success

Just Try…and Then Let It Go

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It’s that time of year again…when students who want to vye for a Student Council Officer position run their campaigns: create posters, prepare speeches, record them and hope for the best.

As I recorded several children giving their speeches, I was touched by their earnestness and jitters. It’s impossible for all who run to win, yet they are all – each of them – winners.

If there’s one thing I think we don’t teach our children enough (at home or school) is that it’s OK to try, to take a risk and not reach our goal. That it doesn’t mean we’re failures or that we ought to be ashamed.

It might sound like common sense to you.

Yet the words “loser” and “ashamed” are so pervasive in our culture. And “risktaker” denotes a type of reckless stunt person.

Risk-taking is the only way we grow, and it often includes some degree of pain.

 

 

The Light in Your Eyes

Our guide informs us about American history and politics, sprinkling jokes and anecdotes as the bus rolls from one museum to another.

He’s always smiling with a light in his eyes.

On Day One, he asked me how to pronounce my name. Ever since then, he has called me by name (voice booming with cheer) when he addresses me. 

He loves his job, you might surmise.

He loves his life.

Undoubtedly,  you’ve met someone like him. Always smiling,  never complaining. Joyful. 
It’s an attitude that pervades his life and affects every person he meets. The common cold… the flu and attitudes are all contagious.  

What are you spreading?


More Than One Way to Get There

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Naturally, clarity of your life’s ambition will help you get there. But lucidity of your vision will also foster creativity and cultivate resilience. For example, I want to help people (children and adults) feel empowered and be the best they can be through my writing and teaching. I applied for a job that would have helped me reach even more (students) than the 90 I help now. I received a letter of rejection and felt pretty awful. Until…

I realized there are many other ways to achieve my ultimate goal. I’m excited and energized all over again. “Failing” is just another way to readjust your road.

As Robert Frost infamously wrote:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.*
His point: know that there are more ways to get there and whatever you choose, you’ll be just fine.

 

*from Robert Frost’s poem, “The Road Less Traveled”

 

Bank Your Account

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I’m a teacher with a limited income. (How’s that for redundant?)

I contribute to my retirement funds, pay my bills, pay for my daughters’ violins, symphony fees and lessons. After that, I don’t have much left. And I don’t feel like I can treat myself to a manicure or purse. I just put the little morsels in savings, paycheck after paycheck.

But I’ve been finding myself feeling a bit empty. Do you know how Stephen Covey says you need to be mindful of emotional bank accounts in your relationships? I believe this pertains to the relationship you have with yourself, as well.

I decided to invest in myself and I have not felt this good in a very long time. I’m taking a class. It’s not cheap. But I believe it will help me achieve a lot more than if I didn’t take it. I feel empowered. Invigorated. Optimistic.

It might take just a small visit to a cupcake shop. It might mean you check yourself into a local hotel for a night or two to have peace and quiet to work on your screenplay. Or maybe it’s time for you to pursue that degree you’ve always dreamed of. Only you know for sure what will make a deposit into your own emotional bank account. But do it. Do what it takes. It will not only raise your spirits, but it’ll raise the spirits of those you love and who love you.

Two days ago, a car was t-boned right in front of me. My daughter was with me, sitting in the front passenger seat. The car flipped and landed upside down just 8 feet from my car. When it was in the air, I thought it might land on us. It didn’t. I realized at that moment – life is really short and unpredictable. When you’re on your deathbed, will you have regrets? That would be the saddest thing of all. It’s up to you. What are you waiting for?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not Better, Just Different

 

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My husband, daughters and I frequent a gelato place called Dolce Vita. It’s owned and operated by an Italian immigrant and his wife. They sell authentic Italian groceries, and prepare food from scratch, including the BEST gelato you could ever eat. Walter is the quintessential snob. He’s not afraid to be snooty with you and if you complain too much, you’ll be kicked out of his shop for life.

He mocks some of his troublesome American customers:

“Hm, what does this pear gelato taste like?”

In his thick Italian accent, he answers snidely, “Vaneeela!”

Another stupid question: “Which one is better, the Nutella gelato or the pineapple gelato?”

“It’s no better, just diffeh-rant!”

This reminded me of so many times I hear parents compare their children. I was compared a lot, to my siblings. It never made any of us feel good.

How can you compare human beings? It’s like comparing Nutella to pineapple gelato!

We do this alot, don’t we? We compare ourselves to others. How’s this working for you? You’re comparing an apple to oranges! Suggestion: stop comparing. If you’re going to be in competition so that you can improve, compete against yourself. Be better tomorrow than you were today. Simple.

Stop the madness and be joyful.

 

 

Falling…

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I fall 1,000 times, I get up 1,001.

There’s a saying I like, although I might change two of the words:

“Winners do what losers won’t.”

I prefer: “Successful people do what the Unrealized won’t.” It’s more wordy … a bit clunky, but I don’t believe anyone is a “winner” or a “loser.” Some people have embraced courage and run with it.  Some people are still working on their courage.

Go on. Get up. Help make the world a better place. We need you.

 

 

 

 

Habits, Success and Resolutions

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I don’t like to work out, but I’ve been working out regularly for decades. The secret? A reward shortly after working out. It’s usually a bubble bath.

I just bought this:

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According to Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), the secret to developing a habit is to identify and implement three things:

  1. a cue
  2. a routine
  3. a reward

The cue could be “morning”, the routine could be going to the gym and the reward could be a bubble bath (I don’t advise chocolate cake).

Remember, good habits are invaluable: they help you reach your goals on autopilot. If you don’t have to struggle to do the work because it is a habit, the more likely you’ll stick with it!

What are your cues, routines and rewards?

 

 

 

Brick by Brick

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Let’s say your life is a small house made of brick. Each day is one brick. Is any day really more important than another? How would you feel if you realized, at the end of construction, that most of those bricks were spent worry, hurrying, or wishing for the one Vacation Day brick…or the Promotion Day brick? Pretty silly, eh?

Conversely, what kind of house – life – would you have if each day (brick) was spent in full presence? What if you placed each brick carefully, lovingly and enjoyed the process?

Each brick is important, but the most important one is the one you’re laying down right now.