Personal Success

When the High Bar Becomes the Low Bar

Scarcity creates hunger. It’s good to be hungry. You’ll work hard if you need to eat.

Extreme pain can prove to be an effective deterrent, ask anyone who has survived a war or depression. They’ll do anything – anything – to avoid experiencing that again.

Tough competition pushes you to your limits.

But the very best competitor and source of inspiration is yourself.

Stand up comedians always save their best line for last. Louis C.K. played the same act for years, with mild success.  But he changed when he heard  George Carlin suggest that after performing a successful set, comedians should scrap it all and start over. Louis C.K. then started his act with what was his last (and best line), effectively pushing himself to reach even higher bars. He’s now worth $8 to 10 million and is lauded by many to be one of the best comedians of all time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Banner Teen Day

My daughter gave me not one – but TWO – compliments today. Usually, she snottily asks me what happened to my hair, or why am I wearing “those ugly shoes,” or she offers to help me with my very sad eyebrows.

But today, she:

  1. asked to wear one of my shirts to school tomorrow (!) and
  2. asked me why I wear big shorts when I have such nice legs (!)

I know this appearance thing is a phase. I try to not get irked too much when I see her taking her 99th selfie or when she practices her smile and picture poses over and over again. But I worry when I see old men ogling at her at the grocery store. She’s fourteen! I want to scream at them. My friend does scream that at dirty old men who look at her step daughter that way. Maybe we all need to scream it.

Another friend of mine (who has been through numerous miscarriages and a stillbirth), told me she turned to her husband the other day and asked,

“Remember when I just worried about being pretty?”

I exercise every day. I used to workout in order to look good. Now, I do it to FEEL good. Having daughters, I am keenly aware that they are watching me. Telling them that being strong is one thing, but showing them is entirely another.

Heartbreak

 

 

 

When your child attempts something – and works so hard to prepare – yet doesn’t quite make her goal…

and then your child’s friend has a birthday party and doesn’t invite her…

…and THEN your child accidentally deletes all the photos on her phone and they are gone forever…

it’s tempting to want to solve her problems, to take her shopping and help her forget, to help her get happy again.

It’s tempting to tell her the girl is mean and not worth her friendship.

It’s tempting to get her a pedicure, to see those tears dry up.

Instead, hold her while she cries. Tell her it’s OK and that she can handle it. Because she can.

The key to a happy life is not to avoid problems (that’s impossible). The key to a happy life is to approach each problem with the attitude that you can handle it. This is what we must teach our children.

 

 

 

When Costco Sells You Overripe Peaches…

 

 

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make peach cobbler.

I know I’m preaching to the converted, because people who read food blogs care about food, where it comes from and how it’s used. They also make sure not to waste. But I see too many occasions where food is thrown out. If you don’t like cobbler, you can wash the peaches, cut them up and freeze them. Later, you can throw them in a blender with crushed ice and vanilla yogurt for a delicious peach smoothie. There are many ways to utilize “leftover” food. It’s healthier and less costly. Some people think being frugal is the new “f” word, but it’s resourceful, healthy and better for the environment.

 

It’s also delicious!

Gifts

I came home today, opened my mail, and I got… this!

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My cousin Jennifer reads my blog and she purchased this book for me after learning that I love Maangchi!

What a wonderful, generous gesture.

What if we all did something nice for someone every day? Wouldn’t it be a better world?

 

I am going to pay it forward by cooking some dishes and having friends over. As soon as my cousin can make her way to Arizona, she and her family will sit down at my table and enjoy the fruits of my mad Korean cooking skills.

 

 

 

 

Of Pastries and Pity

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Ava’s doughnut, minus the tax.

Willey and I teach our girls life lessons. Here are a few examples:

  1. Beware of insecure people. They lack self-love and thus, have no love to  give to you.
  2. Cheap shoes are never worth the savings.
  3. Cheap razors, however, are a wise choice. They are disposable for a reason.

And a biggie:

Taxes are painful and  unavoidable. I illustrate this lesson kinesthetically using doughnuts. Here’s how it goes:

Ava gets her doughnut. She wordlessly hands it to me.

“Tax,” I proclaim, as I take a big bite.

I hand it back to her.

She eats the rest.

As in life, taxes are especially bitter when taken out of your bonus check.

To drive this home, Willey will take tax out of their steak dinners or fancy pasta dishes when we go out. If hangry, the girls are driven nearly to tears.

Hey, it’s for their own good.

“Tough love,” I think they call it.

Um, Are You SURE?

Today was the first day of school!

For their time capsule, I had students answer some questions about personal preference and their current lives. They always get a kick out of their answers when they get their papers back  in May.

One of the most telling signs regarding success in class is their answer to this prompt:

My personal goals for this year are:

By “personal,” I mean goals that are not school-related. “Maybe you want to run a 9 minute mile, or wake up at 6am each day….or stop eating so much junk food,” I offer.

Here are some examples of what I received. Which student(s) do you think will do well this year?

for the blog tonight