Here is a smart and simple exercise for assessing whether you’re on the right road to autonomy, mastery and purpose in your life from Alan Webber, Fast Magazine cofounder.
Get a few index cards. On one card, write your response to this question:What gets you up in the morning? On the other side of that card, write “What keeps you up at night?”
Keep each answer to one sentence. Stop when each gives you a sense of “meaning and direction.” Now you have something to use as your personal compass. Check in to see if they remain true. If not, ask yourself what you’re going to do about it.
Pink, D. H. (2009). Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us. New York, NY: Riverhead Books.
Tip #6 from Daniel Pink’s Drive cannot be overstated: Just say no. Pink informs us that management guru Tom Peters creates a “To Don’t” list. These items zap energy and time away from goals.
In today’s fast-paced, highly-distractable world, staying on point is an obstacle in and of itself.
“What you decide not to do is probably more important than what you decide to do.”
We were walking on our daughter’s high school campus during Open House. The schedule was set up as a truncated school day: we were to follow the students’ schedules and meet each teacher for six minutes. We were given five minutes between each class. Willey and I were a bit overwhelmed and we realized how Josie (our first high school child) must have felt on her first day: the buildings so far apart, the time to get to each so limited. It was also over 100 degrees outside, even though it was 6pm.
“Mrs. Chung-Wipff?”
I turned around. I didn’t see anyone I recognized. A petite “helper” student walked toward me. (The high school had arranged to have some juniors and seniors assist parents). I searched the girl’s face. And suddenly, I recognized her. Same cute nose and adorable freckles.
I taught Taryn second and third grade. It was the only time I looped in teaching, carrying my entire class over to a second year. It was over eight years ago. When I said goodbye to that class, it felt like I was saying goodbye to my own children. One girl, Taryn, was moving to Utah. She had an angel face and greeted me every day with an enormous smile and the best attitude! She – and the others – made me a better teacher. She and I wept together on the last day of school. I was surprised at the amount of emotion we had. I was going to miss her so much!
And here she was!
I can’t believe she remembers me, I thought. As if she could read my mind, she said, “I can’t believe you remember me, after teaching so many kids!”
No matter what your profession, you must realize that your kindness, love and attention mean the world to someone in your life. It can affect others for years to come, you just never know.
When your child attempts something – and works so hard to prepare – yet doesn’t quite make her goal…
and then your child’s friend has a birthday party and doesn’t invite her…
…and THEN your child accidentally deletes all the photos on her phone and they are gone forever…
it’s tempting to want to solve her problems, to take her shopping and help her forget, to help her get happy again.
It’s tempting to tell her the girl is mean and not worth her friendship.
It’s tempting to get her a pedicure, to see those tears dry up.
Instead, hold her while she cries. Tell her it’s OK and that she can handle it. Because she can.
The key to a happy life is not to avoid problems (that’s impossible). The key to a happy life is to approach each problem with the attitude that you can handle it. This is what we must teach our children.
I came home today, opened my mail, and I got… this!
My cousin Jennifer reads my blog and she purchased this book for me after learning that I love Maangchi!
What a wonderful, generous gesture.
What if we all did something nice for someone every day? Wouldn’t it be a better world?
I am going to pay it forward by cooking some dishes and having friends over. As soon as my cousin can make her way to Arizona, she and her family will sit down at my table and enjoy the fruits of my mad Korean cooking skills.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about Eckhart Tolle’s premise that Judging others and ourselves, Attaching (to things) and Resisting reality (JAR) all lead to unhappiness and that if you eradicate these three things, you will be happy.
Counting down to vacation, the weekend, or the end of the work day are examples of moments when we resist reality. These are opportunities to stop and think: we need to stop resisting our reality, our longing to be elsewhere.
I used to have a Countdown app. Long story, but I was in a job with a terrible boss. The job would end in 102 days. When I realized this “secret,”- that counting down was the antithesis of living with joy – I deleted the app and paid attention to my life. I did my best to enjoy every minute of the job, despite this awful boss. And I really began to love it!
Enjoy your present moment. Our lives are made of a chain of present moments, right? One right after another….this makes up a lifetime.
I was eating lunch with someone. She said, “I wonder what we’ll have for dinner.” Don’t do that. Fully enjoy your lunch. Dinner will happen when it happens. “But I have to plan it. I have to think about it beforehand, it doesn’t just happen,” you say. True. But while you eat your lunch, eat your lunch. Enjoy each bite. Being fully present for each bite…realizing when you are full and stopping…this is the best “diet.” When it comes time to plan your dinner, do it. And plan your dinner, but only do that. Be fully present. Be happy.
We were driving to violin lessons today. It’s a 45 minute drive. The car in front of us was crossing the line and coming back. The car in the other lane could not advance because of this. I thought, “Either this driver is drunk, or texting.” We passed the car and I saw the driver looking at his lap, obviously on his phone. How dangerous! We saw several people driving in this manner.
Multi-tasking is not only the enemy of happiness and excellent work, it can also cost lives.
So do not countdown to the next thing. Do not do two things at the same time. Slow down. Relax. Be mindful. This is the secret to happiness.
Kismet 