Death as a Teacher

For something that affects each of us without fail, the subject of death remains taboo in our culture. Why?

2016 was rife with “surprise” celebrity deaths: Rickman, Bowie, Prince, Fisher and so many more. It’s sad to lose people we admire and love.

Yet, death can be the best teacher. It reminds us that life is, in the end, pretty short. It can clarify values pretty quickly. Six and half years ago, I was told by my doctor that I had cancer. I was fortunate – it was early stage I breast cancer – and my prognosis was very good. But I was 41 and not expecting that diagnosis at all. My life got crystal clear: Family and friends were priority. I realized that my job – teaching – was something I truly valued and I was grateful for it.

As I walked out of the hospital to go home to recover from my radical mastectomy, the air was crisp, the sun shone brightly and I noticed practically every blade of grass of the hospital lawn. I felt so alive!

Realizing that we don’t have much time gives us urgency. Don’t waste a day complaining. Don’t be negative. Live in the light of positivity and gratitude. Work towards your dreams. You might not have much time.

Money Is Only a Tool (Ayn Rand)

What are your beliefs about money? That you’ll never have enough? That only greedy people are rich?

Money is energy. You receive it in return for your work. If your work is valuable, you will receive currency. Focus on the giving and the rest will take care of itself.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. –Winston Churchill

Funds (like people) escape those who squeeze too tightly. Do good work, serve people generously, and wealth will come.

5 Ways to Increase Grit

Grit – the persevering drive to achieve one’s goals – is identified as one of the most powerful factors for success, even more than talent.

A big part of my job is to preserve perseverance in my students. As a mother, modeling and maintaining grit is central to my parenting style. We can raise talented, very smart children, but without resilience, they won’t create and maintain satisfying, successful careers and lives.

Perhaps you’ve found your own passion and you can relate. “I love writing/painting/coding/etc. but I often fail to complete a project. How can I develop grit?”

Angela Duckworth, a noted psychologist, author and recipient of the MacArthur Genius award for her work on grit, identified 5 research-based ways to increase your grit level:*

Pursue your interests – obviously, if you’re intrinsically driven to pursue something, you’ll be more apt to stick with it through thick and thin!
Practice insanely – consistent, deliberate practice not only makes perfect, it also increases your perseverance.
Find purpose – if your long-term objective is to help your community or others, you’re more likely to stick with the work than if your objective is to save up for that dream Ferrari.
Be optimistic, have hope – truly believe and expect that tomorrow will be better than today. So if you’re still learning and making mistakes, know that you’re just going to get better and better.
Join a Gritty Group – Have you heard the saying, “You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?” It’s true. Stick with diligent people and you’ll be persevering too.

*Source: http://theweek.com/articles/624204/5-researchbacked-ways-increase-grit

Workshop Wisdom

5mz_m06fc9g-roman-mager — by Roman Mager

I attended a workshop on educational leadership today. I walked away with lots of good stuff but one quote that stuck with me was:

Get what you want. Find a way.

Being a leader means helping others lead, really. Supporting others to be the best they can be is one of the biggest objectives and one of the most challenging. One vital channel to this goal is to make others feel appreciated and help them in their jobs.

Make your staff feel valued by obtaining resources that they need or want for their work. Show them that you appreciate what they do and that you consider it important. “Get what you want. Find a way.”

This is really the secret to success, isn’t it? What do you want? How can you find a way to get it?

New Beginnings

dahus8w4rne-ray-hennessy — photo by Ray Hennessy

We’re a little over a month to the New Year, but it’s never too early to think of New Beginnings. I’m not into countdowns, as that takes your mind out of the present moment. However, I believe reflection and assessing the areas of your life can be important in getting what you want. Perhaps everything is great: your marriage, the kids, and your health. But your career is flagging? Or maybe your career is going great, but your relationships are strained?

Here is a “life wheel:”

Can you identify the areas of current strength and happiness? Which area(s) would you like to address? Pinpointing your target areas is the first step to improvement.

And remember…only you can make it better!

Hustle!

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Afraid that you’re getting old and haven’t reached the “pinnacle” of your career? Anxious that your lofty goal seems out of reach while your milestone birthdays are being thrown at you? Never fear! Published in Science magazine this month, a study of over 2,800 scientists showed that most wrote their “break through” career paper after 20 years of work.

There is little correlation to age and “success.”

In fact, there are many careers that require a passel of years of experience and learning, such as “law, psychoanalysis, history, or philosophy” and the average age of summit success came at 48.

Einstein once said that if you haven’t made a discovery by the time you’re 30, you never will. But data shows that the age where scientists are making ground breaking work is getting older and older, because there is more for them to learn before they reach the area of discovery. Makes sense!**

The most important factors for success are:

ability to create time to work;
ability to collaborate successfully; and
to make sure your work gets in front of the right people at the right time.

So keep working and protect your work time.

Sources:

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/11/can-you-be-too-old-for-success.html

**http://www.nbcnews.com/id/45198217/#.Uo-c-tJDsc8

What’s Transparency?

jellyfish

I was in a workshop for educational leadership. We broke out into groups and were asked to list cultural values we would uphold as leaders. One group mentioned “transparency.”

“What does that mean?” Our instructor asked.

“You know…you get what you see,” one group member answered. She sounded feeble.

“Transparency. No secrets! You share everything…that includes your conversations about other people. When you talk about someone who isn’t there, you should only say what you’d say if they WERE there.”

This is when I realized I have worked in a lot of dysfunctional work environments. How would this affect your professional life? That is, if you stopped engaging in gossip? How about your personal life?

A Letter to the Anxious

Dear Fellow Fretter,

I’ve always been a bit high-strung. I’ve always been a worrier.

worrier

I used to spend more time worrying than taking action to stop the worry.

As I begin the last half of my life, I want to be a warrior.

warrior

I’m reading Tolle, Singer, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.

I’ve read all kinds of books and learned a lot. But I heard Elizabeth Gilbert the other day on a podcast and she said something that clicked (!)

She was talking about her writing process and she said she writes in seasons….you know, as in nature. She said something like this (totally paraphrasing): There’s the quiet (winter) phase, where’s she’s in between projects and thinking, getting inspired. Then she begins research (spring), and she writes (summer) and then does the whole marketing tour bit (fall). And the cycle begins again.

The part that struck me as shockingly KIND to herself was that she gave herself time to just think, rejuvenate, get inspired. She sees it all as an integral part of her creative process.

Wow.

You mean, you don’t have to keep working and sweating?

It made sense to me. Of COURSE, even nature takes breaks. Parts of it die in order to enable other things to grow. This applies to every career, every job, every role in life.

So yes, make your To Do lists and set goals. That is important. But be sure to take the time to relax, re-energize, and follow the cycle. Calmly get each step done. No need for stress.

Investments

“An act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.” Dictionary.com

We don’t hesitate to put a portion of our income into investment vehicles because we have faith that making the sacrifice will pay off in the future.

We don’t hesitate to enroll our children in music or sports because we know that the payoff will be great.

We don’t hesitate to support our spouses by cooking healthy meals, lending an ear and giving words of encouragement.

But…

When it comes to paying tuition, taking the courses for a degree or going for that dream job, mothers tend to look at the cost to the family and consider it too “expensive.” They say, “Not now, it’s not the right time.” Moms often don’t look at it as investment for the self.

I was talking to a good friend of mine who told me about her “dream job.” This job is just one rung away. She’s hard-working, super smart and talented. She just needs to take a test and pass it. Taking the test costs a fee. “Well, I think I should wait until the job becomes vacant. Then I’ll take the test. I don’t know that it’s a wise use of money right now.”

What?

Have you ever heard a man say that?

Invest in yourself. It’s not selfish. It’s your obligation.

Kismet

Daily Practice

career