yoga

Equanimity

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e·qua·nim·i·ty
ˌekwəˈnimədē/
noun
  1. mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.
    “she accepted both the good and the bad with equanimity“

As I study “The Greats” of yoga and meditation, I run across this word a lot. It’s central to the philosophy of yoga. Deep breaths. Space. Equanimity.

For me, it’s connected to the Tao, the Middle Way. No extremes. Don’t over react to either end of the spectrum. This way, you can be happy no matter what.

Beware. Once you decide to be more equanamous, you will be challenged left and right. Just remember, nothing is that serious. Take a deep breath. Allow s-p-a-c-e between your reaction and whatever it is that is happening.

Stay composed.

 

 

 

The Secrets To Being Fit For Life

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You’re on your 18th diet. You’ve lost weight before – many times – and you’re planning on doing it once more. You’re going to the Bahamas this spring and you want to look good.

Why do you find yourself back in this place again and again?

You had the wrong kind of motivation.

There’s short-term motivation and long-term motivation. Short-term motivation is fueled by factors outside of the goal. For example, you’re motivated to lose 15 lbs. because you want to look good for your trip to the Bahamas. “The Bahamas” is not only outside the contiguous United States, but it’s also outside of  being healthy and fit. You’ll be able to take the weight off, maybe. But the weight will come back. This is because your motivation lies outside of you. It’s external.

If you want to lose 30 lbs. because you want to be more ambulatory or because you want to get off your blood pressure medication and you want to feel more energetic, then your motivation is internal and you are much, much  more likely to stick with your exercise, diet and all the other healthy habits that you need to adopt for the change.

This goes for any goal you create for yourself. If you want to ensure that you make a long-lasting (permanent) change, define for yourself the internal motivation for it. The externals are easy: more money, the respect of others, prestige, etc. But the internals? These could include: new skills, peace of mind, confidence, mental strength, and physical strength.

Of course, there are consequences for hard work. You very well might make more money by gaining new work skills. You might get noticed and gain fame. You might look great on the beach.  But make sure these are not part of your motivation and it’s more likely that you’ll sustain your success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the WHY, as well as the how.

 

A Letter to the Anxious

Dear Fellow Fretter,

I’ve always been a bit high-strung. I’ve always been a worrier.

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I used to spend more time worrying than taking action to stop the worry.

As I begin the last half of my life, I want to be a warrior.

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I’m reading Tolle, Singer, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.

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Bday gift from sis…

I’ve read all kinds of books and learned a lot. But I heard Elizabeth Gilbert the other day on  a podcast and she said something that clicked (!)

She was talking about her writing process and she said she writes in seasons….you know, as in nature.  She said something like this (totally paraphrasing): There’s the quiet (winter) phase, where’s she’s in between projects and thinking, getting inspired. Then she begins research (spring), and she writes (summer) and then does the whole marketing tour bit (fall). And the cycle begins again.

The part that struck me as shockingly KIND to herself was that she gave herself time to just think, rejuvenate, get inspired. She sees it all as an integral part of her creative process.

Wow.

You mean, you don’t have to keep working and sweating?

It made sense to me. Of COURSE, even nature takes breaks. Parts of it die in order to enable other things to grow. This applies to every career, every job, every role in life.

So yes, make your To Do lists and set goals. That is important. But be sure to take the time to relax, re-energize, and follow the cycle. Calmly get each step done. No need for stress.

 

 

 

 

 

Yoga for the Back

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We were out of town for a week – back to the San Francisco area – and walked a lot. It was great spending time with family and friends, eating good food, seeing the sights.

Somehow, I hurt my back. Could have been a combination of the plane ride, tight muscles and aging. It’s not that bad, but I rarely hurt myself and found myself limping along this morning, doing five loads of laundry. The pain was so great, I understood why people take pain killers.

So I got down on the mat and did “front bends” with Rodney Yee for 20 minutes with his A.M. Yoga.  I know, he’s not a saint in his personal life. But my back is MUCH, much better after giving some attention to it.

“Get out of your mind and listen to your body. Listen to what your body’s telling you.”

Rodney Yee

What’s your body telling you?

Self-Publishing: Last Minute Changes

I’m still uploading illustrations and I’ve discovered I’m missing several – actually, many – illustrations. The girls (my daughters) are not going to be happy about creating more at this point.

Oh well.

I also learned that published books through Createspace.com only come in MATTE, not glossy. Traditionally, children’s books are glossy. You know what? I’m OK with that, I think it will be cool to have it matte – sounds old timey in a good way. My book is definitely NOT traditional, anyhow.

I’ve also decided to translate the English to several different languages: French, Korean, Mandarin, Spanish…this way, it will be educational in a foreign language/cultural/anti-bullying way.

With these changes, this is going to take a long time. My goal is to complete it by March 2017. That is when I first starting writing the book. Yes, that’s an awful long time to write and publish a dinky children’s book, but I work full-time and I have two daughters who are very busy with violin extracurriculars. I’m also wife to a very high-maintenance husband. Just kidding,  he’s pretty easy-going.

The DOG on the other hand…

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I was doing yoga and Bryan Kest said something I’ve heard a hundred times (I practice to his DVDs) which finally made an impression on me:

“Go as far as you want to go, as long as there is stability.”

Stability = family + work balance

Stability = emotional, mental, spiritual

Stability = physical (strength and flexibility)

Working consistently in an even-keeled manner, not stressing and taking it out on your loved ones…this is yoga.

 

 

 

 

 

The “S” Word

Growing up as a 2nd generation Korean-American girl, I was taught that indolence (or laziness) was a crime. My siblings and I took Tae-Kwon Do lessons, violin/cello/saxophone lessons, and piano lessons during the school year. During the summer, we added gymnastics (for us girls) and sports (for my brother). My father held three jobs when he first immigrated to the United States and he still managed to earn a PhD. All of this was considered “the norm” for people who wanted to succeed. And if you didn’t succeed, well, then you were a loser, a dreg of society. If you didn’t get straight A’s, get a full scholarship to college and then make a ton of money, you were not special. You were “blah.” No one wants to be “blah,” right?

All the other 2nd Gen KA’s felt the pressure. When the Koreans got together for dinners at each others’ houses, the main conversation was which child was going to which Ivy League school.

As you can imagine, there was fallout. Someone got pregnant and dropped out of high school. Another dropped out of law school and became (gasp!) an artist.

I became an elementary school teacher and writer. This is maybe one rung above being an artist. Maybe. It could be one rung lower. I don’t know. Ask a Korean. Anyway…

I’ve known a few people who committed suicide because their outsides didn’t match or meet their inside expectations. These were really good people and it scared me, because I could relate. So I studied yoga and meditation. The idea of just “being” resonated deeply. Feeling calm and peaceful feel really good. Isn’t this why people work so hard to attain their goals? To feel good in the end?

Yet, I had this conflict: I still wanted to DO something. I wanted to be “successful” at what I pursued and I wanted to feel at peace at the same time. Is this possible? How do you simultaneously work really hard at something and feel that “just being” is enough?

I’ve come to realize that there is nothing wrong with ambition, as long as it aims to help others. And working really hard toward that aim provides all the contentment one could want in reaching one’s goals. The surrender part replaces the expectation part (of accolades, awards, bonuses, fame, etc.)

As one yogi says,

“We show up, burn brightly, live passionately, hold nothing back, and when the moment is over, when our work is done, we step back and let go.”

(Gates and Kenison, Meditations From the Mat).

 

So go ahead, burn brightly! But remember to surrender.

 

 

 

It’s OK

We all ought to be more like dogs, if we want to live joyful lives and be good people.

“I can’t walk you this morning, I’m running late.”

“It’s OK.”

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I’ll just do Down Dog, then.

“You will have to be all alone today, for 9 hours. I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK.”

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I’ll take a nap.

 

“We ran out of your favorite treats, so no treats for you today.”

“It’s OK. I can still rub my back on the carpet and meditate.”

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I love this rug.

 

 

Monday Meditation

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Bryan Kest

I practice yoga at home. I don’t practice enough, but when I do, I like Bryan Kest’s Power Yoga video.

My favorite part of the practice is when he says:

“It’s not WHAT you do, but HOW you do what you do.” 

He says it slowly and it makes me think every time. Yes, how you do what you do.

Example #1:

Your server at the restaurant carefully places the plate in front of you, smiles and wordlessly refills your glass.

OR…

Your server brusquely sets your plate down and hurries off to the next table.

Example #2:

Your daughter tells you a story and you listen while looking at your cell phone. She feels like an after thought.

OR…

You give your daughter full attention – eyes and ears – as she tells you a story. She feels loved and respected.

We have our “to do” lists. We have jobs that have to be done. We do these action items day after day and they build up to weeks, months and years. This is called “our life.” There is no end to the things that need to be done. But the quality of our life is in the how of what we’ve done on a consistent basis.