Have you ever had a thought and felt a change in your body?
Have you ever thought of something that bothered you and gotten a stomach ache?
When you think of your upcoming vacation, does your heart get happy?
Our thoughts affect our minds.
You have control over your mind.
Do you choose to be happy?
We are at the Ikeda Theater, waiting to watch Itzhak Perlman. We’re in the nosebleeds section, despite paying several hundred dollars. But this is Perlman. You can’t put a price on this.
Who comes to sit right next to us, but the girl and the mom who were so rude during summer symphony camp! I had set some gifts for the teachers and a sweater on my seat and came back after lunch to find them removed. “Mrs. S.” was sitting in our seats, her tripod and fancy camera all set up to capture her princess in her quartet group. She had placed my possessions in “lost and found.”
I was fuming.
And here we are now. It’s funny how feelings can come to surface again.
Deep breath. This pain is ego. You cannot fight ego by resisting it.
This is called “practice” or meditation. Be mindful. Be aware. And let it go.
People are talking while Mr. Perlman is playing. Let it go.
It is not always easy.
I’m sitting with my husband and my daughters who are dressed in their finest clothes. They did their hair in fancy dos and they feel special because we are taking them out to see Itzhak Perlman.
I choose to enjoy the evening, moment by moment.
Ah, the selfie.
Nothing wrong with taking pictures of yourself once in awhile.
And scientific data linking selfies to narcissim are in their budding stages. But emerging data show a link between frequency of changing profile pictures and use of editing software (to enhance the photos). It seems if you’re editing your photos to look better than you really do signals possible narcissim. (Psychology Today)
Identifying narcissism and and other psychological disorders accurately require a substantial analysis that usually includes multiple traits. No one is saying that just because you’re taking selfies, you’re narcissistic. BUT…
It’s because they do not possess a sense of self-concept. They don’t think about themselves and worry about their “image.” They embrace life – everything and everyone around them. They are fully present. We can learn so much from them.
Of course, we’re human and we have higher brain functioning. We have the ability to have self-concepts. But we DO have control over whether we decide to pursue such materialistic fancies.
Why not choose to be happy and disregard the self-concept, the self-image? Just enjoy your life. Don’t be concerned about what other think of you. Remember, “No one cares as much as you think they do.”
Let’s say your life is a small house made of brick. Each day is one brick. Is any day really more important than another? How would you feel if you realized, at the end of construction, that most of those bricks were spent worry, hurrying, or wishing for the one Vacation Day brick…or the Promotion Day brick? Pretty silly, eh?
Conversely, what kind of house – life – would you have if each day (brick) was spent in full presence? What if you placed each brick carefully, lovingly and enjoyed the process?
Each brick is important, but the most important one is the one you’re laying down right now.
Opal was a rescue from a shelter.
People say, “Wow, she’s lucky you found her.” She’s a pitbull mix and there are many where she came from. Her breed is supposedly unpredictable. Mean. Violent. She’s lucky to have found a home!
But really, we are the lucky ones.
She makes her rounds all night, checking on each daughter and then on us.
She rarely barks, saving her growls for trespassers outside our door. She’s so protective!
Petting her releases endorphins and dopamine, chemicals that keep anxiety at bay.
She looks at us with those beautiful eyes and persuades us to go for a walk, even if it’s cold outside.
Her mere presence cheers us up after a rough day at work or school.
She reminds us to revel in the present moment, to breathe in the fresh air, and to spot rabbits in the bushes.
What makes her happy? Food. A warm bed. Loved ones nearby. She teaches us that it doesn’t take much to be blissful.
You’re on your 18th diet. You’ve lost weight before – many times – and you’re planning on doing it once more. You’re going to the Bahamas this spring and you want to look good.
Why do you find yourself back in this place again and again?
You had the wrong kind of motivation.
There’s short-term motivation and long-term motivation. Short-term motivation is fueled by factors outside of the goal. For example, you’re motivated to lose 15 lbs. because you want to look good for your trip to the Bahamas. “The Bahamas” is not only outside the contiguous United States, but it’s also outside of being healthy and fit. You’ll be able to take the weight off, maybe. But the weight will come back. This is because your motivation lies outside of you. It’s external.
If you want to lose 30 lbs. because you want to be more ambulatory or because you want to get off your blood pressure medication and you want to feel more energetic, then your motivation is internal and you are much, much more likely to stick with your exercise, diet and all the other healthy habits that you need to adopt for the change.
This goes for any goal you create for yourself. If you want to ensure that you make a long-lasting (permanent) change, define for yourself the internal motivation for it. The externals are easy: more money, the respect of others, prestige, etc. But the internals? These could include: new skills, peace of mind, confidence, mental strength, and physical strength.
Of course, there are consequences for hard work. You very well might make more money by gaining new work skills. You might get noticed and gain fame. You might look great on the beach. But make sure these are not part of your motivation and it’s more likely that you’ll sustain your success.
It’s the WHY, as well as the how.
Fierce – adj., 3. Furiously Eager and Intense
When I was in my early twenties, I lived in San Francisco and wanted to be a writer. To be a good writer, you have to read a lot. I was forever changed when I read Natalie Goldberg’s Wild Mind. In it is a passage about feeling “wild” while you sit calmly, writing. I completely identified with this! I made up my mind to have a Wild Mind from then on.
Being “wild” mentally naturally helps my writing and my creativity. However, I noticed that when I feel sluggish physically, I am pretty dull inside, too. So I force myself to exercise. Believe me, I am never excited about lacing up the work out shoes. But I make it a habit. I get my shoes on, turn Jillian on (the DVD, not her…) and I go to town. It’s hard. I sweat. I look forward to it ending. But I do it. And when I’m done, I feel SO GOOD (not just because it’s over). The endorphins kick in and I feel more energized and positive. I am on top of the world!
On some Sundays, I like to go roller skating. I’m almost as fast as Apolo Ohno. This gives me a great high, too. I feel fierce.
What makes you feel ferocious? What can you do to make it a habit?
I made the mistake of reading some news today. BIG mistake. What a downer. How dispiriting! But tonight, my family attended my daughter’s high school dance performance. Over 20 different acts, ranging from beginning to highly advanced performed in quick succession. And instantly, my spirits lifted. Kids of all ages, of all body types, and of all skills danced their hearts out. The audience was comprised of friends and families who hooted and hollered their encouragement, calling kids by name.
Dance. Art. Music. Literature. These are activities that require self-discipline, practice and focus. When you observe or participate in the arts, you are party to a deep, spiritual practice of love and harmony.
If you’re feeling “blah” or down, I highly recommend that you attend a local live show – preferably put on by children – immediately. Your spirit will soar.
I attended a workshop on educational leadership today. I walked away with lots of good stuff but one quote that stuck with me was:
Get what you want. Find a way.
Being a leader means helping others lead, really. Supporting others to be the best they can be is one of the biggest objectives and one of the most challenging. One vital channel to this goal is to make others feel appreciated and help them in their jobs.
Make your staff feel valued by obtaining resources that they need or want for their work. Show them that you appreciate what they do and that you consider it important. “Get what you want. Find a way.”
This is really the secret to success, isn’t it? What do you want? How can you find a way to get it?
Practicing gratitude improves your life in a multitude of ways. According to Amy Morin, a psychological business writer for Forbes.com, reflecting on all that you have to be grateful for benefits you in the following ways:
Reflecting on gratitude is a form of living in presence.
Happy Thanksgiving, all.
Kismet 