“When you’re grateful, you can’t be angry.
When you’re grateful, you can’t be worried.
Anger and fear are what screw people up most…in their relationships and in their business.”
In the airport, waiting to depart
What’s this? Our flight’s been delayed
Five hours (!) – Why? It’s raining in Phoenix
Disappointment, fear and anger encroach
Is there any other way to get home sooner?
I ask the counter lady
I’m sorry, all flights are backed up
I laugh then, because her name tag reads “Zen”
Wow. Lots of profanity tonight from my husband, the 49er fan.
“Who would you be without your suffering*?”
*suffering = anxious, sad, worried, angry, resentful…
Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.
We might experience far fewer relationship conflicts if we look at those who lash out as those who are in pain…because they are. This is how we practice equanimity.
Anger is a huge ego inflator. Lashing out is an attempt to make someone feel guilty. And then your ego feels superior. But it’s not helpful to you or the recipient. It simply creates more drama.
Too often, we confuse “anger” with power. Anger is fear-based. It is never necessary.
Intelligent, creative action can only arise from calmness.
Whenever I give a knee-jerk reaction, I almost always regret it. Yet I’ve never regretted deleting the impassioned email or biting my tongue until I can address the issue calmly.
Try this: Next time you are offended (which is just your perception of offensive behavior, by the way), do not react. Think about the action or words. Decide if they are true or not. And react calmly (e.g., “Interesting. No, I do not agree.” Or, “I think you might be right!“)