Mirror

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Stage I: Messy Art Journaling

 

Hey there, preening girl!

“beauty” is destined to flee

“Real You” will remain

 

About this poem: as I age and raise teenage daughters, I realize the stage where I was distracted by the issue of physical appearance played a “hyped up” role in identity.  All that time and energy directed toward something I was really not in control of could have been invested in cello playing, writing or reading a good book.

I’m also keenly aware that I still care more than I would like to – I exercise now with the goal of building and keeping muscle/strength but aesthetics still has some play in my intentions.

Our culture idolizes the young, which is silly because being young is fleeting and not based on wisdom or experience. It’s just dumb luck.

 

 

 

Legacy

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Parakeet – Daily Painting Challenge (Animals, Day 5)

Sitting with my daughter “Bunny” by the pool

we talk about Kate Spade’s suicide and sadness we’ve never known

Bunny’s hair is fanned all over the pool deck, her clear eyes to the sky

Spade wrote a letter to her 13-year-old daughter

telling her it wasn’t her fault

my words ride the waves of the pool and get sucked into the filter

Looking at Bunny, the note seems an especially cruel gesture

In the distance, we can hear a woodpecker on aluminum siding

Maternal Meditation

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Day 20 of 31 Day Painting Challenge (Creativebug.com)

Motherhood To Dos:

change their diapers

anticipate their needs

hug and kiss through tears

teach them to be strong

 

allow them to feel pain

buy them clothes

(and school supplies and prom tickets and flowers for their first crush)

listen as they complain about school, frenemies and hormones

 

bite your tongue when they complain about you

And that’s why there’s an “Om” in “Mom”

 

 

Sleep

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Fatigue can lead to irritability…which can lead to arguments with others. It also hinders our ability to focus and feel good physically.

Interesting fact: “Sleep deprivation was a factor in some of the biggest disasters in recent history: the 1979 nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, the massive Exxon Valdez oil spill, the 1986 nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl, and others.” (WebMd)

Your sleeping habits affect everything you do. So consider getting a minimum of 7 hours of sleep every night!

 

Mean Girls

My 15-year-old daughter went to the bathroom at school today. She didn’t feel well. There was another girl in there – a waif with thin blond hair who looked like she was on meth.  The Daughter felt self-conscious, barfing into the toilet.  Outside her stall, the waif snickered. Suddenly, the lights went out. The door slammed shut.

Shrouded in darkness, she had to feel her way around to the light switch. Retching and bewildered, she cried. She’s still out there, waiting to see my reaction.

So when the tears stopped, she rinsed her face.

The waif was waiting. The Daughter walked out, head held high.

As she told me the story, she started to shake.

“Why did she do that, mom? She knew I was sick. She could have asked if I was OK and if I needed anything. Why would she do that? Why would she be so mean?”

I didn’t know what to say. Mean people have always existed, like cockroaches. They’re vile, but they must serve a purpose somehow.

“It wasn’t you. It was her. This was not personal, she didn’t even know you. She’s obviously very unhappy and wounded.” I hugged her and told I was sorry that it happened.

I was aware of several facts all at once:

  • that I wanted to exact revenge on The Waif;
  • that mean people will hurt my children and everyone I love many times over;
  • that we will never know why people do cruel things; and
  • that I have very little control over anything.

All we can do is be our best and be kind and provide love and comfort to each other.

And practice drawing octopodes.

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