love

Thank you (고맙습니다)

 

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Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you for all the piano and cello lessons. Music has been a lifelong passion of mine and speaks to me in all facets of my life. I’ve developed a deep appreciation for it and (hope) I’ve passed that on to my daughters. You sacrificed money and time for us and now I’m doing the same.

Thank you for the Tae Kwon Do lessons. It was hard and it must have been difficult for you to watch Jojo, John and me kicking and punching and getting beat up by grown ups in class. When we broke boards, we felt a new found satisfaction in our focus and power.

Thank you for not allowing us to quit, even when we cried.

Thank you for encouraging and allowing us to work in the cornfields of DeKalb, IL. We got cut by the sharp leaves of the stalks. We sweat and walked 12-14 hours a day during “peak.” But we learned the value of hard work and the true value of money.

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Thank you for allowing us to ride our bikes all over town and for speaking in Korean in the house and pushing Korean food on us, when we just wanted McDonald’s. We came to appreciate different spices and vegetables and it’s a lot healthier, too.

Thank you for not going easy on us.We learned to handle disappointments, heartache, and pain. I was able to handle difficult bosses, financial stress and cancer because you allowed us to become strong and tough. Thank you.

 

 

 

How to Fall in Love Again

megwdige

I met my husband at a party. He made me laugh with his amazing ability to do impressions of famous people. He could do perfect Irish accents.  On one of our dates to an Irish bar in San Francisco, we met a couple Irish tourists. Willey spoke to them with an Irish brogue and they asked him which part of Ireland he was from!

It’s 22+ years later:

22 years is a long time. Nights at bars gave way to babies, cancer (and recovery), school activities, music lessons, mortgages, bills and retirement plans. The impressions and carefree days faded away. We had have responsibilities.

I threw my husband a surprise birthday party for his 50th last night.

Relatives and friends flew in from out of state. Local friends attended the party. We had a great time. One of our guests was from Australia. Suddenly, Willey was from the Outback, talking like the Crocodile Hunter. We all gathered around him, laughing. And I saw him. I saw us.

I saw our future, our hopes, our dreams, our joy.

And it all came true: We have a home, dear friends and family, beautiful children.

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When life is ebbing instead of flowing, remember the high tide. Remember what made you fall in love. It’s always there.

 

 

 

 

How to Talk to Teenagers

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I was talking to a friend who is also a mom. She was concerned about her daughter and who she’s been hanging out with at school and on weekends. My friend is divorced, so half the time she has absolutely no control over her child’s social activities. (The father is much looser with supervision).

We discussed the challenges of parenthood in an age where our kids can maintain a full social calendar in virtual reality.

We discussed peer pressure. Cattiness. Meanness.

We discussed drug and alcohol abuse among 13 (yes, 13) year-olds.

We discussed how kids are sneaking out of the house at 1am and trespassing in other people’s yards and pools. Here in Arizona  America, where guns are ubiquitous, I can see someone shooting one of these kids in the dark. Absolutely. Unfortunately.

We discussed the very fine line between parenting and controlling.

I thought to myself, how lucky I am to have daughters who get excellent grades and work hard at everything. How lucky I am to have daughters who talk to me, show me silly Instagram posts and get along with each other so well.

And then I realized that I rarely tell them this. I think it a lot. I tell my friends and family. But I don’t tell my daughters to their face how I know it’s challenging to be them right now. I don’t acknowledge the dangers, pitfalls and temptations that they have in terms of technology, risky behavior and drugs. Instead, I tell them to not buy into society’s pressures to be “pretty” and primp in front of the mirror. I tell them that they need to learn how to manage money, or it will manage them. I tell them it’s important to get good grades and do well in music so that they can get college scholarships.

But today, I acknowledged them. I acknowledged the hard work, the struggle, the pain…and that I appreciate their fight. The 13-year-old looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I love you, mom.”

 

 

Make Your Own Motivational Poster: Tip #9

 

The final tip Daniel Pink offers in his book Drive is to Create Your Own Motivational Poster. I know, it sounds lame, but I played around with it and it’s incredibly fun.

Try these sites:

http://diy.despair.com/

http://bighugelabs.com/motivator.php

wigflip.com/automotivator/

I made my Kismet poster using bighugelabs.com. It was very easy.

Try it!

Motivational Jump Starts: Tip #7

Daniel Pink’s Drive shows that mastery requires “deliberate practice” which is not simply consistency of work, but “very purposeful, focused and…painful” work.

Five steps to mastery:

  1. Deliberate practice includes changing your performance and setting new goals, not simply doing the same thing over and over again (Pink, 158).
  2. Repetition matters. “Basketball greats don’t shoot ten free throws…they shoot five hundred.”
  3. Seek constant, critical feedback.
  4. Focus on your weaknesses and how you can get better.
  5. Prepare for an arduously exhausting mental and physical process. This is why so few succeed. Not too many people commit this strongly. Will you?

 

 

Esther, Mia and the Stars

I’ve written a children’s book. My daughters are my illustrators.

I’ve written the story.

I’m working on formatting it for publishing.

It’s about a girl who is bullied and how her best friend and teacher help her school turn it around.

Here is one of the illustrations:

Esther and Mia on a blanket
Esther and Mia, by Josie Wipff 

After the illustrations and stories were done, I just let it sit…for months. I need to take the next steps of getting it published.

Writing about it on my blog will make me accountable. Tell me to do it. Yell at me! I need a push.

 

 

“Pitiful” Passionate Pundits

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I’m sitting here at Mesa Community College (Red Mountain campus) while my daughter takes a reading test for dual enrollment credit (Spanish).

I love college campuses. I love schools. You’re surrounded by people who are trying to do better. Even if you’re a student and you don’t enjoy it, you’re actively working toward a goal. There is a vibrant, energetic, optimistic atmosphere within colleges. Administrators, professors, teachers…everyone is here to help.

 

The most potent role models in my life were teachers. My father (a professor), my mother (a natural teacher of life) and Ms. Meretta (my 3rd grade teacher).

I want to give a shout out to my fellow teachers.

I’m really proud to be a part of an educational team. Our culture lauds profits and high incomes. But I get to work with people who care, who work hard and feel satisfied just helping kids. Teachers are the hardest working people I have ever known.

Tonight, my eldest daughter said, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I don’t want to be a teacher. They don’t get paid ANYTHING.” That makes me a little sad, but I understand it. We really don’t pay teachers enough. Will this ever change in America? I don’t think so…not in my lifetime, anyway.

 

Still….

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