Personal Success

A 10 Year old Says…

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One of the questions on our last 5th grade social studies quiz was, “How can we, as Americans, ensure equal rights for everyone?” This was on the heels of learning about slavery and the Civil Rights Movement (literary study: The Watsons Go to Birmingham).

Most of my students answered, “Treat everyone like we’d like to be treated,”  or “remind everyone about the Constitution.”

But one student wrote:

We could start an activity or sports program where EVERYONE was invited. People of all races would play together and while they played and made friends with each other, they would see we are all the same and racism would be gone.

 

If you’re feeling discouraged, by recent racist rhetoric from a small group of small-minded people, remember there are a lot of good people out there. Our children are wise.

Mirth Within the Means

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As I approach the end of my novella, I find myself (still) keeping Monkey Mind at bay and working hard to get to the finish line. This means business! This means focus!

 

My shoulders get tight.

I look at the word count constantly to ensure I am making my goal.

I second-guess myself.

And I forget to have fun.

But when I remember to lighten up, the writing flows. I get more creative. And I magically hit my numbers.

Do what kids and puppies do: Have fun!

5 Magic Words

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It Is What It Is

I used to hate this saying. I often heard it after I complained about something. What kind of retort is that? It just made me angry. “It is what it is.”

When I was a kid, my home was toilet papered and egged. They wrote  “chink” on the driveway. “This happens,” my father said as our family cleaned the mess up. The words stung, like alcohol on an open wound. How could he react in such a weak manner?

And yesterday, my daughter cried. A boy she considers to be a good friend made a racist joke about Asian eyes and dental floss. I was inflamed! But she sat – quiet and still and oh-so-wise, in the puddle of ignorance, stupidity and pain this boy caused. She said, “I want to talk to him and explain why it was hateful and hurtful. He will understand and never do it again. I know he’s a good kid.” As her mother, I could only see red. Someone broke my daughter’s heart and made her question this world (once more), just so he could get laughs. 

And I knew. I knew the anger I felt was a false sense of power.Being angry makes you feel energized and ready to mobilize. But anger is fear on steroids.

“It is what it is” is not a rallying cry to be passive. It means,”what you see before you, IS.” 

When I was undergoing surgery for breast cancer, these five words were embodied in the doctor’s confident hands, the nurses’ night time vigil and my family and friends’ constant support. This IS the situation and we’re taking care of it right now.

It’s about accepting that which you cannot change. If you can’t change it, your anger and defiance – your energy – are wasted. You continually generate negativity.

In fact, acceptance is the first step to proactivity. Once you accept reality (that which IS, that which you cannot change), you can use your energy and creativity to begin to make steps to exact change. A couple of wise friends of mine often say, “This, too, shall pass.” Everything is impermanent. Accept each season.

 

Writing Update

I’m going to share my update with you in the hopes that you feel camaraderie. Writing can be a lonely experience (albeit a very rewarding one!). I like the solitude and the quiet. It’s actually what I crave right now, after the tornado of politics, media and my husband’s 50th birthday celebrations.

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Word Count on my novella:14,176

Goal (approximate): 25,020

Children’s Book: Esther, Mia and the Stars – Spanish translation is done! Scanning of images –   80% complete!

I am strongly considering using Fiverr.com for the Mandarin, Cantonese and French translations.

My mother (I believe) will be very happy to do the Korean translation.

 

 

 

When Labels Are Necessary

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Labels are important on:

  • chemicals, poisons, toxins,
  • produce, canned foods, cosmetics, prescriptions
  • private documents
  • shipping containers
  • plants at a nursery
  • DVDs, CDs, records
  • clothing
  • contact lens cases (left, right)
  • luggage
  • shelves at a library, store, science lab

But labels do not belong on people.

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When we label each other as “other” (Republican, Democrat, poor, rich, stupid, illegal immigrant, foreigner, smart, crazy, disabled, etc.), we create a chasm which enables us to treat each other inhumanely.

We can each do our part by stopping this practice. Go ahead, try it. I bet it will make you happier.

 

 

What Makes You Tick?

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When I use the “chuck it” with my dog, Opal, she runs as fast as lightning. I’ll throw the tennis ball 6 or 7 times and when we’re done, Opal is exhausted and happy. And then she’s mellow for the rest of the day. She is kinder with other dogs and she’s a delight to be around.

When I skip my own workout, I feel sluggish. I don’t have as much energy. When I force myself to work out – despite fatigue – I feel energized and I’m ready to take on my work.

Sometimes, the “magic pill” is just hard work.

What is it for you? Meditation? Yoga? Weight lifting? Set yourself up for success and do it, even if you don’t feel like it.

Nanowrimo

 

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Green Chameleon

Whose idea was it to have Nanowrimo in November?

My husband’s birthday is in November – his 50th birthday, so we partied for TWO weekends. And then there’s Thanksgiving. To say it’s been challenging to write is an understatement, what with work, family, and parties…but it’s SUPER FUN!

I’ve set a goal for myself to write a “novella,” (7,500 to 40,000 words)  instead of a novel (60,000 to 100,000 words). I wanted to set myself up for success, afterall!  So I targeted 25,000 words and averaged it the number of days in November. Here is my excel sheet to monitor daily progress:

Nov goal actual  balance
1 834 300 534
2 1668 368 1300
3 2502 2218 284
4 3336 3327 9
5 4170 3870 300
6 5004 3870 1134
7 5838 4401 1437
8 6672 6014 658
9 7506 6440 1066
10 8340 7603 737
11 9174 on the road, wrote in word
12 10008 9122 886
13 10842 10682 160
14 11676 11201 475
15 12510
16 13344

As you can see, I have to write at least 475  more words tonight. So here I go! I hope you are enjoying the process and making progress. Once in awhile, I have to remind myself to HAVE FUN and not stress about the word count or listen to Monkey Mind! 

 

Just keep writing!

Filters

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When you are in the presence of a person who speaks his mind freely, spontaneously and thoroughly (often inappropriately) we say, “He has no filter.”

This is often a problem in the classroom when there are 34 students and the teacher has numerous goals she wants to achieve. The outspoken person not only takes up valuable time uttering words that have little to no value, but it can distract other students and take them off-task.

It often causes drama.

That student can filter his words, but it requires self-awareness and self-discipline.

We can ALL filter our minds. We are in control of what we choose to read. We are all, each, in control of who we socialize with and, to some degree, who we engage with at work. You can choose to read the news and get upset or, you can choose to opt out.

But how will I stay informed? How will I continue to participate in my world?

To which I ask, “Are you truly engaging and participating in the world when you read what inflames you and then complain about it?” How about doing some volunteer work? How about starting a rights group? How about writing letters to your state representatives?

There will things you see or hear that you do not like. This is when space is helpful.

Filter your world carefully and you will see a change for the better.