading love and music to lonely people and you help them be happy. I’m very proud of you.”
They nodded silently.
Sometimes, the only answer to senseless violence is the persevering action of kindness. Love will always prevail.
Kismet 