Author: chungwipff

Friday’s Nitty Gritty

Get-Rich-Quick Schemes

Crash Diets

New Year’s Resolutions

 

These don’t work. There’s no way to reach lofty goals except to work hard.  In fact, exceptional goals all require one factor: Grit.

Angela Duckworth coined the term when she distinguished the difference between her 7th grade public school math students who excelled those who didn’t. She also noticed this difference between her colleagues and herself – some of her co-workers had become experts over 20 years studying the same subject. Although she was always achievement-minded, Duckworth felt her work was much less focused on any one area. She defines this special characteristic “grit” – “a passionate commitment to a single mission and an unswerving dedication to achieve that mission.” (Paul Tough, How Children Succeed)

Duckworth created a 12 question grit survey. Answers to questions such as: “New ideas and projects sometimes distract me from previous ones” were answered by a 1 to 5 point scale responses (1 = not like me at all to 5 = very much like me). Although the surveys were self-administered, they found the results to be quite accurate and indicative of future success. In fact, they administered it to 1200 military cadets at West Point. Out of several other tests used to predict graduation rates, Duckworth’s 12 question survey was the most predictive.

Why does this matter? Perhaps because so much has always weighed on IQ or “intelligence.” If one can harness the power of grit, one can achieve anything.

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An Ava Wipff Creation  7/1/16

 

 

 

Writing Accountability

Having a hard time getting regular about writing?

Natalie Goldberg suggests you hook up with a fellow (local) writer. Tell her/him that you’ll meet ’em at the local coffee shop at 3pm. When they say they can’t meet, stop them and say, “No, no. I don’t want to know whether you’ll be there or not. I will go and write whether you’re there or not.” You continue this way: email, text, call your friend and make a writing date and keep it no matter what.

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You could also blog or publish your work every day and tell everyone you know that you’ll be publishing daily. Believe me, there’s nothing like being held publicly accountable!

Seth Godin has excellent tips on doing this. In fact, I started writing my blog again (following a long absence) after reading about his philosophy. Godin encourages you to write every day – even badly – because it will get your brain working to think crisply, analytically, every day. You notice things more. He’s right!

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And if that monkey mind starts to chatter (“This isn’t good… people won’t like this, etc.”) tell that monkey that it is far easier to criticize than to create!

19 Years

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June 28, 1997 – We get married!  After a 2 ½ year courtship.

The first year of marriage is traditionally themed “Paper” and this is quite apropos as we work to zero your credit card debt. Most of our income goes to MasterCard and Visa.

In what will become the beginning of a pattern, you help me recover from adversity. I am in a car accident right before the wedding which requires orthoscopic ACL reattachment of my left knee, but you are there for me.

Year 2 = Cotton – 1998 – We walk to the corner market, cook dinner, dance and love life. Cotton symbolizes the intertwining and flexibility a couple has for each other. We learn to give and bend.

2000 – Buy our first house on Mt. Vernon. It has the original electrical from the 1920’s. I can’t toast bread and dry my hair at the same time, but it’s ours, all ours!

Theme: Fruits and Flowers 2001 – Four years of marital bliss!  We take our first trip to Italy together to celebrate John’s 40th.  [We drink lots of delicious “grape juice” and take in all the gorgeous flowers of Italy.]

2002 – Our beloved Josephine Choonja Wipff is born!  Traditional Theme: Wood  – Like the deep roots of an old oak tree. We are a strong family.

2003 – Ava Oksoon Wipff is born!  Traditional Theme: Candy.  Our life is definitely sweet.

 

2006 – moved to AZ, against your wishes. If a marriage has ups and downs, this is our “down.” But we get through it. Theme: Pottery and Willow – Our marriage continues to be the product of our choices and experiences, fired in the “oven of adversity.”

2007 – The girls begin violin lessons with Mrs. Lia Taylor, violin teacher extraordinaire. It’s the beginning of a beautiful relationship. You are starting to like – maybe love? – Arizona’s deserts, natural beauty and space.

 

2010 – I am diagnosed with breast cancer. We are scared. But we weigh the options. I want the cancer OUT! So I opt for a radical bilateral mastectomy. 13 years of marriage and the theme is lace – beautiful, yet strong.

2011 – Ivory – represents fidelity and purity. We have a good taste of the part “for worse” in a marriage by now. And we stick together, help each other through job layoffs and my six surgeries for breast reconstruction. I cry tears of joy (yes, joy!) as I drive to a class to complete my Master’s degree with drains hanging from my chest, under my shirt. I know I am so fortunate to have you…..the girls…this life.

2014 – Furniture is the  is the theme for the 17th year of marriage. Hm. Furniture? We have plenty. We both have the uncanny talent for choosing furniture that is too large for our house.

2015 – Porcelain can be simple or complex. We are decidedly simple. Wrinkles and gray hair are starting to form…our memories are starting to fade. Fortunately, when you say, “Oh, there’s that actress…you know…from that one movie….with that one guy….” I look at the screen and and I completely understand you. See? We no longer need words.

2016 – Our 19th, baby!  Bronze. We shall patina beautifully, my love.

 

 

 

Monday Meditation

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Bryan Kest

I practice yoga at home. I don’t practice enough, but when I do, I like Bryan Kest’s Power Yoga video.

My favorite part of the practice is when he says:

“It’s not WHAT you do, but HOW you do what you do.” 

He says it slowly and it makes me think every time. Yes, how you do what you do.

Example #1:

Your server at the restaurant carefully places the plate in front of you, smiles and wordlessly refills your glass.

OR…

Your server brusquely sets your plate down and hurries off to the next table.

Example #2:

Your daughter tells you a story and you listen while looking at your cell phone. She feels like an after thought.

OR…

You give your daughter full attention – eyes and ears – as she tells you a story. She feels loved and respected.

We have our “to do” lists. We have jobs that have to be done. We do these action items day after day and they build up to weeks, months and years. This is called “our life.” There is no end to the things that need to be done. But the quality of our life is in the how of what we’ve done on a consistent basis.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Funnies #3

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A Josie Wipff Creation    6/26/16

Whenever we are out and about, Josie will spot a hole-in-the-wall pseudo-Asian restaurant with a neon sign advertising “Teriyaki”. She inevitably exclaims, “Teriyaki, mom! Please? Let’s try that place?”  She loves teriyaki chicken so much, she once told me she had a dream that she was eating it and when she work up, she was smacking her lips.

The last time I relented, she said:

“Is there a place called Teriyaki? Because if there is, I’m SO going there.”

Story with a Korean Recipe

 

 

Hello dear reader,

I decided to make Saturday posts about Korean food. Even if you don’t particularly like Korean food, maybe you could still find it interesting.

Problem:  I’m not a food expert. My mother cooks the Korean food I eat. Or I go to Hodori. What can I offer my valued readers? Well, I have memories I can share with you and a recipe from a food expert (complete with citation).

The story:

It was a very horrible, no-good, very bad day. I was going to a new school. My mother had just cut my hair. I was wearing Winnie-the-Pooh overalls. I entered the class where my teacher introduced it. I was confused because right before she said my name, all the boys cheered and the girls remained silent. “Please help our new student Caroline feel welcome.” Everyone looked at each other. That’s a girl?!

Everyone pretty much ignored me that day. I ate lunch alone. There were whispers and I heard the word “Chinese” over and over again. I’m not Chinese! I wanted to yell.  I hated school.

When I came home, I was met with the warm, rich smells of mom’s cooking. She hugged me in the kitchen and put a plate of beef chun in front of me. She made some with jalapenos (for dad) and some with out (for the kids).

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Did I tell her about my day? No. I didn’t tell her about it. We didn’t do that in my family. I just ate the beef chun.

This is a high protein, delicious plate.

I love, love, love this website for Korean food. It’s published and run by a very cool Korean chick named Maangchi. She was born in Korea and knows her food. Here is her recipe for “beef pancakes” or beef chun. YUM! I will be posting recipes and stories related to vegetarian dishes, too, never fear.

 

 

“Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow”

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Dear struggling summer school student (about to enter 5th grade),

I was your summer school teacher for 3 weeks, 3 hours each day. Today, I said goodbye to you.

I (hope) you learned from me:

  • the value of working hard;
  • the importance of basic skills (math facts);
  • learning can be fun;
  • you are capable of so much more than you think you are, truly.
  • never, ever give up.

 

I learned from you:

  • a few of you are wracked with emotional pain (dad is in jail, parents are divorcing, etc.);
  • you like learning to be fun and you’re quick to learn;
  • you have some amazing teachers at your school (!);
  • “arm” in Spanish is brazo;
  • your lack of sleep might have to do with the violence on your street, late at night;
  • you hope to be the first in your family to go to college.

 

Work hard. Never give up. And you shall make it there.

 

 

Your Fossilized Remains

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Ancient Insects Preserved in Amber *

 

Fossilized remains show us what living creatures were doing at time of death. We can learn from fossils: climate,  diet, relationships, social structures (even of insects).

Chances are, you won’t be an actual fossil. Unless you’re caught up in something really dramatic, sudden and devastating, like the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius in Pompeii (79 A.D.) However, you will leave a legacy. What will it be? Works of art? Enlightening music, film or novels?  Or a career of corruption? Maybe you will leave lives richer for your kindness?

My great, great, grandparents lived in Korea. Everything they did affected their children, which affected their children and so on until you have me. Here. In America. My father made the decision to not be like his father, who basically failed at fatherhood: gambled, left the family in debt, etc. My father chose to do the opposite. Because of his decisions and hard work, my siblings, mother, father and I are able to live in the Land of Opportunity.

Whatever you do, whatever you leave, it’s not permanent, but it does count.

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Pompeii victim plaster cast

 

Citations:

*http://blog.everythingdinosaur.co.uk/blog/_archives/2013/09/page/2

**http://tinyurl.com/hrmzu4d

 

 

 

 

When You’re Remarkable (Koi Boys)

 

When you’re remarkable (really, really, really good), you can:

  • improvise instead of practicing rote;
  • have more fun with “it” (whatever the work is);
  • collaborate with others and contribute more;
  • work with other remarkable people;
  • learn from the best;
  • reach new heights in your field;
  • widen your Circle of Influence

all it takes is a ton of dedication, focus and work

Simple!

Example of Remarkable Talent: The Koi Boys