“Nobody makes you upset. Your mind makes you upset. It’s time to ask the question, Why do I allow people or experiences or things to determine how I’m going to think, feel, or act?”
“The problem is my thinking, it’s not my body.”
“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.”
“Well, yeah. I’m right…and they are…wrong.”
Kevin felt something in his chameleon gut. It all felt untrue.
Lily just kept eating.
“OK, maybe they’re not completely at fault. Maybe I get hot-headed and too passionate.”
Lily continued to look into his eyes, listening to him.
There was no judgment, anger or fear in her eyes. She was listening to him, completely.
*From my next book, Kevin the Complainer
“If you had everything in the material world (ambition, power, money), would that bring you happiness?
Go back in time when you got something you really wanted. Were you happy? How long did it last?
You can be happy without anything achieved through ambition. So why not skip that step and just be joyous?”
I showed my husband this illustration for my next book, Kevin the Complainer. This is Ms. Meretta, Kevin’s teacher. (My favorite teacher of all time was Ms. Meretta and she’s becoming a mainstay in all my books!)
Husband – sans glasses – squints. Awkward wait time follows.
At last he says, “Oh! I thought that was a chestnut!”
This is the very best article I have ever read on marriage. It’s by Byron Katie.
If you are ready, reading this will feel like sitting in the light of truth.
It will feel like bathing in authenticity.
If you’re ready, reading this article can change all of your relationships – for the better.
My favorite line:
There’s no way to truly join your partner except by getting free of your belief that you need something from him that he’s not giving.
I was raised on conditions. I had to prove my worth in order to be loved. And I grew up and did the same to those I loved. I think this is the root of many dysfunctional relationships.