Dip your toe in the water.
Begin your quest carefully.
But begin.
A Single Step
positive psychology
Um, Are You SURE?
Today was the first day of school!
For their time capsule, I had students answer some questions about personal preference and their current lives. They always get a kick out of their answers when they get their papers back in May.
One of the most telling signs regarding success in class is their answer to this prompt:
My personal goals for this year are:
By “personal,” I mean goals that are not school-related. “Maybe you want to run a 9 minute mile, or wake up at 6am each day….or stop eating so much junk food,” I offer.
Here are some examples of what I received. Which student(s) do you think will do well this year?
What “Countdowns” Really Mean
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Eckhart Tolle’s premise that Judging others and ourselves, Attaching (to things) and Resisting reality (JAR) all lead to unhappiness and that if you eradicate these three things, you will be happy.
Counting down to vacation, the weekend, or the end of the work day are examples of moments when we resist reality. These are opportunities to stop and think: we need to stop resisting our reality, our longing to be elsewhere.
I used to have a Countdown app. Long story, but I was in a job with a terrible boss. The job would end in 102 days. When I realized this “secret,”- that counting down was the antithesis of living with joy – I deleted the app and paid attention to my life. I did my best to enjoy every minute of the job, despite this awful boss. And I really began to love it!
Enjoy your present moment. Our lives are made of a chain of present moments, right? One right after another….this makes up a lifetime.
I was eating lunch with someone. She said, “I wonder what we’ll have for dinner.” Don’t do that. Fully enjoy your lunch. Dinner will happen when it happens. “But I have to plan it. I have to think about it beforehand, it doesn’t just happen,” you say. True. But while you eat your lunch, eat your lunch. Enjoy each bite. Being fully present for each bite…realizing when you are full and stopping…this is the best “diet.” When it comes time to plan your dinner, do it. And plan your dinner, but only do that. Be fully present. Be happy.
We were driving to violin lessons today. It’s a 45 minute drive. The car in front of us was crossing the line and coming back. The car in the other lane could not advance because of this. I thought, “Either this driver is drunk, or texting.” We passed the car and I saw the driver looking at his lap, obviously on his phone. How dangerous! We saw several people driving in this manner.
Multi-tasking is not only the enemy of happiness and excellent work, it can also cost lives.
So do not countdown to the next thing. Do not do two things at the same time. Slow down. Relax. Be mindful. This is the secret to happiness.
It’s OK
We all ought to be more like dogs, if we want to live joyful lives and be good people.
“I can’t walk you this morning, I’m running late.”
“It’s OK.”
“You will have to be all alone today, for 9 hours. I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK.”
“We ran out of your favorite treats, so no treats for you today.”
“It’s OK. I can still rub my back on the carpet and meditate.”
The Bad News and the Good News
There’s a lot of bad news out there. The splash page of CNN.com, MSNBC.com and NYTimes.com read like the eve of Armageddon.
But there is also a lot of good news. News you don’t hear. Somebody rescued a dog today. Another person volunteered at a soup kitchen. Several students volunteered at a school and welcomed new students, serving them pizza today.
There is a lot of good out there.
And the BEST news: YOU have control of what you read and hear and DO.
Don’t watch the news. Don’t read it.
Make it.
Surround yourself with positive people. And help someone today.
Purpose Vs. Passion
I just listened to a great podcast with Brian Johnson and Ryan Holiday (The Ego is the Enemy). One great take away (out of many) was the idea that using purpose as fuel for motivation is much more powerful and longer lasting than “passion.”
Often, you’ll hear that you need to find your passion. And that the passion will ensure that you reach your goals. But I’m sure you’ve had days where you didn’t feel that passion and then….you find yourself watching TV or Internet surfing or going out for drinks with friends instead of working on your “passion.”
If you focus on your purpose instead, your motivation goes deeper.
Let’s try an example. Let’s say you feel your passion is music. You practice your instrument and tell yourself that, at last, you’ve found your passion. At last! Now your life has meaning. You practice every single day, happy to be known as The Musician. You audition for a group and you don’t make it. What? But it’s your passion. How could this happen? You practice some more. Audition again. With each rejection, your resolve fades. Maybe this isn’t what you’re supposed to do…maybe you aren’t passionate enough.
But what if you tell yourself that your purpose is to play your best music and bring happiness to others through music? Yes, this is my purpose, you say. So you practice. You audition for parts and you do your very best. You don’t make it. That’s okay, you say. I’m going to keep playing and I’m going to play at the Alzheimer’s home each Saturday, because they always enjoy it. With each audition, you get better. At last, you make it. But you have felt joy all along, because you knew what your purpose was and it was detached from ego.
Purpose is more pure and more enduring than passion as a motivator (but there’s nothing wrong with having both)!
Why Finish Strong?
“Finish strong!”
If you’ve ever run a marathon (or half of one)….
or participated in a fitness class….
You hear this exclamation: Finish strong!
But why finish strong? Do people just say it so you don’t quit?
What’s wrong with 80 or 90% completion? Running 80% of a marathon is still running 20.96 miles. That’s a really long distance. Most people would commend you just for that. Most people would say you’re a super star. Most people don’t even give 50%.
But you would know you quit.
You would know that you didn’t quite finish.
And then you’ve created a bit of distrust in yourself.
When you create distrust (in yourself), you create self-doubt. And then you are less likely to take risks or complete tasks.
So, it’s important that you finish strong. A lot rides on it!
True Beauty
True Beauty exerts and sweats
she’s strong and flexible
she’s persevering and unstoppable
she likes to eat (!)
she’s assertive
outspoken
positive
active
opinionated
creative
resourceful
and
relentlessly, tirelessly, defiantly
independent
Failure
“Jumping from failure to failure with undiminished enthusiasm is the big secret to success.” Savas Dimopoulos
Dr. Dimopoulos is a prize-winning particle physicist at Stanford.
This quote was just what I needed as I’ve failed at many things this past year and felt a sense of discouragement with each defeat.
However, if a friend of mine had called and commiserated her misery, I would enthusiastically tell her to KEEP GOING!
So I will. And so shall you. Keep working hard and doing the right thing.
Here’s to UNDIMINISHED ENTHUSIASM!
Celebrate every effort you make. Let’s disco!
What If….
What if you added this to today’s goals:
“….with presence and care.”
For example, “Today, I will attend present at the sales meeting with presence and care.”
Or,
“I will work with my subcontractors to complete this project with presence and care.”
I believe you will see a difference in how your day goes, for the better.
My daughter Josie (often the illustrator for my blog), created this clay dog tonight with presence and care.
Cool, huh?
Kismet 