Many years later, when Kevin was in his backyard with his children, his daughter Ava cried out, “Dad! Josie is cheating at Tag!”
Kevin said just one thing.
“Is that so?”
*Kevin the Complainer
humor
Domestic Distraction
I sat down to work on my Teachers’ National Board Certification.
I got a lot done:
Three loads of laundry, the dishes, my car, and refrigerator are clean, and my dog got a bath.
And now this post.
Ok. Here I go. I’m really going to do it.
Samuel Adams
My fifth-grade class was conducting research on Loyalists vs Patriots pre-Revolutionary War. Students were assigned Benjamin Franklin, Lord Dunmore, Tom Hutchinson, Mercy Otis Warren, or Samuel Adams.
One of my students was perplexed.
“I have Samuel Adams and I don’t understand this word: ‘lager'”.
Person, Place or Thing?
I showed my husband this illustration for my next book, Kevin the Complainer. This is Ms. Meretta, Kevin’s teacher. (My favorite teacher of all time was Ms. Meretta and she’s becoming a mainstay in all my books!)
Husband – sans glasses – squints. Awkward wait time follows.
At last he says, “Oh! I thought that was a chestnut!”
Calling Home
He talked as I taught the lesson. I asked him to stop.
He talked some more during work time. I asked him to stop.
I changed his seating – nestling him between two quiet students. He talked out loud instead of getting his work done.
I called him to my desk. His parents’ phone numbers were in front of us.
I rarely call home.
“Who shall I call? Mom or dad?”
“Mom,” he said.
“Dad it is!”
No Such Thing as a Free Lunch
I pack my daughters’ lunches on school days. Yes, they’re teenagers and could do it themselves and no, I’m not spoiling them. I do it because it really is a pleasure for me.
Monday, I packed chicken quesadillas. I used Costco shredded cheese. Literally, it says “Mexican Blend Cheese“:
Ava comes home and says, “The Mexican boys at my table saw my lunch and asked me why you use yellow cheese. I told them that I have a Korean mom.”
!
Tuesday, I packed garlicky pasta. Because I’m so nice and thoughtful, I taped a piece of gum on the thermos:
No comment from the peanut gallery teens.
Wednesday, I packed Korean sticky rice and threw in some dried seaweed. Ava says she wants to be more vegetarian, so I thought this was perfect.
She came home and said, “I got so much teasing over my Asian lunch.”
Thursday, I packed more Korean sticky rice and baked tilapia. But when I looked for small tupperware, I had none. I’ve decided to stop using plastic bags (you know, the ocean and all) and so I had to use the zipper pouches I wrote about before:
Yes, I put fish in a bag.
That afternoon, Ava comes home and sighs.
“Could you please pack lunches that won’t get me beat up*?”
*Obviously, she’s not really getting beat nor bullied.
Truth of the Day
One of my sixth graders told me, “I feel like the older I get, the faster time goes.”
All: I didn’t catch the beautiful essence of this woman. Anyone with tips – I welcome constructive criticism. 🙂
Audacity
My daughter told me a fellow classmate asked her what her last name was.
Ava: “My last name is Wipff”
Girl: “W-i–f-f?”
Ava: “No, W-i-p-f-f. P, as in pterodactyl or pseudonym.”
Shearing the Lambs
Companion Communication
He’s texting and calls out, “spell upholstery please”
I answer, “u-p-h-o-l-s-t-e-r-y”
He asks for more –
a-d-r-e-n-a-l-i-n-e
h-a-l-l-e-l-u-j-a-h
d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s
Outside, the owls – a traveling pair – coo
I wonder if she has to spell for him, too
Kismet 