I take walking breaks between teaching classes. I used to grab my little iPod mini (which replaced my Sony Walkman). I got tired of listening to my music. So I plugged my headphones into my cell phone and listened to TedTalks and informational videos on YouTube. The change has been tremendous!
I’ve learned about meditation, motivation, education, nutrition and much more. Because I learn during my walks, I have more to offer my students, my children, my spouse and friends. Now, my walks provide mental as well as physical energy.
What are you listening to? What are you reading? You’re in control of the input. Now – more than ever – there is “information” and “noise.” Be mindful about what goes through those ears of yours and into your beautiful mind.
Nothing wrong with taking pictures of yourself once in awhile.
And scientific data linking selfies to narcissim are in their budding stages. But emerging data show a link between frequency of changing profile pictures and use of editing software (to enhance the photos). It seems if you’re editing your photos to look better than you really do signals possible narcissim. (Psychology Today)
Identifying narcissism and and other psychological disorders accurately require a substantial analysis that usually includes multiple traits. No one is saying that just because you’re taking selfies, you’re narcissistic. BUT…
Have you ever noticed how happy dogs are?
It’s because they do not possess a sense of self-concept. They don’t think about themselves and worry about their “image.” They embrace life – everything and everyone around them. They are fully present. We can learn so much from them.
Of course, we’re human and we have higher brain functioning. We have the ability to have self-concepts. But we DO have control over whether we decide to pursue such materialistic fancies.
Why not choose to be happy and disregard the self-concept, the self-image? Just enjoy your life. Don’t be concerned about what other think of you. Remember, “No one cares as much as you think they do.”
I’m grateful for many, many things. I have a very good life: a job I love, two healthy, beautiful children, a husband who loves me, a nice home, an affectionate dog and an enormous “wine refrigerator”.
However, I’m not 100% content. I don’t like the recent spate of racist incidents around the country (KKK). I don’t like that Asians are under represented in TV, film and books. I don’t like the fact that so many in this country (and the world) go hungry each night.
Complaining isn’t going to change anything.
Writing an amazing script, raising money and getting the independent film with Asian actors produced and shown at film festivals WILL change the scene.
Organizing a passionate, savvy group of people to pressure our legislators for gun control laws WILL save lives.
Reaching out to all the different, beautifully diverse people in my community WILL help change racial stereotypes and bring some peace.
Creating programs to help homeless people get job skills and become income earners WILL change their lives.
Inventing affordable solar panels WILL help save the environment.
What can you do today/this week/this month/this year to provide “A little more bite, and a little less bark”?
Yesterday’s blog was about being fierce and how to get there. Today’s post is about the opposite: sadness and lethargy.
2016 was a difficult and painful year for many people I know. The holidays can sometimes lead to funk, not cheer. According to Psychology Today, the anticipation of merriment might lead to pensive gloominess or even depression. We drink too much, eat too much and sleep too little. Some signs of the holiday blues include: “Headaches, insomnia, uneasiness, anxiety, sadness, intestinal problems, and unnecessary conflict with family and friends.” (Psychology Today)
How to beat it?
The article cites 10 tips. I’ll give them to you in a nutshell:
Be reasonable with your schedule.
Organize your time.
Declare an amnesty with your friends and family.
Manage your expectations. Holidays won’t be for you as an adult what they were when you were a child!
Volunteer to help others in need.
Alcohol is a depressant. Drink in moderation.
Take breaks – especially physical ones, like exercise or just walking.
Think half-full, not half-empty. The choice is yours!
Take breaks – exercise, walk around the neighborhood. Get moving!
Choose to see the glass half-full, not half-empty. You do have a choice.
I attended a workshop on educational leadership today. I walked away with lots of good stuff but one quote that stuck with me was:
Get what you want. Find a way.
Being a leader means helping others lead, really. Supporting others to be the best they can be is one of the biggest objectives and one of the most challenging. One vital channel to this goal is to make others feel appreciated and help them in their jobs.
Make your staff feel valued by obtaining resources that they need or want for their work. Show them that you appreciate what they do and that you consider it important. “Get what you want. Find a way.”
This is really the secret to success, isn’t it? What do you want? How can you find a way to get it?
As I approach the end of my novella, I find myself (still) keeping Monkey Mind at bay and working hard to get to the finish line. This means business! This means focus!
My shoulders get tight.
I look at the word count constantly to ensure I am making my goal.
I second-guess myself.
And I forget to have fun.
But when I remember to lighten up, the writing flows. I get more creative. And I magically hit my numbers.
I’ve always been a bit high-strung. I’ve always been a worrier.
I used to spend more time worrying than taking action to stop the worry.
As I begin the last half of my life, I want to be a warrior.
I’m reading Tolle, Singer, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.
Bday gift from sis…
I’ve read all kinds of books and learned a lot. But I heard Elizabeth Gilbert the other day on a podcast and she said something that clicked (!)
She was talking about her writing process and she said she writes in seasons….you know, as in nature. She said something like this (totally paraphrasing): There’s the quiet (winter) phase, where’s she’s in between projects and thinking, getting inspired. Then she begins research (spring), and she writes (summer) and then does the whole marketing tour bit (fall). And the cycle begins again.
The part that struck me as shockingly KIND to herself was that she gave herself time to just think, rejuvenate, get inspired. She sees it all as an integral part of her creative process.
Wow.
You mean, you don’t have to keep working and sweating?
It made sense to me. Of COURSE, even nature takes breaks. Parts of it die in order to enable other things to grow. This applies to every career, every job, every role in life.
So yes, make your To Do lists and set goals. That is important. But be sure to take the time to relax, re-energize, and follow the cycle. Calmly get each step done. No need for stress.
When my daughters were six and seven, I realized something shameful.
I had a tummy paunch and was telling myself it was post-pregnancy fat. Yep, six years after giving birth, I excused and denied my mottled middle.
My moment of reckoning occurred at a Cold Stone Creamery of all places. We were eating our favorites: Ava with her Chocolate Devotion, Josie with her Strawberry Blonde and me with my Coffee Lovers. Boy, were we having a great time!
Before I get further with this story, I want to make something clear: there is nothing wrong with love handles or a bit of pudge. As long as YOU’RE OK with it. I was not OK with my weight. I wore loose clothing and felt badly when I undressed. It’s just me….I feel best about myself when I am fit. I have a small frame and I feel uncomfortable with excess pounds. This is not a judgment about other people. It’s about me confronting something I was unhappy about and how I changed it.
Continuing…We got up from the table when a very fit woman walked past the window.
She walked just like this…
“Wow, she’s fit,” I said, wistfully.
“Mommy, you look good too, everywhere except your tummy.” Josie said.
As with all children, her words rang true. I had let myself go a bit. I licked the final bits of Coffee Lovers off my upper lip. I fought tears. And I sighed.
I was ready to change.
In the next year, I lost 7 lbs. and got fit again. I had more energy and I was in a better mood much of the time. How did I do this?
I simply changed my habits.
Instead of going out for ice cream, I took the girls out for walks. We didn’t stop going out for treats entirely, we just cut back.
Instead of eating when I felt bored or stressed, I started jogging and doing yoga again. BUT, I made it a habit and I rewarded myself each time. According to Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit), this is THE key to success. I woke up an hour early every day. I put on my workout clothes which I laid out the night before. After my workout, I had a glass of water and a cup of coffee. I reveled in feeling the endorphins run through my body and my coffee became my reward. I told myself, “No workout, no coffee.” I like coffee a LOT. That was enough to keep me going.
Honestly, I believe I am in better shape now than I was 25 years ago.
Is there something you want to change? How can you develop habits to make it happen? It’s easier than you think! I highly recommend Charles Duhigg’s book, “The Power of Habit.” It’s very entertaining and informative.
Kismet 