You don’t have to be “moody.”
You don’t have to be ultra “proud” of your children, your spouse or your possessions.
You don’t have to react to everything…or anything.
You can choose to live within the band of happiness no matter the context or situation.
The next time something great happens, say, “thank you.”
The next time something “bad” happens, say “thank you.”
This is how to be fully present and truly happy all of the time.
#1: When your computer breaks down and you have to type and publish your blog on your cell phone, ROAR like a lion.
#2: When the bonus they promised to deliver in December gets postponed to February, ROAR like a lion.
#3: When Pinterest tells you that someone in Russia has hacked your account and you can’t reset your password (see #1), ROAR like a lion.
#4: When you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, angry or depressed, ROAR like a lion.
Or…close your eyes, breathe deeply and know everything is fine.
Holidays. Busyness. Stress.
Don’t forget that stress and complaining are choices. Complaining is a form of denying reality*. It also makes you sound like a victim. You don’t want that, do you?
Below are my drawings for today. They are incomplete. I helped my daughter learn how to drive today. Someone honked at her loudly as she paused at the red light, uncertain if she should go or not. She got stressed. And then we went out to help her buy her boyfriend a birthday gift. She worried it wasn’t enough. I assured her that her thoughtfulness in choosing the gifts was what really counted.
I am now at my other daughter’s high school concert. When all is said and done, I will have been here with her for six hours. I didn’t get to complete my drawing or get my workout in or get any holiday shopping done. Oh well. But I did get to have a wonderful lunch with her between two concerts and talk about everything she wanted to share with me. We ate and talked and ate and talked and then we had enough time to buy makeup from Target before going back for her final performance.
It’s all good. I’m grateful I can do these things – be completely present for each of my daughters…and be completely present while I draw my funny-looking lizards.
For so long, the world seemed like a bleak and hopeless place
my days were blotted with sorrow and fear
but I stopped fighting reality, I cleaned my own lenses
all is good and light now that my vision is clear
The answer might not be “speed up.” The solution might be to slow down.
When you’re a kid, you think everyone’s home and family is like yours. This changes when you “spend the night” at your friend’s house and realize that she doesn’t eat kimchi and rice. And her family goes bowling on weekends. And her parents don’t make her do extra math problems after completing her homework.
It took me a long time to discover that anxiety and depression are not normal – that, in fact – they are states of suffering. It took me a long time to learn this because there was so much disquietude and tension everywhere: in my house, in her house…
It is everywhere:
“Anxiety disorders are the most common type of mental illness in the U.S. They affect over 40 million adults (18 and older) or nearly 20% of the entire population every year.”(ADAA)*
AND…
“Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.” (ADAA)*
I know that all kinds of people have all kinds of disorders and that medication might be the only solution for a small percentage of the population. But I also believe that far too many of us want a quick fix in the form of a pill.
Anti-anxiety drugs, or “anxiolytics,” are powerful central nervous system (CNS) depressants that can slow normal brain function. They are often prescribed to reduce feelings of tension and anxiety, and/or to bring about sleep. Anti-anxiety medications are among the most abused drugs in the United States, obtained both legally, via prescription, and illegally, through the black market. These drugs are also known as sedatives. (Mind Disorders)**
Before considering drugs, let us try all the other options:
…just to name a few natural alternatives!
Citations:
*Anxiety and Depression Association of America (https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics)
** Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/A-Br/Anti-anxiety-drugs-and-abuse.html#ixzz4zZvioxv3
“There is a big difference between having an opinion and being in the grips of an opinion.”
Eckhart Tolle
the good thing about the night
is that morning always comes
perhaps if you hug your nightmares
and laugh in their face
they will shrink back
in fear of you
Student Council member: “We didn’t get out Student Council t-shirts in time for Club Picture Day?”
Me: “No, they haven’t arrived.”
StuCo member: “Wow. That’s a problem. That’s a real issue.”
Me: “No, it’s not. We’ll get them when we get them. We will take our pictures wearing what we’re wearing and smile. It is what it is.”
At first blush, this sounds like a negative and cold response. But diving deeper, you can see that “It is what it is” is actually a great way to deflect negativity. Why stew about something that we cannot help? Why feel bad and see “no t-shirts” as a problem? There is no solution except to accept it, happily.
This doesn’t apply to areas where there might be a solution of course. I am a proponent of seeking creative solutions to any and all problems. But in cases where there is nothing to be done, why fret?
S
Your car gets towed, you have $21 in your checking account and your spouse left you.
Kick drama to the curb. This is life. No such thing as a problem.
Just handle it: Surrender the car to the towing facility. Or borrow money to get it out. You have minimal funds. Do you need to get a second job? Start a yard sale? Your spouse is leaving. Take care of your own finances, shelter, and food (the basics). And wish him well.
If you see each “difficulty” as a problem, then you will have a life full of problems. If you see each event as an opportunity to practice creative problem-solving (even though it’s not a problem), then you will be more creative than you ever imagined!
Kismet 