The lunch ladies at our school want to drum up more business. They asked me to distribute surveys to see what kids want and what would impel them to purchase school lunch. Here are some of their responses:
Personal Success
Diction Directs Your Day
I’ve got to go to work
vs.
I get to go to work.
Read the first one. How do you feel physically?
Now read the second one (without sarcasm, please)! How does that feel?
which one feels more empowering?
The Compost in My Garden
compost [kom-pohst]
1.a mixture of various decaying organic substances, as dead leaves or manure, used for fertilizing soil.*
Every green thumb gardener knows that her garden needs rich soil in order to grow bright, brilliant plants. Compost enriches soil but it is stinky and takes time to degrade and cultivate. The compost of my life’s garden (thus far) consists of (but is not limited to):
- Kids taunting me with “chink” when I walked home from school
- Every grade I ever received other than an “A”
- my first heartbreak
- the deaths of my grandparents, sister-in-law and friends
- breast cancer and the six surgeries that followed
- every awful job and boss I ever had
- every workout that pushed me to the brink of insanity
- the police officer at my high school football game who hatefully asked me if I speak English
- scooter/car accident right before my wedding (I had to wear a leg brace under my wedding dress)
- my mentor’s suicide
Let us not dwell on our past, but let us celebrate our survival. It is pain and loss that molds us into the strong people we are.
Resources:
*Dictionary.com
unsplash.com
Terms and Conditions
When you buy a new cell phone with service or sign up with WordPress, you have to sign a contract called “Terms and Conditions” regarding use. Basically, you agree to a set of rules and guidelines in order to use the app/website/service. What they don’t say is that they want to make clear the limits of your use. If you go over certain minutes, a fee is charged. If you call across state lines, another fee. If you don’t pay on time…you get the picture.
As you live your life, you have your own set of Terms and Conditions. There are things you won’t do (most of us won’t risk prison in order to steal groceries). And there are things you will do (work a steady 9 to 5 for a paycheck instead of pursuing your dream of entrepreneurship). You have set limits in how you live your life. Some are important, but others may require re-thinking.
Your life, as it is now, is what you’ve chosen.
It’s an amalgam of your life circumstances and your choices, certainly. But your decisions have been the forks of your life which led you here.
You might argue. You may deny.
But it’s true. And the first step in making things better is to take responsibility for your actions. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
Secondly, be grateful. You are fortunate. If you’re reading this, you have access to the Internet. When you live in a state of gratitude, you’re more likely to attract positivity.
Thirdly, be aware that YOU set the Terms and Conditions of your life.
Don’t like your job? Leave. But, I have to pay the bills….I didn’t get a college degree.
Excuses.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is abusive? Leave. But I’m afraid…I don’t want to be alone.
Get over it. (And really, you’d rather be with someone who calls you names than be alone?)
What are the Terms and Conditions of your life? Are any of them limiting you?
Losing “Everything”
Ellen DeGeneres decided to come out of the closet in 1997. She was at the top of her game at the time, starring in her popular “The Ellen Show.”
Why did she take the risk? Because she felt it was important -and healthier – than living in fear or denial of who she really was. The “secret” made her feel as if she was wrong and she knew she was right.
So she came out as the real Ellen and then had her character come out on the show.
What happened?
She lost her show. No one would call her. She got no gigs.
Three years.
For three years, she was stripped of all the external factors of identity: no career or the benefits that come with it. Not only that, some of her previous fans berated her and judged her. Christian groups picketed her studio and mentioned God while acting very un-Christian. Studios wouldn’t touch her.
You realize who you really are when you don’t have anything. – Ellen
And then “Finding Dory” came along. Ellen also got her own new talk show. She’s immensely popular all over again. Only now, she has no secrets.
Does she regret coming out?
NOT AT ALL.
“It’s the best -because I’m free.
I’m completely able to be exactly who I am.”*
*http://www.upi.com/Entertainment_News/TV/2011/10/04/DeGeneres-doesnt-regret-coming-out-as-gay/74651317701340/
You Be You
It’s cliche – “Just be yourself.”
Most of us don’t really know what that means, or we believe that “being ourselves” isn’t good enough for xyz.
But if you focus on just being the best you that you can be, you’ll find that you naturally are more innovative, creative, original. Because you’re not expending any energy to fit a mold or be like someone else.
So, think outside the box. But look within.
The Universe
When it comes down to it, aren’t we each just a flash in the pan*?
*flash in the pan
-
a thing or person whose sudden but brief success is not repeated or repeatable.
Not Better, Just Different
My husband, daughters and I frequent a gelato place called Dolce Vita. It’s owned and operated by an Italian immigrant and his wife. They sell authentic Italian groceries, and prepare food from scratch, including the BEST gelato you could ever eat. Walter is the quintessential snob. He’s not afraid to be snooty with you and if you complain too much, you’ll be kicked out of his shop for life.
He mocks some of his troublesome American customers:
“Hm, what does this pear gelato taste like?”
In his thick Italian accent, he answers snidely, “Vaneeela!”
Another stupid question: “Which one is better, the Nutella gelato or the pineapple gelato?”
“It’s no better, just diffeh-rant!”
This reminded me of so many times I hear parents compare their children. I was compared a lot, to my siblings. It never made any of us feel good.
How can you compare human beings? It’s like comparing Nutella to pineapple gelato!
We do this alot, don’t we? We compare ourselves to others. How’s this working for you? You’re comparing an apple to oranges! Suggestion: stop comparing. If you’re going to be in competition so that you can improve, compete against yourself. Be better tomorrow than you were today. Simple.
Stop the madness and be joyful.
First Things First
Life happens. Your best laid plans can go awry. And that’s OK.
Make sure you schedule the most important thing for the first thing – so you increase the chances of getting it done.
It’s winter, so it’s dark and cold in the morning. But I force myself out of bed, don my workout clothes, and exercise before I face my students. Working out gets my endorphins going and I feel calm the rest of the day. Just about anything can happen and I’ll feel capable of handling it.
“First things first,” is what Stephen Covey always espoused. It’s all about priorities.
What’s the most important thing for you to do tomorrow? How can you ensure that it happens?
Subtraction, Not Addition
You’re bored. You’re anxious. You’re angry or you’re sad.
You think you’ll be happy if…you get that new job, a raise, new clothes, a new car…
But actually, you already have everything you need to be happy.
Any sign of discontent means you need to SUBTRACT something: stress, work load, self-expectations, junk food, social engagements…THOUGHTS.
Thoughts can be our enemy. Thoughts can drive you crazy. As Mickey Singer (The Surrender Experiment) points out, “anyone who has ever committed suicide did so through thoughts.”
So if you’re anything less than happy right now, consider subtracting something in your life.
Kismet 