When I was a kid, we had all kinds of sayings:
Takes one to know one.
Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
Take a chill pill!
But one that stands out is: You’re just projecting! I don’t think we really understood what we were saying, but it usually left the Complainer speechless.
And with good reason.
When we complain about others, we are projecting. Byron Katie’s work includes as “turnaround.” When you find yourself grumbling about someone, she has you turn it around:
“Sheila should not operate out of fear.”
Turn it around.
“I should not operate out of fear.”
With inquiry, we find that we are projecting our own fears and inadequacies.
Pick up trash
Help the homeless
Encourage the downtrodden
Produce a documentary
Invent environmentally conscious containers
Be kind to all
This one is simple. Direct. In your face.
Still playing with ideas…
I was working on the back cover art and came up with the illustration shown above.
Feedback from my family:
“That first little chameleon is so cute!”
“Um, that second one is humping the dad.”
“Yeah, why’s she humping his dad?”
Lots of laughing.
I started over. There were murmurs that the second baby chameleon was doing something x-rated to the sibling.
“Move the second chameleon up higher, she still looks like she’s humping her dad.”
Despite the pain, feedback IS valuable.
I’m going with this one:
I just need to make the cover and I’ll be ready to start the self-publishing process…
The next day, Kevin approached Carlos and Minji.
“I’m sorry for my behavior. I want to hang out with you guys again. I promise I will never lose my temper and be a sore loser…or an annoying winner.”
“Or complain about the sun in your eyes?” Minji asked.
“Or grumble about being tired when you’re losing?” Carlos added.
Carlos and Minji accepted his apology and they all were friends once again.
Kevin watched. The wheels in his little mind were turning.
*Kevin the Complainer, to be published in March 2019