(pause)
calmness in an uncomfortable situation;
serenity no matter what happens;
self-control of thoughts and actions;
and it requires constant vigilance.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Eckhart Tolle’s premise that Judging others and ourselves, Attaching (to things) and Resisting reality (JAR) all lead to unhappiness and that if you eradicate these three things, you will be happy.
Counting down to vacation, the weekend, or the end of the work day are examples of moments when we resist reality. These are opportunities to stop and think: we need to stop resisting our reality, our longing to be elsewhere.
I used to have a Countdown app. Long story, but I was in a job with a terrible boss. The job would end in 102 days. When I realized this “secret,”- that counting down was the antithesis of living with joy – I deleted the app and paid attention to my life. I did my best to enjoy every minute of the job, despite this awful boss. And I really began to love it!
Enjoy your present moment. Our lives are made of a chain of present moments, right? One right after another….this makes up a lifetime.
I was eating lunch with someone. She said, “I wonder what we’ll have for dinner.” Don’t do that. Fully enjoy your lunch. Dinner will happen when it happens. “But I have to plan it. I have to think about it beforehand, it doesn’t just happen,” you say. True. But while you eat your lunch, eat your lunch. Enjoy each bite. Being fully present for each bite…realizing when you are full and stopping…this is the best “diet.” When it comes time to plan your dinner, do it. And plan your dinner, but only do that. Be fully present. Be happy.
We were driving to violin lessons today. It’s a 45 minute drive. The car in front of us was crossing the line and coming back. The car in the other lane could not advance because of this. I thought, “Either this driver is drunk, or texting.” We passed the car and I saw the driver looking at his lap, obviously on his phone. How dangerous! We saw several people driving in this manner.
Multi-tasking is not only the enemy of happiness and excellent work, it can also cost lives.
So do not countdown to the next thing. Do not do two things at the same time. Slow down. Relax. Be mindful. This is the secret to happiness.
We all ought to be more like dogs, if we want to live joyful lives and be good people.
“I can’t walk you this morning, I’m running late.”
“It’s OK.”
“You will have to be all alone today, for 9 hours. I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK.”
“We ran out of your favorite treats, so no treats for you today.”
“It’s OK. I can still rub my back on the carpet and meditate.”
There’s a lot of bad news out there. The splash page of CNN.com, MSNBC.com and NYTimes.com read like the eve of Armageddon.
But there is also a lot of good news. News you don’t hear. Somebody rescued a dog today. Another person volunteered at a soup kitchen. Several students volunteered at a school and welcomed new students, serving them pizza today.
There is a lot of good out there.
And the BEST news: YOU have control of what you read and hear and DO.
Don’t watch the news. Don’t read it.
Make it.
Surround yourself with positive people. And help someone today.
I kept hearing about this news today: Due to a lack of randomized clinical trials to prove flossing effective, the Federal government has dropped the recommendation of flossing in their guidelines.
And now (some) people are breathing a sigh of relief, putting their floss down and going to bed.
I floss every single night. And I know it’s cleaning the area between my gums and teeth because I SEE evidence (not to get too graphic). So I’m going to continue to floss. I’m pretty sure if I stopped now, my gums would be worse for wear.
The only reason this is news is because the media thinks we’ll be angry and we love to be angry. I’m not angry. I get it. It’s common sense. Flossing is good. They haven’t had a wide ranging, vigorous study. People don’t want to participate in a study where someone flosses their teeth for 20 years. Do you blame ’em?
My advice, only floss the teeth (and gums) you want to keep.
I detest guns. I’ve never even held one in my hand but I hate ’em. I read headlines about gun violence every day. This one was buried in AZCentral.com, but it just goes to show you that gun violence doesn’t even earn front page real estate anymore.
I wish there were no guns. But I know they’re not going away, not in this country. So I’m not rallying to take gun rights away.
I’m writing tonight to confess.
The new Bourne movie came out and I went to see it. It is FILLED with gun violence (stabbing and choking, too). I couldn’t help it. I am a huge fan of Matt Damon’s. And I like action movies. I like intrigue and psychological thrillers.
And I think that is where some of us are going wrong. It’s a movie about bad guys vs. good guys/gals – the oldest story structure of all. And some Americans believe – truly believe – they are the good guys and with guns, and that they can fight and win a (gun)battle against a bad guy.
But more often – way more often – the good American gets fearful and shoots his wife/girlfriend/child/neighbor. The disgruntled employee shoots his boss and co-workers. The embittered, bullied student shoots his classmates. A 5 year old shoots his 2 year old brother. And too many bad guys have guns. Too many mentally ill people have access to guns.
So, I confess. I gave into a guilty pleasure. I supported a movie that glorifies gun violence and I know that’s bad.
I’m going to repent by teaching kids really well this year.
I never got to say goodbye
or thank you
swiftly and expectantly, you were taken
and questioned
never to return again
You reported there was no further intrusion
we all sighed in great relief
I had no need for the rays
or the poison
I’m grateful for your service
but your absence – albeit necessary –
has rendered the castle lacking
in slumber, the nerves misfire
and the crosswork tingles
Kismet 